Ayatollah Hermione

Trippier hasn’t been the same since he had the Barney with that fan. Can easily see Wilson getting his nose put out with Howe telling him he’s away though. Seems like the kind of player who is adamant he can still be the main man while his body is crumbling

If we could get Archie Gray and even loan him back for a season, that would be a cracking deal

1990 gets Margot Robbie Eiza Gonzalez Jennifer Lawrence Hard lines everyone else

Us to win and then Man United to somehow fluke the cup, rendering our efforts pointless

Sign that kid from Valencia and let them have a good old fashioned “battle for Number 1” A number that neither will have on

I think Gillett is shit across the board but when you see his name on the VAR, you may as well brace for bullshit

With Trippier, I’m hoping that a summer break (I’m not sure he goes to the Euros tbh. Maybe as emergency left back) can help him. Fresh start next season but he needs to know, in no uncertain terms, that Livramento is hot on his heels if he has a run of bad form

Not sure we can expect much out of Bournemouth at Chelsea but Brighton host Man United and they’re more than capable of beating them. We should beat a Brentford side that’s on the beach, even accounting for it being their last home game of the season. It’s imperative that we have Pope, Joelinton and Schar though. They’re big dirty fuckers

Poor performance with some clearly unfit lads out there but we were a Fanny hair away with Miggy’s chance and denied a blatant penalty. This is why they’re where they are, that baldy knacker has made living dangerously a tactic

Might need to ease off on the predictions through that week, please. You’re becoming a net negative with them

What the fuck is that, Dubravka?!

Stays like this and Casemiro can spend his bonus on some more Botox, the David Gest looking cunt

How many times have these cunts been unmarked in that position?!

Might want to stop this lot liberally hacking at Gordon’s ankles @referee

It’s also nailed on that they didn’t even look at Amrabat when they did look

Also, this is exactly why VAR needs to go away for, at least, a few seasons while we do something about the standard of officiating and even the rules themselves. Fancy going to work in the VAR booth, just hours after clubs are about to vote to get rid of it, and serving this shit sandwich up

I do hope that there’s some half time changes. A half time bollocking is not going to help Anderson out here when he looks a bit out of his depth

They gave it the sanctioned 3 second glance that they give to all Man United decisions

Murphy is fucking shit like. Had all day and he passes it straight to a red shirt

Casemiro an absolute donkey until we come to town. Sounds about right

Trippier is nowhere near fit

Can someone tell Murphy the warm-up has finished?

this build-up. Man U are shit these days so here’s a constant deluge of when they were good

Couldn’t believe when I seen that line-up in what world is Andy Cole giving a Newcastle viewpoint these days?

Two games left so everyone with niggling injuries is on the tramadol for the next week. Play through it with tramadol power!