catmag

The fake hair thing man! What was that about and how did he keep in in place??

There are no words.

I don't mind watching Tsonga actually Yes, he's got a huge serve but he moves around well for a huge bloke and has some pretty nifty touches aswell. I found Sampras to be unwatchable, personally - bored me senseless. Much preferred Agassi, who at least showed a bit of emotion when he played. I find Federer and Djokovic to be as robotic as the Roomba.

Sampras played like that the whole of his career. It's not a new thing.

Hills always has amazing, spot-on rants. The Putin ones are spectacular

My friends were flown home yesterday and this is what he said.. " I hate to say it but Sky News have painted the most accurate picture. What we saw was the gunman walking (I initially thought he was running but my memory was jogged) on the beach past our hotel. I saw another man with a pistol that turns out to be security who's guns didn't work. There were many local people following him on the beach unharmed as he was only after tourists. When we fled our room due to gunshots that sounded very close, he was on the road alongside us having tiles thrown at him from above and spraying gunfire at the police and the man on the roof who threw the tiles. Then he was killed by them on the side road adjacent and just along from where we were. The people who say he was in our hotel are mistaken. We saw him on the beach walk past our hotel, he then was alongside our hotel, he never got on site."

You kidding? You've missed his numerous references to Sunday dinner needing at least 2 types of potatoes on it?

The 6-year old who is more sensible that I've ever been or will ever be. We were out in the middle of Newcastle tonight at a family friend's party. At about 10pm he gave a huge audible sigh and said "Mammy, It's time for ET to go home..." This is along with recent pearls of wisdom which includes "That rollercoaster is a little bit too fast, too dangerous and I was worried. I don't think you should go on any more..." By the time he's 16 I'm not going to be allowed out of the house and wouldn't dare come home late. Really not sure where I got him from...

My friend is on holiday there and saw/heard this from his hotel balcony. The police shot one of the terrorists dead outside of his hotel reception. They're safe but shaken.

On another Twitter note, Aldo Zilli has just started following me too. Random.

It always strikes me at funerals that people never get to see or hear the number of people/lovely things that attend/are said about them. Shame we don't do more of it for the people we care about whilst they're here to hear it. RIP Ray

Flights to my auntie's house in southern Spain, paid for by my parents on condition that my dad come with me and the bairn. As Grandda Les is the best company we could ever wish for, I begrudgingly accepted

Oh well now I feel special!!

I'll take pet as long as he uses what brain he's got left!

Stevie, you can't accuse people of "that" on a public forum when you've named them (or 'outed' them, if you prefer!) Which is why I've altered your post slightly. Can do without getting shut down and that.

I've had the same problem. The bairn is going there for his school trip and keeps asking me "What's it called again?" I keep saying "Eeeeshot hewwwwww" like some kind of deranged mackem. Which I'm not, before anyone fucking starts

Anyone been to Eshott Heugh animal park?

Stop it!

Wyn follows me on Twitter

Okay, who are you? What have you done with HMHMHMHM, and what more did he offer you to say that?

CT man, he's got a pacemaker! Can you imagine him in a field full of metal detectors ffs - he'd be convulsing on the ground within minutes And not with excitement.

I trust you retained custody of the cleaner?

A 20-year old man has been charged with 'child destruction' - what a horrible, horrible phrase The young lass is critical in intensive care. Just unfathomable.

For the record, I also know a fair few people who work in the city. All of them are Southern, middle-class wankers. If Fish's experience of them is different then so be it. I'm sure that statistically, working-class Northerners are a minority in that world.