Gemmill

What did the Mexican say when his house fell on him? Get off me, homes!

who've you got?

Debbie Does Made Up Paraphrasing.

Neither did you, you paisley mingebag!

Listen, I fucking hate the bloke. I want him to fuck off so I can start watching games hoping he injures himself, but I think we've set our stall out that he's staying and I don't see that changing this window.

There isn't because Mitchell left in June. Keep up, dipshit!

Get ready for some exploding fistbumps coming your way soon. You earned them, BUDDY!

Because he still thinks he can force his move if he tells us I'm not playing for the club ever again. The only way to know if he's right is by sticking to his guns until the bitter end. He thinks we'll blink first.

Exactly right. I don't know why we even tried to open discussions with him this week. He's already skipped two massive games and countless training sessions. Why would he back down with one game and a handful or training sessions left to miss? It would be idiotic for him to suddenly get back in line before the window closes. I think he stays.

That is not a situation that will unfold. We'll sign one of JSL or Wissa, probably JSL, and if Isak isn't around or won't reintegrate, we'll use Elanga and Gordon as backups, with Osula as a third option. We aren't going to compound a terrible set of circumstances by overpaying for TWO strikers when we can just overpay for one.

Because Howe doesn't consider either of those players as Isak level. We put the statement out last weeknsaying we don't see Isak leaving, and Howe was then very pointed in his press conference comments that "we need to replace Callum Wilson", and that's what JSL is about. The circumstances for us signing one striker are uniquely bad at the minute, so why would we double our woes by trying to sign two?

Basically, picture the worst possible scenario that could happen. That's what Debbie McDowner thinks will happen. I don't know how you get out of bed in the morning ffs.

If he goes, it'll be because we've reasoned that the relationship is completely irrecoverable, based on conversations we've had with him. But we're still not going to sign JSL and Wissa. I think we sign one, and Isak stays is the current position of the club. It certainly is based on the public statement they made last week.

I mean, you do if you want us to be any good. Obviously in the short term he is going to be first choice, and that's fine. But we're a Champions League team now, we're not in the business of buying fucking knackers.

We're not trying to sign them both. It's one or the other, it always has been.

I don't think this puts us in any sort of PSR bother. Our PSR losses are now hugely mitigated by a much improved commercial income. When we landed ourselves in bother last time, it was big spending against a backdrop of paltry income. We aren't in that situation anymore. Overpaying for JSL isn't going to break us.

Aye it's a total mess, but the only way out of it now is to reach an agreement with Wolves and give them what they want. If we let the window shut with no replacement, and we have a bad season up til January, it's gonna be even worse in the January window. Firstly cos it's a shit window, and secondly cos we're even more desperate. Just pull the trigger on this lad today. The PSR effect of every £10m overpaid is £2m per year. It's fuck all. Just get the deal done.

Whether Vlahovic wants to take a pay cut or not is immaterial. Howe doesn't want him. Whether that's based on character or ability, he's not coming.

Aye, all fair points. We just need to pay Wolves the fucking money now. Dragging this out is doing no one any favours. Sign him, and announce that our striker business is complete for this window, and then go back to see Isak. Tell him he's not going to Liverpool in this window, and present him with a plan for reintegration with various milestones that he is expected to meet. Every milestone missed will result in him being fined in line with the club policy and his contract, and every training session/match missed will be fined accordingly too. Make him start feeling the consequences for this bullshit.

Agree with all of this, other than that we're about to overpay by closer to £30/40m for him. But those are the circumstances we find ourselves in. Let that be a lesson to the ownership that if you fuck your big appointments up, it fucks everything up.

If Vlahovic was remotely attractive to Howe, we'd have made enquiries by now cos it's been apparent that he's been available all summer. We haven't and so I'd say it's pretty clear that Howe doesn't fancy him in the slightest. I think we can probably rest assured that all options have been considered and, for whatever reasons, have been boiled down to JSL or Wissa. We're not gonna unearth someone using Google or looking at their scoring record on wikipedia that our recruitment team hasn't already considered and rejected.

I think he's saying we CAN play them now.

You understand the concept of tomorrow, yes. As in...

If we play two from each group including our own, could we not still get them? Or is there some sort of in-group seeding that prevents this? Please be nice to me in your response, Mr ewerk sir.

What is this daft twat on about?