Gemmill

Shearer and Joe Hart. All three said he was very unlucky to get a red. All three completely wrong.

MOTD reckoned Duran was unlucky cos once he's turned his ankle all bets are off and the only sensible place for him to put his right foot was all up the back of Schar. Obviously horseshit. He looks like he's got a bit of a hair trigger, and I suspect this won't be the last time we see him get in bother.

Lived in Helensbrugh, unless he's moved. Looked a lush place btw, right next to Loch Lomond.

Man United continue to absolutely fucking delight me.

Matt Cash btw. There's a BMW forecourt somewhere missing its number one salesman.

Chelsea losing now too. The push for CL is on. We'd need to go mad in the summer for it not to completely fuck our season next year though.

Come back any time Grenville.

Belter.

They're gonna disallow this. What a fucking ludicrous rule man.

Get in!

Tindall sent off cos Emery went in the ref's room at half time and grassed him up apparently. The fucking golden snitch.

I bet your name's Grenville.

Commentator just mentioned there's a number of empty seats at the Etihad. Man City trying to sit on a 1 nil lead v Everton and they haven't even been able to do that. They look so timid.

@Howmanheyman Zulu. Today. 3:50pm on C4. The Guns of Navarone. NYE. 2:05pm on C4.

Somebody just set the Sky+.

Lenny Henry's Christmas Special from 1987 is on BBC4 tonight. Might be of interest to the lads that post regularly in the joke and funny pictures thread.

Calling them "little Ipswich" twice like the ex-Norwich bellend that he is.

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick....

No shirt cuffs visible on this one. He's learned his lesson.

That's the ones. I'm on fucking high alert constantly body scanning in case any of these side effects turns up. It's a lot of fun.

Ah that's a pisser. Hope you're turned around soon.

I've made a conscious effort to not eat like a complete cunt from as soon as I break up from work until the day I go back to work. Normally by Christmas morning I'm like a tube of brown toothpaste that you can never get the last bit out of. Not this year though, glorious.

Just put BBC Breakfast on and they're outside Sandringham where a bunch of people have camped out all night for a chance to see the royals arrive for their Christmas. I'd rather have a whole fist up me arse.

Just finished this. Read in two sittings over yesterday and today. Really good and only 99p currently if you're a Kindle person. That synopsis makes it sound almost a bit Mills and Boon but there's proper nasty shit goes down in it. Well worth a read. Night Boat to Tangier by the same bloke is good too.

Sounds canny. We're going out for Christmas dinner. Haven't done this before but it's basically a 2.5 hour affair, then I get to come home. Couldn't have asked for anything more.