Smooth Operator

Christ only got Salty Sellars on the anoraks one!

Woah thought you were trying to big Prince up!!

Magma, you're beautiful man don't let anyone tell you any different.

A lass at work recommended me his first album when it came out, even knocked me up a copy. Gave it a listen at work the same day she gave it to me and politely sent her an e-mail asking her to never reccomend music to me ever again. Blunt himself is a pure cock as well, he moved to America as soon as he faced the backlash here, no wonder like the yanks love their wet blanket pop music. The only thing I'll give him credit for is boning Petra Nemcova, a fine piece of ass.

What's the job? James Blunts PA?

They reckon if you fill the sink with cold water and dunk your balls in just as you're about to cum it increases the feeling 10 fold. Never tried it myself like.

Every sperm is sacred. Catholics dont believe in blobs, the more devout catholic a country, the more like the birds will do anal. Just before i went to meet this bird in Rome, my mate said Italian birds love it in the arse so if i ended up banging her, be sure to give it a nudge. He was right. Kate is canny fit for the record. You can't cum up their arse though can you or it does some damage or is that pissing up their arse, i can't remember. Anyone? I got some arse to mouth action off her so i cant really say for sure. I'd say pissing up a bird's arse is a bit much, catholic or not. What? She sucked you off after you had it in her stinkhole? May as well have ate her own turd instead!

Can I ask you a personal question about being gay and needing a shit my old mucca? When you are dying for a shit and have to hold it in until you find a bog do you have more trouble keeping your turd at bay cos your ring will be a lot more stretched than most people's wont it? Just wondered. Has your lass suggested buying a strap-on or something? Look I know you're going through a difficult divorce but don't try and subconsciously get me involved in the kinds of activities that provoked your maritial decline! I'm not the one bringing up activities of a 'turd-tapping' nature.... I'm merely enquiring about an old friends shitting habits, routine imo! It's only cos I know he used to have to wear a nappy all through Primary school cos he was prone to accidents! I thought what we discussed at Subbuteo Club stayed within the walls of Subbuteo Club Anyway, my ring is as yet unstretched, so you're barking up the wrong tree. Makes me a fake gay apparently. I keep getting memories from back in the day, remember playing footie in your back yard but cos you were crap you used to sit on high and commentate while we played. I was always referred to as whoever was the soccer superstar at the time, not sure now if that was cos I was the best at footie or cos you wanted to gay me up!

Every sperm is sacred. Catholics dont believe in blobs, the more devout catholic a country, the more like the birds will do anal. Just before i went to meet this bird in Rome, my mate said Italian birds love it in the arse so if i ended up banging her, be sure to give it a nudge. He was right. Kate is canny fit for the record. You can't cum up their arse though can you or it does some damage or is that pissing up their arse, i can't remember. Anyone?

Can I ask you a personal question about being gay and needing a shit my old mucca? When you are dying for a shit and have to hold it in until you find a bog do you have more trouble keeping your turd at bay cos your ring will be a lot more stretched than most people's wont it? Just wondered. Has your lass suggested buying a strap-on or something? Look I know you're going through a difficult divorce but don't try and subconsciously get me involved in the kinds of activities that provoked your maritial decline! I'm not the one bringing up activities of a 'turd-tapping' nature.... I'm merely enquiring about an old friends shitting habits, routine imo! It's only cos I know he used to have to wear a nappy all through Primary school cos he was prone to accidents!

Can I ask you a personal question about being gay and needing a shit my old mucca? When you are dying for a shit and have to hold it in until you find a bog do you have more trouble keeping your turd at bay cos your ring will be a lot more stretched than most people's wont it? Just wondered. Has your lass suggested buying a strap-on or something? Look I know you're going through a difficult divorce but don't try and subconsciously get me involved in the kinds of activities that provoked your maritial decline!

I swear they gave me a spoon to cut it with No that's for you to spoon your eyes out after 6 months when the little get wont go to sleep!

Can I ask you a personal question about being gay and needing a shit my old mucca? When you are dying for a shit and have to hold it in until you find a bog do you have more trouble keeping your turd at bay cos your ring will be a lot more stretched than most people's wont it? Just wondered.

She looks cracking on the front page of some of the papers today - the exception being the Mirror where they've either photoshopped her to look blotchy and haggered or the other papers have expert airbrushers on thier books.

No way, the bairn wakes up at the slightest noise!

Congrats my friend, I got to cut the cord too, funny how such a simple sounding thing can mean so much. Had to tell wor lass to keep it in for a bit longer though while they scoured the ward looking for some left-handed scissors!

If wor lass is having a pop at me asking why I haven't done such and such/why I fucked whats her name etc there's 2 words at the minute that get her back up beyond belief. "Righto" and "whatever" - like a red rag to a bull. Inoffensive like but the effect these 2 words have is incredible! Anyone else got any words that spark domestic war?

Have you tried rape?

Word up homo's I'm in there as SMO Euro Puffs.

Yo yo nigga I is gonna open a 6 pack of whoop ass on yo skinny ass. Muppet.

I would be all over it but she's on leave this week!

Looked a far better player in that position than Butt whose played there all his career!

Aye if I a council carpet! Think I'll push the boat out and go for a runner down the stairs with some brass carpet rods. Thought you were gonna say "do a runner with the cheque" Wouldn't go very far seeing as it's gonna be made payable to Storey Carpets.

Amend it to read Sidwell?

It was a simple mistype of is instead of if. Check manc's quoted post for verification.