Ayatollah Hermione

Can confirm that Tinder is canny class but is also a real rollercoaster when a top notch bit of skirt matches with you and quickly unmatches and you realise that it was obviously a mistake and your very face repulses them. Never happened to me, obviously

Didn’t even think about how what I had described was basically just pharmacies It’s been a long week at work, let me off

Carver lined up with a crippled Ryan Taylor and Colback once. That has to be up there

Would have that Cooper in a flash as well tbh. Does wonders at bringing players on.

Might get that pair of Rod Flanders or whatever they were called on sale. What else am I going to spend money on?

Far be it from me to doubt their vast experience but wouldn’t it be easier to have more, smaller vaccination centres around local areas rather than huge ones. Granted, if they hadn’t slashed and burned the NHS for a decade, they’d have more people qualified and trained to vaccinate people but still. Or even the Vaccine Mobile. It can come round your estate like an ice cream man.

I agree but his teams tend to have some form of attacking fluency, at least. No chance I’d put him in charge of spending money though.

Setting our sights to Bournemouth’s season where they finished 9th or something Could knock me down with a feather

Feels like it's been coming for years, they're unhinged.

Sign him up, Charnley.

Well, they shouldn’t be allowed to enjoy life when it returns back to any sort of normality. I’d suggest making it a mandatory jab since, as someone said, stupidity has reigned for far too long now. This needs to be the first step in stopping it

I only turned 30 in August, you bandit. I’m practically a youth team player in comparison

I’m sorry, like but I’m not sure how playing in a team that would demand him to be better on the ball would help him.

For value for money, he has to be the worst, surely? Makes Thauvin look like a bargain

Sounds a bit like Henri Saivet

If his football coach when he was 8 couldn’t sort his first touch, that lot couldn’t now he’s 24

Wor lass is getting her first dose tomorrow too, Alex. Of the vaccine, I mean. I think it’s disgraceful that we’re not allowed to be +1s tbh. It’s a minor miracle we haven’t had an outbreak but I genuinely think it may be because the shutter doors are constantly opening and closing, recirculating the air. That might be a massive factor in helping indoor areas if my theory is right.

One is a drum roll and the other is something you should never do when supervising at the Paralympics

I’m 30, with no underlying conditions (I hope) so I’m basically resigned to never getting one

Lockdown 2.0, baby. Anybody got a job they can give me to sit on my arse in the house and pretend I’m busy?

I see it’s our fault again. Do this lot take responsibility for anything?

Sure this kid died 6 months ago and I used "You'll Never Croak Alone" then

Strange how Lampard’s one season of not getting Derby promoted hasn’t made him ready for the Chelsea job.

Some of the touches here fuck me

High line against Vardy RIP