acrossthepond

That finish. Jigsaw at it again.

More atmosphere at 40,000 feet. Those cat eyes look like something out of a Monster commercial as well, as Gandaft had anything to say about his competitors?

Football lost.

If a team this flat and unimpressive wins the PL, let alone the mythic, godlike never before attempted divine right quadruple, it'll be a travesty.

Here comes the messiah, the world's best club player ever in history, the greatest African ever to live, Mandela's anointed.

It really is dire playing these, the stifling, yawn-inducing pressing, the flagrant ref bias in their favor, and the all-day all-night wankfest from the commentary team every time one of them controls a ball. That's before even getting into having to look at Klopp's grizzled becapped beaming intensity and passion or whatever the fuck.

BIG JOE HAT-TRICK? Is it possible? p.s. Fuck me, Murphy can't shoot for toffee.

Get the fuck in! Let's be 'avin' yes Big Joe!

I'd love to be wrong as well.

Spicy this morning. I would love to have your confidence but that forward line is more of a

Reminds me of the Cambridge game, and that was indeed horrifying. Of course Bruno, Burn and Targett are in now so it'll be much more solid than that joke of a game, but the front line is too similar for my tastes.

Horrifying lineup - btw to all complainers about the Wood signing, that's what we'd have been playing for the last 15 games if we hadn't signed him.

Trippier for me. Ridiculous as it may seem to vote for someone who only appeared 5 times, he took a punt on us when we were at our lowest, opened the floodgates for more signings, and scored two big goals. Won us points on his own when we were circling the drain. If he never plays again in black and white he'll still be a hero because of the role he played this season.

Credit to Howe for resisting the temptation to break up a winning setup and simply throw our new world-class midfielder into the first team once the transfer window closed. He bided his time, introduced Bruno slowly, and once the time was right he's given the lad his chance and Bruno has more than taken it.

Get in! And do one you brainless referee.

If they don't give that we may as well pack VAR in altogether.

Billy-no-mates bumped into him when Defoe was taking his recycling into the Tesco parking lot around 5pm that day and he scarpered quick. Gandaft: "All right Jermain lad? How's playing for the mighty red and whites?" JD: "Well..." Gandaft: "I'm coming in with a big bid, any day now, major foreign investors backing me, Jermain. Can't name them but one starts with 'A' and ends in 'Mazon'. JD: "Right Billy, if I could just get to the glass and plastic--" Gandaft: "What're you on at Sunderland? Can't be too much, right? What, er, 10k a week? Five? Maybe we can renegotiate that once I've bought the club. You ever heard of Rich Energy?" JD: "Fuck's sake, I've got to get out of this shithole." Gandaft: "Where are you going Jermain, we've not taken a selfie yet? (shouting) Hashtag entrepreneur!"

Salah makes us a worse team because everyone else expects him to produce miracles, including the parade of donkeys that we have employed as coaches over the past decade. Everyone works less hard when he's around, thinking the Liverpool star and Golden Boot winner can surely handle a few African defenders. As for Salah himself, he's used to profiting from gilt-edged chances produced for him by his world-class teammates and doesn't much fancy putting in the hard graft required to find space when being double-marked by defenders who have watched him play every Saturday for years. Basically, he can't do it on a hot Tuesday night in Dakar. European ties alongside Mane and TAA? Absolutely. Burkina Faso alongside Mustafa Mohamed (two-first-name-having motherfucker) and Omar Marmoush? Not so much.

Oh look, a shitty Egypt side went to penalties against Senegal again and lost. What a fucking surprise. Salah muffed the fuck out of his as well, lasers or not. We've not won a damn thing since he emerged and we'll not accomplish anything until he's retired. He drags the entire side down, makes everyone else around him a worse player. I'm growing to loathe the sight of him in an Egypt shirt. Anyway, it's just as well, we were the worst team at the 2018 WC and we'd have been the worst in 2022 as well - bar maybe Qatar themselves - had we qualified.

Richarlison must be one of the most unlikeable smarmy little dickheads in the Premier League.

And you would be wrong. Saints' average league finish since 1992: 16.6 (I checked again and it's even lower as I forgot you were in Division 3 for a while. But you did win the Football League Trophy while you were down there, so congratulations, you've got that in common with the mutants down the road.) NUFC average league finish since 1992: 11.2 Saints' appearances in European football since 1992: 1 UEFA Cup quarter-final, 1 lost Europa League play-off and 1 Europa League group stage exit NUFC appearances in European football since 1992: 6 UEFA Cup runs including a semi-final, 3 Champions League qualifications, 1 Europa League quarter-final The only metrics in which you've "enjoyed more success" than us in the past 30 years are the number of times you've conceded 9 goals, the number of gel breaks your fraud of a manager has your lot take, and the number of seasons you've spent in League One.

I think Wyss outright said he was offered the club, so that's not just lazy journos. He could still be lying but why?

I was actually going to purchase this tonight and give it a go over the weekend but the truly horrifying flood of negative Steam reviews has put me right off. Souls games and stuttering DO NOT mix, I'll wait until the optimization patches inevitably come out.

Good result, 5 clear of Norwich. Need Steeeevie Geeee's past and present sides to trounce Norwich and Watford and I'd say we're halfway there.