catmag

You fucking need them with all the rain in Manchester. I'm still absolutely frozen and I've been back 8hrs.

The Grey Man sends his regards but isn't planning a Bobby Ewing style resurrection any time soon, despite knowing the coast is clear.

Birthday kisses!

Even I'm not working Christmas Day this year Or Christmas Eve, or NYE or NYD.

I came out of Trolls feeling like someone had given me IV Haribo. The bairns enjoyed it but dear god, it was sickly bright.

I love your bro, HF. One of the nicest and funniest blokes I've ever met. Give him my love

I must show that to Sammy

In that case I work with your mate's sister-in-law.

mid-life crisis tbh

I thought you knew me better than that

One particularly spectacularly vile specimen followed me out of the hospital this morning and staggered over to me whilst I was waiting for my lift. He'd clearly pissed himself about 8 hours earlier, had been bleeding from his head at some point, was still steaming drunk and stunk like a dead rat. He got a little bit too close, asked if I had any tabs, asked if he could have a lift and fell on the floor. Security swiftly came and saved me and he was escorted elsewhere.

A&E was like some kind of dosshouse for pissheads and knobends last night. Ridiculous.

Have yourselves an extra hour in bed tonight, kiddos. I'll be working 1-2am twice and then spending the rest of the night watching the clocks spin around trying to catch up with themselves like we're in some kind of horror film. Enjoy.

You're welcome

I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage. The zoo keeper told me it was bread in captivity...

I'll do my best. I suspect he browses from time to time like..

Too busy taking over the world, one 5-a-side footy pitch at a time. Whenever he's up north I get him very drunk and make him post on here, but he generally just suggests he's at my house watching my porn collection (which doesn't exist!) He's alive, well, and remains the funniest poster on here, despite not posting

Not a holiday, but I do have a little mini-break to The Land of The Mancs next month and a hot date to the theatre (dahhhling) with a local fella who remains as mental as ever.

Bet you don't get the ham and pease pudding ones over there though

Whenever we go and stay with my auntie and uncle in Spain we have to purchase Greggs sausage rolls from the airport and take them over. You can take the people out of South Shields....

Love that show. The first episode in New York with Katherine Ryan was brilliant.

When they say 'vinyl records' I'm guessing that Vanilla Ice: To The Extreme and Five Star: Silk & Steel don't count? Or do they? And surely everyone has coasters??

That's brilliant

trooper - keep a record of any altercations that occur between your son and this kid. Dates, times, locations and details; whether it be verbal, physical or via text/social media. If your son is marked/bruised/cut in any way then take photos. If you have recorded evidence of a continuing harassment then the police/school HAVE to act and it's far more likely that you'll get a permanent resolution. Obviously it's tempting to go down the retaliation route, but then he puts himself at risk and the arsehole who is actually responsible will end up the winner overall. Good luck with it all.

It must have been genuinely confusing and a bit terrifying.