snakehips

I'm Spartacus! I kill Romans. I don't know what football is. And I've never seen a cornetto. ps baked beans and pork sausages are lush, though

Would take toonraider most of the day. Hubba-hubba! Well tonight's meal is a hearty home made chicken bacon pie with fresh veggies and mash. Though NOT to please hubby, but because i fancied it!!! AND if he doesnt like it, he will get it in his lap!!!! Whatever! He told you that if it wasn't a proper tea today you'd get the back of his hand (although some of the filth you've told us, you'd probably be into that ). I like your bloke's style. He wouldnt DARE say that to me, he'd be too scared too Aye, right. He told you and you did what he said, in the huff. I never do what anyone says Renton, least of all hubby!!! Sooooo, if he told you to spit...........???

Would take toonraider most of the day. Hubba-hubba! Well tonight's meal is a hearty home made chicken bacon pie with fresh veggies and mash. Though NOT to please hubby, but because i fancied it!!! AND if he doesnt like it, he will get it in his lap!!!! *decides not to make poor joke about what if he fancies t/r and getting her in his lap*

My curiousity is piqued. When can you next make a piss up snakey? Look, Gemmill, you homo, I told you all that food on me t-shirt was because our washing machine had been broken for a week. Aaaaand, you promised not to tell As for the next piss-up, well, I am booked on a world-wide tour of pie making factories ( I won it with Greggs) so wont be available until the end of this month

I like them actually, but I feel dirty eating them knowing that they are full of all sorts of animal waste products. Mind, if snakehips regards pie and sausages and beans as a proper meal he has revealed himself to be a complete pleb! Better a pleb than a hom, though! Believe me, I would kill for a meal of sausage, egg, chips and beans right now.

Look, instead of making all these ridiculous statements, just come out the closet once and for all. You will be glad. 'Sausages and beans minging' - absolutely ridiculous.

If only she'd taken the salad (ie the cucumber) to bed. Everyone would have been happy Salad?? Pie and beans (with the pork sausages in) is all we fuckin' need, gals!

But your lad told us it's true that one cheek is considerably larger than the other!

There's a list of mrs hips 'moments'. Here's the latest, from around 6 weeks ago. I'm working on the outside of the house (Bloke stuff: re-pointing, painting, general maintenance) and in order to do this work I take off the bell push (wireless bell - remember this as it's important) and leave it in the porch. Mrs hips brings me a cup of tea (Wife stuff). We are chatting (can't remember what about but was probably along the lines of how great I am at everything and what a wonderful orgasm she had the night before - AS USUAL.....sorry, I digress ) For some unknown reason, as we talked, I pressed the bell push and the bell rang. Mrs Hips: "eeee (though to be fair she doesn't have any accent at all) how is that working if it's not on the wall?" You see what I have to deal with???

Brassed Off, a Classic?? The one with Ewen Macgregor (sp) in? A Classic? Ya shittin' me, right??? Mildly amusing at best. For anyone who hasn't seen it, you haven't missed anything.

now, if you want a company like that taking over the club, you really are showing your abject stupidity Sorry, like, but this is called for : Why do you feel the need to continuously insult Dan? Is it a character flaw or something you enjoy doing? Either way it's pathetic. Whether you find his posts naive, foolish, mis-placed or wrong, you have no need to continuously insult him. It seems that every time Dan posts something, you are not far behind with some inane insult. I've been on the go for 12 hours now. I'm tired and uber pissed off and reading, once again, your insult of Dan has just tipped me over the edge. Could you please just use reasoned argument with him instead of the insults??

Cath must have some alarm on her pc that goes off whenever someone uses the 'C' word! Whenever it's used she is there, not far behind, to admonish the perpertrator. Can anyone remember the scene from a tv prog/film where the bloke swears and the woman hits him for swearing, the hit is so hard he swears in pain, so she hits him again for swearing etc etc etc Cunt *slap* Ow, shit *slap* ouch fuck *slap* bastard *slap* Sorry Cath, I'm sure one day your crusade to rid the planet of that awful word will prevail.

Been racking my brains to think what I/we would like for our 25th ann. present (it's not far away). The photo frame sounds nice, along with some old pics in it. However, if my kids had spent the best part of a grand on a pressie, I would give them a fookin' slap for being so stupid. I don't want my kids spending money on me. I don't believe in this 'Father's day' rubbish so they are excused buying anything for that, and I have encouraged them to spend very little on my birthday and Christmas (I have honestly tried to stop them buying me anything, but mrs hips has told them otherwise). Anyway, the picture frame and photos sounds nice imo.

Ray Von - surely THE best dJ. SHABBAFACTILIOUS

Things looking dodgy for the snakemeister's attendance this year 16th looks like it could be booked due to a party with friends as I wont be home for Christmas/New Year. If so, never mind - I'll send a bottle for you to share; Babysham. Yum yum. Oh, and what is this 'Snake' malarkey that O/N is referring to in his details, above??? I hope no pain or suffering is involved (to the snakes, that is)

Strange how Gibson, until the end of the piece, kept referring to 'McClaren'. Little love lost? Anyway, reports of early editions of the Ronnie Gill mistakingly referring to the agent as 'Gordon the gopher' are unclear.

Of course, when I say it was in the shape of a Z, I mean as if it were hinged in two places; not that a cross-section of it would be Z shaped, as if I had an attachment from a Play Dough set shoved up me 'rusty sheriff's badge'.

I said there's nowt here for you, girls I had a tremendous shit this morning. Not been for two days (most unlike me) but today was one of those satisfying moments Anyway, it must have been - no word of a lie - at least 9 or 10 inches long! But, it was lying in the shape of a Z ! Is this a sign??? If so, what can it mean?????????? Apart from a good blow-job or a better-than-usual wank, is there anything more satisfying than a good shit? A good night on the vodka leads to a fantastic satisfying shite the morning after, I find.

We had 'Plain Geoffrey' at my nephew's bar mitzvah a few years ago. He was very good. He even played four singles back-to-back at one point and I can still recall them: Birdy Song;YMCA;The First Cut is the Deepest; Timewarp. The place was jumpin'. Glad I had a little 'something' to swallow to keep me going!

If called upon by Malcolm McClaren (oops, sorry, a bit of an Analism there!) to join the national team, Parker would certainly go with our best wishes. However, the way things go for NUFC, and the ever-dwindling squad we have to choose from, it would be just our luck if he got crocked Fingers crossed he goes, he scores, he comes home intact.

*shakes head* Sporting journalism at it's peak And they want me to buy that shite again, do they?? Not a fuckin' chance.

Best one? Dunno. One that sticks out is when myself and my good lady went to see Errol Brown a couple of years ago at City Hall You should have seen 'The Hips' moooooove, man!!! In the aisle giving it EVERYTHING When you've got it, you've got it

Always. Whether at home, work or play. And if I'm out and the method for drying is one of the aforementioned dryers, I will push the button with my elbow. Strange I know, but the thought of touching the button after some skank who hasn't washed his properly and left traces of, whatever, on the button just turns my stomach. Oh, and if I can, I avoid as much contact as possible with the door handle leaving the gents! I feel quite bilious (sp) right now. Hmmmmmmmm, maybe I need to see a shrink

Obviously hoping I'd forgotten what you promised me Oh well, I aint gonna hold you to it; though I meant it when I promised you would feel 22 again, despite feeling a little sore in places Anyway, thanks Lazarus, I/we have been on crucial.com and lined up exactly what is required. Thanks again for your help.

Jonny, 'Snake' will be gone (obliterated) by the first week in Nov. 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned' I think they say? Well, Toontastic has experienced no fury like Snakehips pissed off, I can assure you. Either 'it' goes, or I do......