Gemmill

Howe actually said he should play before the end of the season.

He's fine. Has trained all week. If we still believe Eddie Howe. 👀

Out for 8 weeks apparently. Small operation to remove fluid from his knee. The OPPOSITE one to the one he injured previously, IF YOU CAN BELIEVE THAT EH?!

Someone with a gun?

What channel's it on, Filey's Most Wanted?

You need to up your game or start reading a few Spot the Dog books to catch yourself up.

The way things are going, Bruno will miss the cup final for the same reason.

Tbf, she's let you fill her conservatory with pinball machines.

I bet he calls her "baby".

How does TT measure up to the rest of Thick Britain?

Sounds like as long as he's getting sucked off in the brash American style, he's prepared to keep his mouth shut. And who can honestly blame him?

Japan will be mint like. I've got friends who've been and absolutely loved it. Some trek though.

It'll be Kid Rock doing the half time show to keep Trump happy.

The 2026 WC is gonna be wild. USA, Canada and Mexico. Can't see what could go wrong between now and then between those three nations..... 😬

I bet Scotland still don't qualify.

I also remember they had a "rehearsal dinner" the night before which was basically all of the wedding party having a slap up dinner in an old converted movie theatre that they'd hired. At the end of the meal there were speeches and they opened up the mic for anyone who had anything to say about the bride. Well. I think I was the only person there that didn't take the mic, and there must have easily been 50 people there. It was fucking insane. Every time someone finished, another hand went up, another shit anecdote. I was looking around the room like "it can't just be me that thinks this is mental". Looking for the faintese hint of an eye roll from ANYONE when the next hand went up. Nothing. Absolute bullshit.

Nah, everyone I was mates with over there was an expat. A couple of the Canadian lads still live there - one of them married a Texan lass, but she wasn't daft so I assume she's not pro Trump. Or maybe she is and she's getting ready to march on her husband's homeland. I went to their wedding, and it was a serious money affair. Her parents hired this huge city hall type building in the centre of Houston and I don't know who exactly was there, but there was security all around the block for it - assume it was big oil men and some Texas politicos. Obviously I left as early as I thought could be considered not rude, which was almost certainly earlier than anyone else would have considered not rude.

He's a fucking piece of shit, this bloke. Anyone who voted for him can fuck off as well, never mind your fucking buyer's remorse cos eggs still cost more than you hoped - if your world view extended beyond the cost of your fucking breakfast, you might not have got yourself and the whole fucking world into this mess.

@spongebob toonpants @PaddockLad @Alex Coming back from a dog walk there, and I've had to do the walk of shame past all the neighbours' houses trying to suppress laughter as Taylor Parkes described a post coital Barry White: "all spaffed out, lying naked and sweaty on his back with his arms spread out, breathing like a racehorse with his slowly detumescing penis lolling over to one side like a boiled leek."

It took you hours to do that? I don't think I would have let you walk to and from school by yourself.

I'm on my third course of antibiotics for the old prostate. Fucking sick of this shit.

CLIMATE CHANGE DENIER

Good luck! I hate this extreme weather shit.

Are you in the path of this cyclone I've just seen about on the news?

Aye £35m for Anderson was considered a canny bit at the time. The lad was an unfancied 4th or 5th option for us.