Gemmill

I don't want to be giving ChatGPT notes, but this should really have been "a chin so slick"

This sounds like we're shagging?!

I wanted to stick with the three main things he's known for: Fear of seagulls, pushing trolleys, and munching tuppence.

Who could disagree?

Absolutely thrilled that it went with the master of cunnilingus prompt. I was certain that would get knocked back.

**"Seagulls and Trolleys: The Ballad of Renton"** *(Country Song)* *Verse 1* Well, Renton was a simple man, born by the sea, In the heart of Tynemouth where the gulls fly free. But there’s a twist to his tale, a quirk in his soul, He’s got a fear of seagulls, they’re outta control. They swoop and they squawk, they circle and dive, But he’s got a dream, and he keeps it alive. *Chorus* Oh, Renton, he’s the king of the coast, A porter with pride, and he’ll always boast. He ain’t scared of hard work or late-night calls, But those devilish seagulls give him chills and stalls. He’ll push your trolley, but when gulls attack, He’ll be the first to run and never look back. *Verse 2* As a boy, he watched *Casualty* on the telly screen, Robson Green was his idol, cool and serene. He knew his calling wasn’t a doctor or nurse, He’d be the porter, for better or worse. With a whistle on his lips and a swagger in his stride, He’d wheel those beds like a hospital pride. *Chorus* Oh, Renton, he’s the king of the coast, A porter with pride, and he’ll always boast. He ain’t scared of hard work or late-night calls, But those devilish seagulls give him chills and stalls. He’ll push your trolley, but when gulls attack, He’ll be the first to run and never look back. *Bridge* Now, there’s a legend on the North Sea breeze, About Renton’s other passion—he’s a man of expertise. He’ll proudly tell the ladies with a grin so slick, That he’s the number one fanny licker in Tynemouth quick. A champion of love with a talent so rare, No seagull can touch him when he’s down there. *Chorus* Oh, Renton, he’s the king of the coast, A porter with pride, and he’ll always boast. He ain’t scared of hard work or late-night calls, But those devilish seagulls give him chills and stalls. He’ll push your trolley, but when gulls attack, He’ll be the first to run and never look back. *Outro* So here’s to Renton, a man full of charm, With a trolley in his hands and love in his arms. A hero of the ward, and the coast’s wild pride, Just don’t mention seagulls—he’ll be running to hide.

An oddly upbeat ending. It's put a real spring in my step.

My cat had them earlier this week. She's been off her food and I lifted her up to try and get her to eat something and noticed a couple hanging out the back of her like Gray and Keys.

Aye I think he'll be in the squad, and all the CUNTS who can't cut the lad a break will have to apologise to me, which I'll pass on to Joe Willock.

That Sowunmi was a big fucker himself.

Van Gerwen wasn't me. Might have been @Optimistic Nut?

Hopefully Liverpool's slow puncture continues. Arsenal could close to within 4 points tomorrow, and they all want shot of their manager.

Sels's haircut ffs. Somme chic.

McManaman fucking gutted about that save.

Chelsea just equalised too.

Draw is a good result for us here. Both of these dropping points.

Man City Still shite. Yates might get himself sent off here. Plenty time for it.

Yates should start every match on a yellow card.

Bournemouth and Man City winning. We could go 4th tomorrow.

Before tonight's game Forest were on the exact same points after the same number of games as Leicester were when they won the league. They can fuck off if they think they're doing that though. We should be taking heart from this though, rather than hoping they fall off. Don't get me wrong, I don't want them to win the league, and I don't want them to finish above us, but Forest blacking the eye of the cartel is just more evidence that this lot can be got at by a well run club that's having a moment.

Fair play Chris Wood. He's having the time of his life.

Just for balance, there's another one where Bella Emberg is working you like a glove puppet.

Me and thee on the doobies while these lads are up a height about everything farken.

Aye we need Liverpool to stuff Forest tonight.