thebrokendoll

very first time I took mrs brokendoll to the northumberland coast we walked from craster to dunstanburgh castle, it was febuary, one of her first comments was that she didnt even believe it was possible for a wind to be that 'bracing' (or words to that effect) in fairness to her I'd forgotten meself, however it very, very fucking quickly became apparent again! beautiful walk mind.

if i got locked up on a greek island i reckon i'd want that keeley hawes out the durrells to be me lawyer.

been going for ever billy shiels! it's all about the birds for me mr fist, a trip to the farnes isn't complete without the hilarious sight of a crazed arctic tern drawing blood from the head of the unsuspecting! i'm surprised the boats are sailing, i looked in to the boat trips from bridlington which sail along the bottom of the cliffs at bempton and chuck fish guts etc over the side for the gannets to dive for. think that was june (ish) and a non starter. just in case anybody's remotely interested in that sort of thing, bempton cliffs are truly a must see, hear and smell in the breeding season, good head for heights required mind, it's like the world really is flat and you've just arrived at the end of it!

are the farnes boat trips operating during these unprecedented times? as the resident bill oddie, I'd advise against going there now anyway, too late in the year, vast majority of the seabirds will have already fucked off by now. may, june and july are best months to catch the farnes in their glory.

@sammynb nice bikes! had a guitar briefly when I was a kid, there's only so many times you can badly play the first few notes of smoke on the water before it gets a bit tedious, or that's what I found anyway! that said I've always fancied making one, must be immensely satisfying playing something you've made, with the exception of deep purple stuff!

aye, you're right and in reality i don't doubt you. here's a little tip for you then matey.... stop being a cunt on the internet yourself, it's not that difficult.

nice! ..... very nice! i've got an original '93 fireblade in the garage with the twin round headlights and all the holes drilled in the front of the fairing. it's never seen the light of day (or been started up) since september 2011. had a proper look at it the other day and reckon it wont take too much to resurrect it. carbs are gonna need a proper sort out as the throttle won't turn, it's not the cable. petrol in the tank has completely evaporated but there's very little corrosion in it. think it probably bottomed out in value at £1500 but know they're becoming very collectable, won't need much investment to make it at least a £4k bike and rising. also.... buried beneath a load of old sacks in the garage i've got a '83 mtx 125 i restored about 10 years ago, last saw the light of day in 2012 in the mountains near plitvice lakes in croatia, reckon a new battery will get it going!

what an utter fucking knob he is! the only games i missed throughout my entire teenage years during the 70s on the leazes end up until it was pulled down, was when i was going to the attendnace centre on wingrove road on a saturday afternoon.... for being a naughty boy on the leazes end!

the only time you've been in the leazes end was after it was pulled down and used as the away end. hope you enjoyed beardsley's hatrick, you fucking mackem cunt.

had completely forgotten this '04 honda cr85 existed. was a bike my son bought and ran into the ground and had been dumped in the shed at the bottom of the garden about 4 years ago. the ivy had overgrown it and the roof collapsed on the bloody thing so it took some pulling out! anyway, in a futile attempt to curb me alcohol consumption during lockdown i decided to bring it back to life. about £300 and several months later it's had new piston and ring, new bearings on crank, throughout gearbox and waterpump, all engine seals. new sprockets and chain, new swinging arm bushes, new wheel bearings and seals, new fork seals and oil and new brake fluid.... oh and most important of all... the grotesque 'ashley' graphics on the side panels have gone! it started 3rd kick and sounds like a fucking demented wasp! might need a bit of fine tuning on the carb, once i can get it somewhere to ride it. it's got fun written all over it i reckon! next project... design and make a frame to mount it on the back doors of the van!

you're still a tad upset that ewerk gave you an absolute cyber howking the other day aren't you? you need to move on from it ugly mackem.

wont make double figure league goals between them.

so it's back on then? get in there! not only that, if we pray for a psg victory in the champions league we'll probably sign messi in january. fucking great this. https://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/premier-league/newcastle-united-news-takeover-latest-staveley-ashley-pif-today-a9680141.html

aye, the clachaig was superb, (my incorrect spelling 'clashaig' is probably the old punk in me!) their range of ciders without doubt the envy of many, many west country pubs to be honest! enjoy your holiday mate, hope it goes by insect free! dunno if you've been to the area round ardfern on loch craignish? truly stunning, there's a cracking inn with accommodation called the galley of lorne should you wish to avoid tents and campervans etc!

i feel her pain mate, i really do!

absolutely cracking album by youth and gaudi called 'astronaut alchemists remixes' remember youth as the bassist with killing joke and his progression in to the dance music scene in the late 80's, hat doffed the bloke's had some career! gaudi i first encountered at the chill out stage at the glade festival 2004ish, hat doffed to this incredibly talented italian too! just one of many stand out tracks from the album.......

as a slight aside to midges and concerning talybont reservoir in the brecons.... once arrived in our favourite spot by driving down the single track road which goes down the dam and on to the taff trail to notice it was alive with migrating toads, fucking hundreds and hundreds of the bloody things, some of them in mid copulation. tragically i counted at least 50 the next morning which had become victim to the wheels of a 3.5t lwb sprinter. i think this may well be why i'm being continiously subjected to biblical like plagues of vengeful wildlife.

no mate, that's simply not true. they live in the brecon beacons. I've had many an otherwise tranquil summers evening by the idyllic talybont reservoir marred by the little monsters. not only that, there's now about 30 of the most evil northumbrian ones living in cheltenham, stowaways in the back of the van. this despite me putting a sign on the doorway saying 'no unauthorised midges beyond this point' cunts.

aye ta. just beware of northumberian insects armed with either cattle prods or stanley knives!

just got back from a bit of a whirlwind wild camping tour of mostly the west side of the uk, here's a report.... lake vyrnwy on the south east edge of the snowdonia national park, stunningly beautiful, welsh midges weren't so plentiful possibly because an almighty storm might have had an adverse effect on their numbers..... mildly irritating but tolerable. troutbeck in the lake district. on the edge of forestry commission plantation with a lot of streams and reed beds. colossal thunder storm on the monday night might've electrocuted some of the little fuckers as like in wales their numbers were limited..... cumbrian midges were liveable with. powfoot, dumfries and galloway on the solway firth..... bizarre, no sign whatsoever of the fabled scotttish midge. argyll and bute. craignish point near ardfern overlooking the isles of scarba and jura. 3 days of unbroken sunshine in quite possibly one of the most stunning, mystical places on the planet. every evening we'd walk down to the end of the disused aird jetty to watch the sunset behind scarba, every time we'd be attacked by swarms of the evil little bastards..... merciless, horrible little cunts. glencoe. day time walk up the pap of glencoe, stunning scenery with little to no midge activity, early evening pints of cider fermented in whisky barrels in the superb clashaig inn, still surprisingly little midge activity. moved on to our only campsite of the holiday, the superbly situated red squirrel, every fucking midge in the western highlands descended on it at 8.45pm.... utter, utter bastards, not even a bonfire like campfire deterred them. went to bed at 10pm, completely defeated. somewhere in the kielder forest, can't remember where, don't want to know, never going back. stopped at jedburgh for some provisions and then found a lovely little secluded car park come picnic area for the night..... hell on earth, these were more like some kind of demonic spawn of hornets and horse flies. quite comfortably the most evil little bastards ever to take wing. the wife was supposed to be doing the kielder forest marathon in a month or so, pleased it's been cancelled!

definitely what i heard.

that her mother shagged a giraffe?

aye, as is his wife. their children are grotesquely repulsive. the entire family are to be avoided at all costs.

ah right. so he's somebody who sympathises with people who sympathise with paeodophiles? sounds a right charmer.

remember singing the praises of this cunt? you fucking repulsive paedophile loving peice of human scum.....