Ayatollah Hermione

Has Dr Fuentes taken his inhalers to Gibraltar?

I’m not sure Southgate has ever fully fancied Grealish tbh and he’s now got good reason not to take him. Surprised with no Maguire but you suspect that’ll be the end of his international career now. All in all, the squad is as expected; chocka with attacking talent and very threadbare with quality at the back. You’re going to need an unbelievable tournament from Pickford, Stones and Walker to win it. Probably from Rice as well since he’s going to be going backwards more than forwards

This campaign and this sportswear is absolutely going to make us the football top of choice for Italian and French trendy lads playing five a side. I’m going to do my bit for FFP by buying fucking loads of it

Can any readers top that anecdote?

Kos was fucking mental when I went in June a couple of years ago. If I had your complexion, I’d just walk around inside a portable radiation shield

Sounds about right for that bread and butter sandwich of a man.

I’d have paid money to see our solicitors face when I insisted on sending £1 first to make sure it was all legit. Call it revenge for taking 2 weeks to send out physical copies of what we needed to sign

Eales has been stirring the pot with this since he got in the job tbh. Just so happens that Man City have stuck the knife in first

Better get over the hill Depay in then

Not a chance Gordon doesn’t go IMO. Eze won’t make it. Him, Konsa, Dunk, Watkins, Quansah and Trafford all stay behind and then take your pick from a few more for the 7th

England have been desperate here. Southgate won’t even consider taking any kind of attacking risk in a friendly against Bosnia ffs. Right back in midfield, centre half at right back and a right back at left back. With Gallagher in there to keep it tight

Sure it’ll be canny when it’s sorted but I’m not doing it again in a hurry

As of Friday, I’m officially a homeowner and, if waving goodbye to 80% of my savings wasn’t bad enough, the other 20% is now going on decor and homeware while I accumulate debt by placing all the really expensive stuff on a 0% credit card. Wish someone could remind me why this is such a great idea? Haven’t met the neighbours yet but if they’re cunts, I’m selling it immediately and living in a yurt somewhere

Like how he’s just heard “6th Avenue” in a film or something and decided to set his tall tale there

The meltdown when they flog him for £2 million and not the £25 million that the fans think he’s worth is going to be incredible.

3 days a week? Get me in if it’s not shite

He’s definitely trying to lose this, like. I’m not a conspiratorial nut in the slightest but fucking hell, there’s not this much incompetence to go around. Hopefully he burns the party to the ground with him

Should have driven her home bollock naked. That’s a real power move

It’s always a good idea for someone else’s kids

Apparently he was well impressed by Howe and the ambition of the club in the next couple of seasons so fingers crossed that’s more appealing than a slightly bigger wage packet and playing for 3 different managers a season

I reckon we could shuffle the deck quite a bit and come out stronger. Wouldn’t be surprised to see Pope away if we get that Valencia keeper. With a new second choice plucked from a team within the league with us

Commercial side is going to get a boost with extra sponsorship anyway and I have a feeling we’ll get decent fees for Wilson, Almiron and Trippier in the summer as well

Just about sums the season up really. Nothing has went our way all fucking year. Glad to see the back of it. Hopefully it doesn’t affect the transfer plans and hopefully Bruno is confident enough in what we can do next year to stick about

Bruno is far too ADHD to play in this Man City team. He’ll go mental

Not sure that the Conference League will have much say in attracting players but it would have been nice. Knowing Man City, they’ll torpedo our plans and then unsettle Bruno next week