Gemmill

Aye I would say Keanu Reeves in Point Break wouldn't be too far off. I'm Johnny Football.

Craig must rue the day he released his own collection of reaction gifs.

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A little thing that goes by the name MATHEMATICS.

They're running 5 points ahead of where they should be on expected points. In the long run, they'll get results in line with their performances. They're 2-0 up here on 0.93xG, but you can take 0.76xG off them if you don't think that's a pen. So they would be 2 up on 0.17xG. This is just positive variance. It won't last long term. It's like poker. If you keep putting your money in when you're consistently behind, you can run hot in the short term, but you're gonna lose a lot of money in the long run. Don't worry about it lads.

Some absolutely mental challenges on Man United players are what this game needs now.

Everything about this is hilarious. The big deal these blue bellends have made all week about "they picked the wrong club", and now this. Man United remain absolutely shit so there's nothing to worry about there. But Everton having the wind so comprehensively taken out of their you don't mess with Everton sails is fucking perfect. All their amazing fans have done all game is boo fucking everything that's happened.

Aye pen surely. Send Young off for being fucking ancient too.

0.09xG. Long live Erik Ten Hag.

They're gonna get murdered next weekend.

Aye, I maintain that Pickford should be allowed to hold a wooden spoon in each hand to level the playing field.

Ten Hag sent to the stands for shagging a whippet.

Pretty sure Neville jumped up in the air and landed in the splits when that went in.

Gary Neville with a James Brown goalgasm too. I don't want these to win but that is objectively fucking hilarious. Their stupid flyers and all their indignation, just immediately undone.

Getting beat straight away.

If any club is capable of making the atmosphere so poisonous that their own team can't perform, it's this lot.

Never lost two in a row at Celtic. He's lost 3 in a row now at Spurs. They've got a bunch of injuries, but I reckon he was always gonna be a streaky confidence type manager.

If Villa's twat goalkeeper could score an own goal, that would finish this one up nicely.

Bentancur's first game back after doing his ACL and Cash has just hacked him and he's had to go off. This is the start of the violence. Son will avenge Bentancur next. The Koreans love a revenge story.

Aye, Watkins and Son to kick each other to death.

Listen. Pugwall's niece does not issue bans, temporary or otherwise to Toontastic's premier match day mascot.

I want to see Howe and Tindall goose-stepping up the Champs Elysee if we win.

Nobody is more invested in Everton losing all their matches, but it's temporary ceasefire time today when The Mekon rolls into town. I hope Calvert-Lewin snaps his hamstring scoring his 5th.