acrossthepond

He opined via PM that the world would be better off if I died from COVID-19. This was shortly after I pulled him up on a dodgy semicolon. The man's a nutter, crazier than a loon.

Missed this as I was busily supervising a 12-0 loss in the school league I coach. Couldn't care less.

Come back! We haven't discussed magness yet!

Extra game as well for that strop he just threw. See you next tuesday you utter, utter wanker.

Get the fuck off!

How about a third yellow for that shirt pull as well? Not asking for much here, just a bit of consistency.

Shirt colour rule. That was a certain second yellow if he'd been in any of the non-approved colours.

The fact that they resorted to cheap fouls and time-wasting (and that the ground was silent as a library) gives proof of our progress. We'll get there. On to the victims next week.

Mac Allister was just sent off for that tackle earlier, Gordon's a lucky boy.

It'd be a bit harder to source bacon though.

Very special experience, I screamed myself hoarse at the end. It was a little disheartening to see us a) playing crap in the first half and b) missing so many first-teamers, but things improved a lot once Brighton took off much of their much-stronger starting XI and our kids grew into the game. Barnes looked quite good though he should've scored in the first half. I don't know if we were under explicit instructions to play out the back, but the regularity with which we screwed it up in the first half was alarming (understandable maybe considering Dummett and Lascelles were playing.) Murphy barely touched the ball in the first half, I wouldn't have known he was playing if I hadn't seen his name on the lineup, but he definitely made an impression in the second. The atmosphere was a little flat considering how non-partisan the crowd was, though our lads in the designated NUFC sections made noise all game long. Some of the biggest cheers were for Caicedo and Estupinan, who were supported by hordes of Ecuadorian fans in yellow, almost as if there were a third team playing. The worst part was having to listen to a typical yankee doodle dumbass sat next to me, purportedly an Arsenal fan, who knew everything and nothing about football. The stadium also played the Blaydon Races at the end as we were filtering out, which was a nice touch.

Heading to the match now, absolutely buzzing. Can’t wait to give that lovely “fight and win!” ditty recommended by HMHM an airing, so be sure to listen for it.

I'll also be there, can't wait. It'll only be my second time seeing the mighty mags in person. First, a friendly at Hartlepool years ago, where I was treated to the likes of Marveaux, Amalfitano, and chants of "the referee's a seal!" I think the second will be a rather more exciting affair.

Give over you Cretaceous cretin, it's called excitement. Not all of us remember the FA cup wins. Hell, some of us don't even remember KK the first time round. This is new ground, it's all right to go a little crazy about the next top player the internet says we're signing that nee fucker's ever heard of. Sorry if you had your sense of wonder surgically removed after D-Day.

Dubravka, Lascelles, ASM, Lewis, Krafth, Fraser, Darlow, Hayden, Hendrick hopefully all to go as well. Most of the Ashley/Bruce-era crap will be flushed at that point and we can focus on building a squad capable of competing domestically and in Europe. The only one out of that lot I'll feel any attachment to is Dubravka, but I lost most of my respect for him after he took the huff and fucked off to sit on Man U's bench instead of ours. The rest are all varying degrees of rubbish that needs taking out.

Oh, like the Newcastle that finished above them despite losing to them twice? That calibre? How dogshit must they be then, the red happy clappy fake teeth Coutinho money wankers?

But it's got nothing on this one coming up.

Aston Villa, fucking great team. Never said a bad word about them, me.

They know jerking off doesn't count, right? EDIT: Though it would explain the Liverpool and Arsenal fans, they're definitely wankers.

Absolutely wretched. Late with every pass, late to every tackle. Diabolical.

Pope should never have allowed that, that was absolute rubbish. Jammy fucking goal for the jammiest team south of Liverpool. Fuck off.

I know we're partisan but you have to say that wasn't a penalty. Let's be honest with ourselves.

Beat Lee today and he'll beat Cisse and Solano by the end of the season, Beardsley by next. His performances give the lie to that absolute bullshit peddled by Ashley and his apologists about wiping our noses and resale value or whatever bollocks. There were quality players available for reasonable fees. It wasn't rocket science, and it also wasn't only achievable by "sovereign states" (c) some asshole. Wilson cost 20m. When you think about what that gets you in the PL these days it was an absolute snip, and we paid well over that trying to find bargain basement deals for some of the absolute losers I mentioned in my post above.

That's the CL wrapped up I reckon, nobody will catch us now and we'll still obtain more points before the season's end. Off you go Spitfire lads, enjoy the Mackems, I don't fancy their tip is quite as a good an away trip.

Wilson is going to want to prove a point. Give him the ball and he'll score.