Gemmill

Nobody can tell me that there isn't some in-breeding going in with them though. You see entire families getting on the metro and they haven't got a brain cell between them. All stood with vacant looks across their faces. Mongs.

His response says it all, the cheating twat!

I fucking hate charvers. I just look at them and I want to put my hands round their throats and squeeze the life out of the little fuckers.

The bloke was armed himself.

I've registered an'all. Good work Cath.

Both bridges shut? Cant he make his mind up where he wants to jump from ? He was armed as well. So not only could he not make his mind up which bridge to jump off, he couldn't make his mind up how to kill himself.

I wonder how many people missed their flights to go on holiday this morning because of this bloke. Did he jump in the end or not?

By the way, if he was serious, surely he would have just turned up and lobbed himself over the side. It would never have got to the stage where the police even got there, never mind negotiated with him for 7 or 8 hours.

Aye I saw this on the news. Canny fucking annoying.

Class.

I have to agree with Leazes here, that is plainly not true.

I never thought I would see the day tbh. I'm leaving this forum. It's gone all man-kissy.

I can imagine your lass sat downstairs just rolling her eyes when she hears a crash and a "FOR FUCKS SAKE!" from upstairs. Fucking Basil Fawlty.

I imagine that sends you into a WILD RAGE.

Just the thought of the bush rustling and an unknown voice from within it calling you a fucking wanker is hilarious.

I've got Airport set up on my Mac so I can play music wirelessly, and print wirelessly from a different room and that but I never print anything at home anyway. Waste of time I tells thee.

I would quite fancy the idea, but I can't get past the idea of all the wires and having to have a computer in the living room - is that what it would mean? Or am I being clueless? All my music comes off the computer or my ipod these days, and I like to use the computer for the web and email. Dunno how TV through a computer works though. Looks like a whole lot of unnecessary hassle tbh.

Nah, it wasn't funny because it was forwarded to me by my Canadian cousin. To be fair, if Simon and Halfuncle is your gold standard, you would know funny if it bit you in the ass. Even the words Simon and Halfuncle made me smile. I think I might have a problem.

Ah right. I was giving the joke more credit than it deserved then. I thought it wasn't funny because something was missing.

The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE T he bishop was buried the next day. Nun announces her ass is wild and free to what? Look, I don't want to have too much of a go as I know you're new to this, but if you're going to miss out the most important part of the joke, you should think about another career.

Re the free installation for new customers only, I'm pretty sure if you rang them and told them that they either give you it free or you switch to Sky +, you'd be getting it installed for nowt.

http://www.telewest.co.uk/html/tvdrive/when.html How much does TVDrive cost? There is no up-front equipment fee for TVDrive. £10 a month if you subscribe to Supreme TV or £15 a month if you subscribe to either our Starter or Essential TV. Free installation for new Telewest digital TV customers. If you are an existing digital TV customer you will get free installation of TVDrive when you keep your existing set top box in another room for an additional £5 a month. If you're an existing digital TV customer to swap out your existing standard box for TVDrive a £75 installation fee will apply.

Telewest have their own version of Sky + now, yes.

You're missing half a sentence from the end of the joke, you crazy yank!