Howmanheyman

It needs to flip the middle England seats. Most of the area around me is labour. It needs to look further down the road.

You're not doing yourself any favours.

This red wall bollocks needs fucking torpedoing to be honest. Sick of hearing about it and sick of the massively inflated influence it apparently has that it previously never had when it was supposedly more red.

When his star was at his personal peak he undoubtedly had his long term eye on Man U as he probably thought Fergie might have called it a day sooner than he did and he was probably hopeful to be in a good place if it did and thought NUFC might be too risky for himself especially following Robson and being shown up.* *Swap Robson for Rafa, now.

It was.

What about the special relationship we have?

He's took a wage cut and relegated clubs or clubs who think they can gamble to get the PL cash in the long run might fork it out although obviously the older he is the less likely that gets plus he hasn't played a lot.

He's getting three years wages from us guaranteed. That's his motivation and it's no upheaval. The club's motivation is it's easier than getting another player in and they'll assume he'll still be fit and still be scoring regularly in the championship if we go down or it'll raise his fee for a championship club to buy him if we stay up. It's Ashley's NUFC to a tee.

I'd never get confused with that, essembee.

Get in!!! (The 'good and proper' bit is the icing on the cake, mind).

Gemmill's face right now looking at TP's post as though an invisible demon is wafting a particularly rancid turd under his nose.

(Open the picture up).

I've no idea, him and a few others are muted. I only found out by a couple of people mentioning it on my feed.

What's going on in the NUFC YouTube/podcast/twitter world you ask? Not much really apart from Wraith having a Q&A thing with yer man Tommy Robinson which will of course get linked to NUFC supporters because Steve Wraith's got plenty of competition these days and needs the attention.

The thick cunts never do very well on here, do they?

All he wanted to do was talk about his beloved story about a NUFC fan going to jail because of relegation, I mean isn't that what playgrounds and forums are for?

Ungrateful bastard.

Ok I'll put you out of your misery. In 2009, Bob Wisheart, a Newcastle United fan from Longbenton was that sozzled after heavily drinking on the Sunday we got relegated at Villa park that he walked into the police station that used to be in Market Street and asked to be arrested to be put out of his NUFC related misery. Unfortunately Bob being a bit pissed combined with the police having no sense of humour ended up with Bob getting arrested for assaulting an officer. He got a short custodial sentence and whilst was in prison had this encounter, I'll leave the rest in Bob's words......"On my first day in Acklington HMP all bravado from my drunken encounter had disappeared and I was genuinely shitting it. I was put in my cell whilst the other prisoners were having their dinner and told I'd have a cell mate so just hoped my cell mate wouldn't be a total psycho. Anyway after dinner the door opened and in walked a six foot by six foot tattooed fucking monster. I said 'alright?' and tried to act cool but he just glowered at me till he heard the footsteps of the screws walking away and then said in a gravelly voice, 'Do you like games?' I replied 'What?' He said again, 'Do you like games?' but a little more louder and a bit more insistent. 'err, aye, I don't mind I suppose....' Then he interrupted me, 'Let's play mammys and daddys!' It was at this point that my heart sank and I thought I was in for a total beasting before he added, 'I'll be the mammy, you be the daddy.' I then thought, ok Bob, this mightn't be as bad as it could be, let's see what happens so I said 'ok then, if you want I'll be the daddy and you'll be mammy.' He then smiled before growling at me as I tried to smile back.....'Right, now that's settled come over here and start sucking mammy's cock'.

I like dogs but there's as much chance of me starting up a 'Steve Bruce fan club' and giving new members a tin badge and signed photograph of bagpuss than there is of owning one. (Hopefully it won't shit all over your house).

Run it off you big Jessie!

"Urin? You were lucky! I used to dream of urin! Mine tasted like the fetid discharge of Uri Geller's cock."

"Newcastle must win to silence Steve Bruce's most rabid critics...."

I'm really sorry to hear that, Rents.