Meenzer

Can't bring myself to watch it, but I'm sure my mate Eddie will be creaming himself in anticipation. This is just one wall of his living room: Boys.

At least with microwave meals you can, I don't know, add seasoning or something to try and make them taste at least vaguely like what they're meant to resemble. Bloody coffee snob and proud of it.

Why would you?

That's proper rubbish, that. Hope you move onwards and upwards (though young Brock's eggnog/urination plan sounds like a fine intermediate measure).

Well take it out again, you don't know where it's been.

Happy birthday mate

Howay, that's harsh

Aha! Glad they got the fella. I'm sure he's far from the only one, but if it makes a few people wind their neck in next time then all the better.

It's not a hard song to sing young meenzer. Just tear the neck off the cheapest bottle of scotch you can find and smoke for the duration of the performance but never actually removing the fag from your mouth. I said Nick Cave, not Tom Waits... Now that'd do it. Depends if it's before or after the speeches I guess... Fortunately I have a friend who can do the song justice, though. His voice already sounds thoroughly fucked-up without any of the actual drugginess - a gift indeed.

Might be my mind playing tricks on me, but was it you who said you'd had trouble with a bloke near you at SJP going off on a racist rant recently? And if so, it wasn't this numpty, was it? http://icnewcastle.icnetwork.co.uk/chronic...-name_page.html

I've been asked to play piano on a performance of "Into My Arms" at a friend's wedding next year. Well, they originally asked me to sing it too, but fuck that.

I've raided the shelves of the gay section at Lewisham Library again - well, it's actually a trolley that they keep moving around. Social exclusion-tastic! - so I'll be ploughing my way through Colm Tóibín's The Story Of The Night and Felice Picano's The Book Of Lies over Christmas. Picked up Nick Cave's novel too, looked like it might be worth a look.

Anyone want to offer odds on the first Yank (or Aussie) to make a stereotypical and, mercifully, largely out-of-date comment on British beer temperatures?

And then imagine being Sian Lloyd...

So that's what they mean by their "sizeable gay following".

With a foreign lass no less.

I'm heartbroken.

You know you've come up with an advertising winner when urban myths immediately spring up claiming that the star of your commercial has been bullied to death.

"Freddie? Which way Freddie? Do you have a plan Freddie?"

Yes.

A healthy dose of Rachmaninov to start the day. It's good to pretend to be cultured sometimes.

Extended till tonight apparently.

Can't think of any one moment really, but moving back to the UK and settling in has been a damn sight easier than I expected, so to that. Oh, actually, my mate Ray's wedding in the summer was a class weekend. Perfect weather, fantastic reception and all the old crowd back together in one place and causing merry havoc.

I'll be trying to persuade the Aussie to join me in a straight pub for a change.