Dr Gloom

well, to a point yes but we apparently had £70m to spend on Guehi so there was some money to spend. Anyway, we know how that one ended.

I don’t blame Gordon btw. It’s not his fault. He’s a winger, not a CF. It’s failure to back Howe in the last couple of windows that’s costing us. We don’t have enough depth across the front line. We’re stacked at LW but rely on two injury prone CFs with a kid in reserve who the manager doesn’t trust yet and no top class RW.

Gordon worked his arse off yesterday and pressed well but his finishing cost us two points. He has to convert one of those chances man.

in hindsight we should have tried to buy a third choice striker the manager was confident enough to use this season rather than a development player for the future. It’s a luxury we couldn’t afford when our two main strikers are injury prone. Craig Hope points out we haven’t won a game that Isak and Wilson have both missed this season. Our general play yesterday was pretty good. We were the better team and deserved to win and we probably would have if we had a finisher up front.

I found the decision to sub Barnes, our top scorer and best finisher on the pitch, and leave Murphy and Miggy on just bizarre. We were chasing a goal without a proper centre forward and he takes off our biggest goal threat. I’m sick of watching Murphy and Miggy now. The obvious weakness at RW is glaring. really hope that’s the next position we upgrade. It’s the lack of cutting edge that’s killing is. Agree about Gordon too - second year running he’s had a stinker at goodison, essentially costing us two points. His off the ball work was decent and missing a pen is one thing but I can’t believe he didn’t hit the target when he was clean through. He has to score that one. Should have won. Last week’s draw felt like a win, this one feels like a loss. The king demands a reaction against Brighton.

undefeated. You know the rules

It’ll be Sela (or inset Saudi sponsor here) St James’, I reckon

Man like Eddie shutting down talk of a move to Leazes park. I can’t imagine the club haven’t explored this option. It’s the obvious solution as far as the council is concerned because it keeps SJP in the city centre, meaning the local economy doesn’t lose out from a move to an out-of-town site. And the Saudis don’t have to spend the best part of a billion to tart up sjp while only adding another 8-10k seats. I appreciate Eddie is trying to report facts, and the people he talked to say there’s been zero contact from the club but I suspect he isn’t as informed as he makes out

well done everyone, none of you died of overnight

Title: The Battle for Toontastic Setting: A virtual forum room adorned with Newcastle United memorabilia. The characters are represented by their usernames and avatars on the screen. Characters: Gemmill: A ginger-haired "accountant" from Wideopen, Tyne and Wear. Enthusiastic and prideful, but feeling threatened. Dr Gloom: A London-based e-scooter riding hipster journalist, arrogant and self-assured. Wykiktoon: A dour Yorkshireman, sarcastic with a penchant for dark humor. Christmas Tree (CT): A lovable, slightly eccentric taxi driver from Bolden, known for his culinary quirks. Renton: The forum's resident pessimist, always ready with a grumpy remark. (Scene 1: The Toontastic Forum Room) (The screen lights up, displaying the usernames of the characters. Gemmill types furiously.) Gemmill: (typing) Well, lads, I’ve put together another match-day thread! We’re going to smash those lot from the South! (A notification pings as Dr Gloom enters the chat.) Dr Gloom: (typing) Ah, Gemmill. Nice thread, but let’s face it, my last one was a masterclass. You should bow to the king. (Wykiktoon jumps in with a sarcastic remark.) Wykiktoon: (typing) King of what, exactly? Match-day threads or hipster nonsense? Dr Gloom: (typing) Hipster nonsense is all the rage, Wyk. Can’t help it if you’re stuck in the past. Gemmill: (typing) This isn’t just about threads, Gloom. It’s about respect! The Toontastic family knows I’m the main man here! (A notification from OTF, an Australian poster.) OTF: (typing) Sorry, Gemmill. I’ve got to agree with Dr Gloom. He’s the king of match-day threads now! (Gemmill’s face turns red with frustration.) Gemmill: (typing) Usurper! This is war! (Scene 2: Gemmill’s Dilemma) (Gemmill brings in CT, his culinary confidant.) Gemmill: (typing) CT, you’ve got to help me! Dr Gloom is calling himself the king now. What can I do? (CT responds with enthusiasm.) CT: (typing) Mate, you’ve got to show them who you are! How about I whip up a feast? You can do a thread on my famous duck pizza! Gemmill: (typing) That’s brilliant! But I need something more... impactful. CT: (typing) What about a cycling hobby? Get fit and show those hipsters who’s boss! (Renton chimes in, his tone grumpy.) Renton: (typing) Cycling? Please. Humanity’s future is bleak enough without you peddling around in Lycra. (Gemmill rolls his eyes at Renton’s comment.) Gemmill: (typing) Not helping, Renton! (Scene 3: The Final Showdown) (The chat is buzzing with tension as match day approaches. Gemmill prepares his comeback.) Wykiktoon: (typing) So, what’s the plan, Gemmill? Gemmill: (typing) I’m going to put up the best match-day thread they’ve ever seen. I’ll show Dr Gloom who’s really in charge around here! (A notification from Dr Gloom pops up.) Dr Gloom: (typing) Good luck, Gemmill! Just remember, the king always reigns supreme. Gemmill: (typing) We’ll see about that! (The forum erupts in playful banter, as both sides rally for their heroes. CT decides to lighten the mood.) CT: (typing) How about I bring some of my curry to the next match? Bet you’ll be the king of the BBQ! Wykiktoon: (typing) As long as it’s not another “Bhuna Bonanza,” I’m in. (Renton rolls his eyes.) Renton: (typing) Great. Just what we need. A curry king and a hipster. (Gemmill types furiously, but a grin spreads across his face.) Gemmill: (typing) You know what? This is Toontastic. We’re all kings here! (Scene 4: The Conclusion) (The forum fills with laughter and camaraderie. Gemmill, Dr Gloom, Wykiktoon, CT, and Renton all realize that despite their rivalry, the spirit of Toontastic prevails.) Dr Gloom: (typing) Alright, Gemmill. Let’s see who really reigns supreme this match day! Gemmill: (typing) May the best thread win! (The chat closes with laughter and anticipation as the match approaches, and the camaraderie of Toontastic shines through.) (Lights fade.) End.

yeah, you definitely don't post on every match thread going

i'm the same on that point. i pretty much still dress like i did in my 20s, listen to the same music, have the same interests etc so in that sense i'm stuck in the past - i haven't adopted any age-appropriate hobbies either. a lot of people my age seem to be into gardening, golf and cycling, but i'm not interested in any of that. football has been a constant since i was a kid. i don't care as much as i did in the 80s/90s but i care more than at any point since then. the ashley era combined with the sky obsession with the "big six" etc almost turned me off but i still kind of enjoy our status as underdogs, despite having the richest owners going.

the royal masseuse is already woking on it.

shit. Hope you’re on the mend soon man. my dodgy lower back has been playing up the last couple of weeks. Not a bad one on this occasion, has been much, much worse in the past, but annoying enough to hinder pretty much everything. Getting older is a right pain in the arse, or back on my case

Yeah, is my experience too. Used to just walk in from the boozer 10 minutes before kick off with a paper ticket. Need a half hour buffer these days if you want to catch the flag display. Also the crowding around the east stand/strawberry corner has been v uncomfortable at times and almost impossible to form proper queues because the crowds are so big so people just walking to the front of a queue without realising, people who’ve been waiting ages to get in kicking off etc

Hope the wife’s okay mate and that things work out in the end. Sounds like a tough situation

I think they’ll go for 65-70k with more room for corporate hospitality than normal fans, which is better from a psr perspective (if not atmosphere) I’d like to see them do what spurs did with their stadium and build a single tier kop behind one of the goals. Make it all safe standing and hopefully it’l will generate some noise

my West Ham mate reckons they’ll be dining out on it for the next few decades given it’s the only thing he’s ever seen them win. I imagine we’d be the same if we ever win something

it's feels pretty obvious to be that it won't be a sjp rebuild. why not just be honest and say they're trying to work out here to build it?

KD has entered the chat

just get on with it and tell us where the new stadium is going to be ffs