Brock Manson

Ey Giuseppe, it's-a the curry man again. Quick, get-a the jar of Sharwoods.

Car Insurance. Admiral wanting £600, Ford quoting me £906, I've found a quote for £416. Not bad.

How the other half lives!

I like how 'FTM' trickles round the corner of the table.

Going out for a Halloween pissup. I've made meself an evil Mario costume. With Ant's chocolate coins idea too.

Only this team can get beat off the mackems and then win a deserved victory against Chelski. Great result, and I hope that'll give the defence and team a massive boost for the games ahead.

GET THE FUCK IN REMY

Yeah we fuckin do.

The CT diet.

Fucking typical. You just knew once Cisse missed that glorious chance that they'd go and score.

Can...can we just skip a generation and start over?

Aye, Gemmil's hardly wiped the floor with people on this one.

Fantastic film, just got back from it. He's a sublime actor in a very tense film. Most worn-out I've felt after a movie in ages.

The man with the mechanised heart begins building his army of vacuuming service bots. Be afraid.

They definitely seized on the opportunity to exploit our central defence. Despite continually proving he isn't a PL centre back, people have a short memory when it comes to how shit Williamson is. Dummet had no chance starting next to him. Form goes out the window in the derby - we don't seem to have the players who can rise above the crap that comes with the fixture and come out on top. Doesn't matter how crap they are, in recent seasons Sunderland have approached these games in a far better way than our lot. No wonder they won when their goal for the season is to beat NUFC at all costs, bollocks to anything else. Shit result but we out shot them and in the second half shaded the play. If we had invested in the summer then we would've had a competent centre back and not had to throw Dummet in at the deep end with a Williamson weight tied to him.

Hate buggering about with the clocks.

Mackem.

Knackered and gutted. Lost our badminton match 5-4 so still chasing my first win as captain. So close! Time for a shower beer.

I can't get enough of the feckers.

Fish pie! Smoked haddock, cod and salmon with a white wine parsley sauce and cheesy mash topping. Served up with peas and edamame beans. Simple yet grand.

Starship Troopers. Dina Meyer

I don't do much by the way of stir fries but i've made a marinade of dark soy sauce, honey, sweet chilli sauce, thai red curry paste, rice wine vinegar and chinese 5 spice for some beef. Spicy beef noodles coming up.

Microwaved cherry tomatoes??? Grill them!

Every player experiences a drop in form. With a player like Ben Arfa, it's worth having him in the side just for the moments of magic that can completely change a game. The one thing you can say about Pards is that throughout his tenure, he's managed Ben Arfa very well where many other managers have fallen flat. He might be tactically naive all too often, but he knows how to get the best out of HBA. The old adage - form is temporary, class is permanent applies. He should unquestionably play against the mackems. Give him the chance to run at the Bardsleys and Cattermoles so they're on the back foot. Whether he's coming on when the game's calmed down a bit or starting from the off, it's important to stick with him as when he's in form he's one of the standout players in the league.

Don't think I'd enjoy watching Dale getting a blowie off her either.