Howmanheyman

I've got Johnny Giles I'll remember more fondly than this fucker. Fanks for the memories, Pards!

"Ah think the new man has to be former Toon maestro, Lee 'Jigsaw' Clark, in a poll ah did earlier on outside The New Coach Inn, Cockeyed Mala said he was just the man we needed, Paul Mcdonald said could ah sub him a tenner and Betty asked if ah could pass her a beer mat over. Ah think that's a pretty conclusive vote of confidence for the Walker superstar."

Sherwood. One smarmy cockney cunt to another. It's Ashley's way.

He's out? Gone? IS IT OFFICIAL???

If you had to pick a football stadium where you'd see these selfie sticks..........

Getting rid of Pards would be a start, you just have to hope they stumble across someone better as I've no doubt they couldn't get a good manager by design.

I don't believe in anti-climaxes. But aye, I'll be stopping in.

If someone paid us to take Pardew off our hands then it would be right up there with Shepherd paying Blackburn to take Souness away from them.

http://www.croydonadvertiser.co.uk/Alan-Pardew-accept-Palace-offer-Newcastle-target/story-25775320-detail/story.html?

Funny, first I'd seen one was boxing day as well. Had pub meal with the family and saw a lass with one. Wife knew about them but I'd no idea till then. I wonder if Stevie got one?

Just to add that I always like hearing NJS take on things NUFC.

please, pretty please. Also noticed a royal fuck up the other day from our Forest loanee. Let's hope he's just getting it out of system before Pards shows him the way.

Which poster made you think the most and why? Going to go with HF as he bothers his arse to collate all the shit we know is happening but can't be arsed to categorise ourselves. Good shout about Aimaad as well and let's not forget Ken's postcards from down under and his whole take on the middle east/Shiraz problem. Which poster do you think would be good company for a pint? (that you haven't met already.) Hard to tell online sometime although it would be probably easier to say who you wouldn't want a pint with, can't say PadddockLad as I know him but anyone gets the chance to say hello to him at an away or whatever then I'd recommend that as he's a top bloke and great company, (I expect a tenner for that, Rob). Although there's loads on here I'd think would be good company I'd intrigued to see what Chez and Stevie are really like in real life. I reckon Fist is probably the most similar to me in age/married with kids etc circumstances to myself so I'd definitely steer well fucking clear of him. Which poster could start an argument in an empty house? Was reading the whole of the Lee Ryder thread the other day as recommended by the Ayotollah, (another good poster on here), and was pissing myself at the J69/Stevie/Ant argument, there's arguments with wums which don't count, and real arguments. I'd chuck in Gene as well as I once had a disagreement with him back in the mid-nineties in a fanzine, yes he was a worky fucka back then too! (but I like him). Overall good egg poster is...... Quite a few but I'm going to go with the lovely Cath and HF although again, PL did me a great favour in the championship year posting his ST up and he didn't really know me that well at the time, so him as well. Must try harder poster is...... It would be dead easy to say GoslingBeast so I will. Daddies cock is a just a young mackem knacker who doesn't know any better but I'm going to throw a spanner in the works and say Andrew could up his game a bit, decent enough kid, bright enough lad but only seems to post to correct people on something trivial or so it seems, (please, no requests to slog through the archives, it's just my perception and no, it doesn't mean I hate you, Andrew!) Trying too hard poster is........ And the winner is..........roll drums.............Fish hands down. Again, I'm going to ignore the usual knackers who are just wums. Fish is obviously a good kid, and he was trying to perk up interest on here at a quiet time but those questions were fucking relentless and he's definitely been contaminated by London football fans in a way others down there haven't. Which poster/s is missed? Would expect Gejon to be in this bit a fair bit but if I'm being honest I didn't really have much chat with him or must've missed the times when he was a main poster on here. Off the top of my head I'll go for the Grey man, MancMag or KSA. The kid from Taipei was inadvertently hilarious with his Triad/singapore girlfriend trouble. Ok, CT, you're a miss at times as well. Don't start blubbing, put the kleenex away, we still remember you! Which missing posters are no miss at all? Kevin the Kitten, the Norwegian steroid cross dresser and ASM. And that balloon from Poland Nick!!! Any highlights this year? The Ryder thread, no not just my stuff before you start!!! Everyone calling this bloke from early on as a bit of a knacker and having a laugh at his expense well before I got involved. Toontastic knows a whopper when it sees one. Any lowights? Losing Gejon and hearing about the seriousness of Stevie's condition. Put's the football into perspective and that has been an absolute abortion all year long. Most knowledgeable poster on NUFC? (There you are, Stevie) again there's loads on here, Craig when he posts, Alex, Stevie, Fist, Noelie, PaddockLad, Ayoltollah etc, loads on here but I sometimes think the older heads have the best memories/anecdotes for the nostalgic poster to read. Special mention to CT as well for all the times he trudged through the eighties and into the early nineties with Ossies Army. We salute your passion, CT!

Not copping out yet but I've stuff to do, will vote later, honest!

Which poster made you think the most and why? Which poster do you think would be good company for a pint? (that you haven't met already.) Which poster could start an argument in an empty house? Overall good egg poster is...... Must try harder poster is...... Trying too hard poster is........ Which poster/s is missed? Which missing posters are no miss at all? Any highlights this year? Any lowights? Most knowledgeable poster on NUFC? (There you are, Stevie) Answer as many or as few as you like. If you want to add a category then please do.

Get the fucka back at Palace, you know it makes sense. 10-1 :prays:

The secret diary of Lee Ryder aged 44 and a half. 27/12/2014 Thought ah'd have a bit of a catch up, diary, like a toon win and some sexual interflora, it's been a while, like. Anyways, where to start? Well, when you win prestijus, prestigias, important awards, there's only so long the club can ignore you and so it turned out. Ah was sitting in the house after a long day chasing up retro NUFC stories with Ollies little black book of desperation contacts, (Billy Askew, Bald Eagle, Quinny and McGhee keeping the Chronicle sports pages ticking over), when the phone went. Ah quickly pulled me kegs up and turned the lap top off and answered it. "Hello, Trinity Mirror Regional sports writer of the year, Ryder speaking." Ah says. "Hi Lee, It's Wendy Taylor, hope i'm not interrupting you?" Fuck me! Wendy! And she's only phoning me at home! My receding semi started perking right up at the sound of her voice! The blonde bombshell of SJP almost had my eye from Japan weeping on the spot! Ah dived straight in to the point, "Err, hello, Wendy, errr, really good to hear you, err, from you, ah was err, wondering, well just if you want to, err, ah mean it doesn't matter like, err, if you don't, ah mean, mebbee, after work we could mebbee, err....." Ah hadn't quite finished when she piped up, "Sorry to inturrupt Lee, but my boyfriends waiting for me in the club foyer, just to let you know you're allowed back to club games and events, There'll be an e-mail with details about what you can and can't report but we expect more pro-NUFC writing fom now on." Fucking shit and fucking great all at once, ah knows she's a good looking lass and will be wanted but ah'll just see how it goes if she gets sick of her lad, but putting the fanny to one side forra second, Ah'm back! Back in the groove, the one they couldn't contain or hold, ah'm back at St. James' Park, back with the CURRENT players again, the clear and present danger is back! Obviously ah have one eye on my first explosive piece post ban, it has has to be cutting for ma loyal Chronicle readers but with a nod to Wendy's instructions. Ah gets on to Jack Colback and before you can say, "Ah'm coming, Wendy!", ah have a 'Let's stick together, lads' story from the Killingworth Pirlo of Gingerness. Ah get a couple of soundbites about Pards and how much the players love him and ah end off with a 'Mike stabilising the club' piece. Obviously ah have to keep my journalistic credibility so ah mentions that Mike might not be that popular amongst certain sections of the support but the club will just have to like it or lump it, ah'm no club stooge, after all! Ah order an extra hot vindaloo pizza to celebrate and wash it down with some of Stella's finest bottles of liquid gold. Ryder is back, hello, hello!

Andy Gray "If the rest was the cake, that is the icing"

Still blaming Cabaye for leaving! And Remy who was never our player anyway but a cheaper alternative to buying a player then is amazed he fucks off like Ba did!! Wants De Jong back from injury but doesn't question buying a player on the cheap because of his injury record!

It's at the stage where I just don't want to know what the stupid cunt comes out with next, how the fucking Goons in the media who pipe up for him every time we win a couple in a row don't have the balls to look more closely at him the rest of the time is beyond me. He's as bad a manager as he was a player, utterly mediocre with a mediocre outlook on a game where positivity and confidence can help so much. This bloke is reeking the place out and wouldn't have a job anywhere else with his record. Nowhere. There's no comparison between sticking with a good manager who's having a bad run and carrying on regardless of with this chancer who just flaps his gums with any shit he can think of after a multitude of defeats, most of which are hammerings. The Knackers last derby sums the fucker up, chasing the game at 0-0, panic subs, wrong subs, wrong tactics, players who are clueless, players going backwards, panic stations, don't panic Mr Mainwaring!!!........Bang 1-0 them after they'd already missed at least two sitters. The defending yesterday was amazing, this happens all the time when he makes us 'hard to beat'. Brings Cisse and Cabella on when 3-0 down, utter, utter clown. 3-0! Don't panic Mr Mainwaring!!!! I'll put Cisse on! Fucking Clown. Never heard his patter afterwards or beforehand which is the only positive I can take out of yesterday or the derby. Absolute fucking Clown of a manager, mediocrity gone mad. Smarmy, charmless and as unsuited to what this club used to be about before the suffocating presence of the Hertfordshire Heffa bought our club. The sooner this club gets fumigated the better.

He actually typed that out to show he remembers games from the past and has the ability to type that out unlike yourself. There's a few Mags on here that are not from around the North-East and maybe aren't as disappointed as a few who are locals, but even the likes of myself, as pissed off by a fourth defeat as I am, I was not surprised and it just reinforces, ('makes stronger' in case you're not sure), my feelings on the owner and his Coach Clown, Pardew. I spent a lovely Christmas day with my Wife and children and not once did the thoughts of last Sundays derby come into my head. Hope you can say the same.

No, not all, Zanetti. Then again, they're hardly playing Chelsea or Man City, either. Boro used to beat good Man U sides now and then when the Manc reds would have the odd off day and be complacent. That is our best chance these days although boxing day has to favour the home side most times. I'd say another 3+ defeat unless Van Gaal is trying to use squad rotation through the Christmas period and the scoreline is a bit closer. We'll still lose.

I've already ordered her a nano sim online. No need to get the axe out and start chopping just yet. Made a luuuuursh dinner getting washed down with Champers. I'll do the rounds tomorrow morning to relations houses, have dinner made for me then a few aperitifs before watching Bluffers-R-us first eleven get twatted at Old Trafford.