Dr Gloom

my not important news for today: i just had a massive dump. i was fearing the worst but was delighted when all it took was two wipes. first was clean, second one confirmed the matter. always a pleasure.

he's killing the board man. are you not sick of his patter? i've got him on ignore and it's still doing my head in. the place improved tenfold when he fucked off for a couple of weeks. one good thing about our recent form is he's posting far less than he used to.

time for leaesmag to close his account on here. the man's lost all credibility with everyone. i don't think anyone would lose any sleep at all if he did finally fuck off. beyond tedious.

i always had you down for a back, sack and crack man meself like gemmil

Whether or not Demba Ba is a Magpie next season, United continue to assess possible transfer targets and have watched the progress of FC Twente striker Luuk De Jong this season with interest. The 21-year old Swiss-born striker is a current Dutch international and scored his 21st league of the season during a 2-2 draw at AZ Alkmaar on Wednesday night. An international colleague of Tim Krul, ex-De Graafschap player De Jong has scored once in his seven senior appearances for the Netherlands to date. Luuk's elder brother Siem - also a Dutch international - is at Ajax. After that game, Twente boss Steve Maclaren refused to answer media questions regarding interest in a number of his players from Premier League clubs, notably defender Douglas. The Dutch side have already agreed a deal for their Australian forward Brett Holman to join Aston Villa at the end of this season. Friday's Chronicle also speculates that United are monitoring Heerenveen centre forward Bas Dost. The 22 year-old Dutch U21 international is the leading scorer in the Eredivisie, with 25 goals in 29 league outings so far. from NUFC.com

yup. his through balls are way better than his crosses from out wide, his defensive work - particularly his harrying off the ball - is excellent plus he has the engine to be a true box to box player.

That's fair enough then. Just seems strange that on the one hand most are saying they would prefer to start Jonas or Vuckic etc yet you also agree with me that he will start the remaining games and do very well? I think this boils down to a chasm of opinion where I see him as a starter in a 433 going forward and "others" seem happy for him to be moved on in the summer, possibly being replaced by so far unproven kids. I don't recall anyone saying vuckic start ahead of Guthrie. Guthrie has done brilliantly this season but for me, when everyone's fit, he just misses out. Good first reserve option though.

Disabled people can be arseholes too. Some of the best Curb Your Enthusiasm episodes take the piss out of characters that happen to be disabled and the situations they find themselves in, though not the disability...which is where I thought Life's Too short went wrong. Not that I found LTS offensive, it just wasn't funny. curb does those things without it feeling nasty though.

Agreed. I wouldn't mind a cafu style right back that pins back left wingers and puts in good crosses. Simpson is never going to be that player in a million years. What he is, is a solid premier league full back that had been part of one of the tightest defences in the league. I'd welcome a new right back but I wouldn't be in a massive hurry to sell Simpson. He's been an ever present this season, our best for years. He's a limited player but you have to say he's done his jon well this season and earned a new deal. Same goes for Guthrie.

And don't get my started on his laugh

I've gone off Gervais since the office and extras. He's lost the art of observational comedy. All his humour now is based on making fun of people. That's all well and good when he's ridiculing himself, or celebrities, but seems bad taste when the joke's on people with disabilities.

Goldberg actually

I pm'd you a few years ago, and you didn't reply. As I said, it was a long time before you decided to start repeating for yourself what you have always said was "rubbish". Still, whatever. I don't take things on here personally on here, and I met a mate of Gary's after the match and wondered if you knew this lad. seriously, this kind of post is why i usually have you on ignore. a made up quote that you decide to attribute to me for no apparent reason. it was around the time you kept accusing me of saying 'anyone was better than fred' (i never said such a thing), that i stopped listening to you. would you engage with someone that continually accused you of saying things you never did despite never finding the evidence o back up the claim? actually, i know the answer to that, you would.

had to take you off ignore for this one leazes given my username is in the thread title. no, i'm, not marcus. my name's dan. don't know any lads called marcus or gary. though i did meet gary lineker once. you pm'd me about this before but i didn't think it was right to reply given i'm pretty sure i had you on ignore at the time.

I can't believe this weird looking alien was keeping me out of the side

fulham? i meant wigan

win this and the fulham game and it's all set up for a barnstorming end to the season, three tough fixtures to close it but what an opportunity we'd have, especially if spurs keep dropping points.

There are some on here - pud, LM et al - who seem to revel in our failures and cease to post when we're doing well. That mindset I don't understand. I'm naturally gloomy about our prospects, something fostered on years supporting and under achieving team that usually disappoints. That's reflected in pessimistic predictions. But I'll be fucked if I'm not going to admit i got it wrong and lap it up when we do well. Got to enjoy these moments as seasons like the don't come around very often.

Well Parky, I'm crediting the manager for this one. For all his obvious natural talent, Ben arfa looked lost at times earlier in the season, despite getting a run of games and him insisting he was match fit. It was all the more frustrating when knackers like obertan were keeping him out of the side. Part of that might be down to him playing a role he's more suited too now we've switched to 433. But a lot of it is down to the work he's doing when not in possession and his decision making when on the ball. There's no disputing his natural ability - that was never in question. But now he's playing the way the manager wants him to. I've been hugely impressed with pardew this season. The way he's got former donkeys like perch and Ryan Taylor playing with previously unseen positional awareness is down to his coaching. Getting a talented but volatile frenchie adapting his game to the englush system and playing for him is down to his man management. FACT.

As I was when I welcomed Hughton in the Job or when I said we'd come straight back up following relegation or when I said we'd do well our first season back or when I agreed with the decision to replace Hughton with Pardew or when I said Ashley would make the club a success or when I told NUSC to buy a pub etc etc et fucking cetra aye, you're always right aren't you?

good read that mancy old bean

Agreed. He was awful when he had the run in the team after Christmas. We've had to be patient but I don't think I ever doubted the talent was there, just the temprament wasn't. Seems to have clicked with him and we're feeling the benefit. absolutely. we all wanted ben arfa to start because we were all aware of what he was capable of. but he wasn't doing it on the pitch so pardew was right to drop him. he was giving the ball away far too cheaply, not doing enough work off the ball. now he busts a gut for the team and seems to know when to pass and when to dribble. he also seems far better off playing the more advanced role in a 433 than he did wide right in the 442. it was galling seeing him on the bench while the likes of obertan and ryan taylor started ahead oh him but i reckon pardew has played it to perfection tbh. he used the media to criticise the player to let him know when he wasn't doing it on the pitch and showering him with compliments when he got it right. he's got a supremely talented but potentially temperamental frenchie playing out of his skin in for him. kudos to rapey

CT, you're definitely in the minority regarding your views about jonas. Most of us love him - he's been one of our best players this season and is new vice captain on merit. I'd have him in the middle of midfield ahead of Guthrie too, but only just.

His views carry a lot of weight tbf

We're hardly man u though are we? This our first good season in about a decade.