Gemmill

It's fucking weird man. These people don't look like normal humans anymore. If they ever moved anywhere other than LA, they'd look like they arrived from another planet.

Luckily for the Essex cunt squad, I haven't seen them tonight. Hopefully they've had the fuck kicked out of them by 30 Germans.

They've only arrived today or possibly last night, and this is their patter already on their first full day. Brutal, man. Just awful people. We leave on Sunday so I hope they get booted before then if that's what's coming.

I don't know enough about him, but if Howe thinks he can do something with him, that's good enough for me. Wild the profit that Wolves are about to turn on him mind.

I think they might get hoyed out if they keep it up. You can't be trying to pick fights around the hotel pool ffs. This isn't wherever CT goes on holiday.

I'm assuming Larsen is a Wissa alternative now that Brentford have inflated his price beyond the point that PIF will sanction.

Full of punts.

This place were staying has been fucking class. Mostly Germans and Dutch, quite rare to hear a couple chatting and they're English, and just dead quiet and chill. Today we're at lunch and these fucking loud as fuck Essex bamps turn up. They had to ask the lass to put a top on cos it's no bikinis in the dinner place, which tbf she did with no bother. But they're loud and obnoxious and just everything you despise about people from Essex. Anyway 20 minutes ago or so, we were in the pool and these fucking arseholes are walking along the side of the pool and I hear the lass turn around and do an exaggerated blowing of a kiss to someone at the pool, and then shouting "I don't like you!". 10 minutes after that, they're walking across the bridge over the pool trying to make eye contact* with whoever this person was and I hear the lass say "Ugly piece of shit! Who the fack do they fink they are". Honestly you've barely heard anyone raise their voice even to talk to someone for over a week and these cunts turn up, and it's pool wars. I've never seen owt like it. People are looking around with looks of shock on their face at these thick fucking beasts. *The fucking lad who she's with, in trying to make eye contact, actually has some of those glasses where you flip the sunglasses bit up, so he did that to try and initiate the stare-out, which looked NAILS. I'm genuinely considering going and saying something to them if this continues cos it's been class and everyone has been dead canny, and it's fucking embarrassing that it's these loudmouth Essex cunts that have turned up and are causing bother. I assume the people they're mouthing off at are probably in a room next to them, and are now getting no peace and quiet cos of these plebs, and have maybe said something about it. I'll never understand how "Essex" became a thing that people think is good or something to aspire to in our country. They're classless showy cunts, and these are the fucking worst of them.

Towers over some of the lads on here.

Mbeumo must be 4ft 11 then.

That's mint Cath, congrats to you and the boy.

The best I can do for you is a Dan Burn sliding tackle out by the touchline that takes man AND ball (but mostly man), which is deemed legal by the referee (and the 3 minute VAR check), but which leaves the cunt on the receiving end with second thoughts about mixing it for the rest of the game. How's that sound?

And it hasn't yet has it, fucking quantity surveyor?

Good point. I missed Richarlison needs to prefer the word conference to the word champion's.

That's a lot that needs to happen for the Spurs thing mind. Palace need to be happy for Eze to go, and to accept Richarlison as part of the deal. And Wissa needs to want to go there. It probably delays us getting Wissa rather than stops it, cos player swap deals are not easy to pull off.

Fuckin sick of this window.

Toney's on £450k per week isn't he? We're not paying that and the Saudi lot aren't gonna pay it either when they're not looking to lose him.

Proper thick cunts.

They've lost two of them, what's one more? We're at least not taking the piss here on price. It's not the equivalent of £110m for Isak.

"sources insist target price on 28yo never given to anyone"? Are they saying the £60m spouted the other day was bollocks? I'm assuming we're only £5m or so away from getting an agreement here. Hopefully we just go again quickly cos this is getting ridiculous.

If that's a deal approaching £45m, they've absolutely had our pants down and they should take the money and run. Hopefully they will. Holding out for more probably sees them end up with nowt.

Like five Richard Madeleys having a circlejerk.

40 + add ons next. Then walk if it's a no.

I cannot fathom why we've left this til Wednesday.

It'll be something about the club, I reckon. Or like a Bruno thing. Nothing divisive.