catmag

Anyone been to Eshott Heugh animal park?

Stop it!

Wyn follows me on Twitter

Okay, who are you? What have you done with HMHMHMHM, and what more did he offer you to say that?

CT man, he's got a pacemaker! Can you imagine him in a field full of metal detectors ffs - he'd be convulsing on the ground within minutes And not with excitement.

I trust you retained custody of the cleaner?

A 20-year old man has been charged with 'child destruction' - what a horrible, horrible phrase The young lass is critical in intensive care. Just unfathomable.

For the record, I also know a fair few people who work in the city. All of them are Southern, middle-class wankers. If Fish's experience of them is different then so be it. I'm sure that statistically, working-class Northerners are a minority in that world.

I like him much more in recent years. His breakfast show is our entertainment of choice in a morning and will be interesting today!

Ohhhh you were doing so well!

People are allowed to change their mind. I think he's the only person that could replace Clarkson, and it'll freshen it up no end. Maybe they'll get back to looking at cars instead of making horribly contrived films.

The Fish knows better than to try and go after me

Chris Evans confirmed as new host of Top Gear.

I haven't called him a c**t yet though.

No shit. And here's me thinking I'd apply for the next city job advertised.

I have been to 5 continents though

Yep, and I went to a ghaaaastly comprehensive school!

Hush now, and peel me a grape - there's a good boy..

So am I

You're such a knob.

Seriously, pack it in and take it to PM ffs.

I was hoping to sleep on the train but there's a screaming child 2 seats down.

Ugh

I think I might be drunk. It's Sammy's fault and we're shit at pub quizzes...