Gemmill

They're everywhere. It's like an infestation of human vermin. Speaking of charvas, I was in Tesco yesterday when this woman popped her head round the corner from one of the aisles and shouted for her little daughter who was in the next aisle along. Her name? "ARMAAAANIIIIIIII! GET HEYYAH NOW!" Armani ffs. Stopped me dead in my fucking tracks.

They had the stats on the radio this morning, and Man United have had 4 penalties given against them this season, 3 at OT. Chelsea have only had 2 given against them. Man United have been given 4 penalties to Chelsea's 3. The O'Shea one on Saturday was defo a penalty though so I can see why he's crying a bit, but they should have wiped the floor with us yesterday and didn't look all that interested - you would never have thought that they needed to win to stay in the title race!?

If Ameobi had scored the same amount of goals people would rightfully still point at the shortcomings of his game... Exactly. Fucking hell, it's not even like it's unfair criticism. The people who want his critics to be quiet all basically concede that his touch and movement are poor. It's like "Yeah his touch and movement are pretty bad a lot of the time, but do we really need to talk about it? Can we not just keep talking about how shit Bramble is, or about Parker's pirouettes? Let's focus on criticising others and leave Martins alone."

I just don't see what purpose they serve other than to act as a public nuisance. The whole IM LISTENIN TO TEH RAVE ON ME FONE!!111 shit does my head in as well. In the shop next to my house the other day this twat walks in with his too-small-for-his-head cap on and his phone blaring out what seemed to be the Alvin and the Chipmunks theme tune. Me and the shopkeeper were both staring at him with a sort of "Are you gonna answer that, dickhead?" look on our faces. It soon became apparent that he was just playing songs through it and apparently thought we'd all like to hear how shit his musical tastes were. Just. Die. Please.

We should have the day off tbh. Not cos I'm patriotic or anything, just cos I like days off. We didn't even get an extra one when the queen mother pegged it, did we?

They are absolute scum and they're growing fast. Nowt you can do about it, but I would back a mass exportation to some bitterly cold island somewhere for them to break rocks all day. Or national service. Or Siberia.

Happy birthday titheed.

Which proves what?

Difference is though that those 7 or 8 players get roundly slated by everyone, whereas Martins either escapes criticism or is jizzed about by people who have his picture in their signature and genuinely think he's one of the best players in the world (see the thread where the majority voted that they wouldn't swap him for Rooney ). Someone (with a brain) needs to act as a counterbalance to that, and that someone is me. Now pop another tampax in and shut it, you beardy kebab muncher!

Fucking hell, I have a go at the lad for his poor movement and touch. When it improves, I'll stop. We're an awfully sensitive bunch, aren't we? On this occasion I was responding sarcastically to a player who aside from a few good games, hasn't been all that great, and has looked downright woeful at times, saying "the best is yet to come". I didn't realise you and 2J were menstruating or else I'd have kept my mouth shut. Just saying you seem to have a go a LOT. Sometimes seems like Martins is to you what Kieron Dyer to Northern Monkey Worse than Simon Cowell tbh. His touch and movement seem to be shit a LOT.

Fucking hell, I have a go at the lad for his poor movement and touch. When it improves, I'll stop. We're an awfully sensitive bunch, aren't we? On this occasion I was responding sarcastically to a player who aside from a few good games, hasn't been all that great, and has looked downright woeful at times, saying "the best is yet to come". I didn't realise you and 2J were menstruating or else I'd have kept my mouth shut.

You used the c-words, Catherine. Asterisks or not, that's a c-word. I know a c-word when I see one, and that's a c-word.

Not sure tbh. It does sound like him, and it would be a bit random for someone to make up, but it could be a fake. "I'm gonna take a flight out there and bollock you. So you better be ready for that."

Listen to this message he's left for his kid. I love the bit where he doesn't even know how old she is. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxwD4UGnJjc

You sure you don't want the lad to fail? By saying I hope there's better to come. You sure you've thought this one through? Yes I have thought this through, I'm just struggling of a time you've had anything positive at all to say on the lad. So would you hope that he's going to get better or would you be happy if he continued in the same vain as we've seen since he got here? My complaints about his touch and movement are perfectly valid tbh. Of course I'd be happy with an improvement but the way you go on about him you'd think he'd been total wank for us and not scored any goals at all. He's a striker and has scored some vital goals for us this season so I cannot complain with the goals he's scored due to the circumstances. He's the last of our players who deserves shit tbh. All I've ever complained about with Martins are his touch and his movement. And with good reason tbf. The other players that deserve stick have got plenty from me an'all, but Martins isn't above criticism just because other players have done worse. The first sentence of your post is total bollocks btw. I've said on numerous occasions that he's done well to score so many goals in his first season. For £10m though I want a much more rounded player - hopefully we'll see some of that next season.

Mourinho's "I'd love it if we beat them" moment. Mind, that O'Shea challenge looked a penalty to me yesterday. Nowhere near the ball.

You sure you don't want the lad to fail? By saying I hope there's better to come. You sure you've thought this one through? Yes I have thought this through, I'm just struggling of a time you've had anything positive at all to say on the lad. So would you hope that he's going to get better or would you be happy if he continued in the same vain as we've seen since he got here? My complaints about his touch and movement are perfectly valid tbh.

You sure you don't want the lad to fail? By saying I hope there's better to come. You sure you've thought this one through?

Aye he was decent. Looks much fitter than he has for a while too - still bombing on late in the game. Carroll looked fairly unfazed as well - looks like he has a lot of time on the ball when he gets it played into him with his back to goal.

Best is yet to come? I would fucking hope so.

Closure.

Ozzy is borderline retarded these days tbh. As for Sharon, she's a nasty old slut.

Wok piss way.

Aye, heard about this on the news this morning. Fucking disgrace. I take it they'll never get these bairns back?

Sunshiiiiine stubbeh!