Craig

The difference between guts and balls Guts - is arriving home late after a night out with the lads, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?" Balls - is coming home late after a night out with the lads, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the arse and having the balls to say, "You're next fatty". **** 3 cockerels in a chicken run. 1 is normal, 1 is dyslexic, and 1 is gay. At dawn every morning they come out of their hutch in the same order. The normal cockerel hops on the perch ,beats his wings, fluffs his feathers, struts his stuff and cries "Cock-a-doodle do". The dyslexic cockerel hops on the perch, beats his wings, fluffs his feathers, struts his stuff and cries "Doodle-doodle-cock" The gay cockerel hops on the perch, beats his wings, fluffs his feathers, struts his stuff and cries, "Any-cock'll-do" **** Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway, shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the bathroom, stick my foot in the toilet and pee down my leg to prevent splashing sounds. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!!" His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door,storm up the steps, throw my shoes in the closet, jump into bed, slap her on the ass and shout, "WHO'S HORNY".... "and she acts like she's asleep every time."

Bullshit Bernard!

Off the top of my head, a couple of seasons back when we were playing Charlton at home and Laurent Robert went to ground like he'd been shot and somehow we got a penalty... I seem to remember the concensus on toon-chat was that "other teams get away with it so why shouldn't we", I remember I was fucking livid that one of our players resorted to that carry on but I was in the minority... For the record, my views on yesterday's decisions: 1. Jenas was reckless and clumsy, he tackled late from behind which is a cautionable offence - it is not IMO, a red card offence. The important point to remember is that he issued a straight red, if it had been a second yellow then I could have seen some justification. That being said, if it had been the other way, we'd have been screaming for their player to be sent off, and how the fuck did that ogre (Senderos) survive?? 2. It was a penalty IMO. N'Zogbia was behind the player, wrapped one leg around him and also had a hand on his shoulder. He was never in a million years going to get that ball and he didn't. You can't go lunging in the box like that as penalties will be given. Inexperience on his part and he will learn from it. Again, if it had been the other end of the pitch, I doubt many of you would have thought it was unjustified....

Was chatting to a few Arsenal fans in the week and the subject of Jenas came up. I asked how happy they would be to see him play for them and they were excited at the prospect. They feel he is not yet the 'finished article' and that he has yet to work under a manager at club level who has the ability to bring out the best of him.. Sadly, on the second point, they may well have a point.....

Any blue Fiestas seen parked nearby?

What's the URL of the image you want to use?

Just checked to logs - no-one's touched nowt..... Shall we put this down to 'Sammy being a knacker' again!

Try uploading it again - just had a play with the directory permissions....

You avatar has changed for me - have you done a CTRL + F5?

Does the quote button work here?????? 11232[/snapback] Works perfectly fine.....

Guilt trip?? Hmmm, now that they've started the new board up, one particular post no longer exists! That being said, there is no slagging off (not from the people who built this place anyway), If members on here like this place but not Newcastle-Online, are they not allowed to comment?

Which thread? (thought you weren't bothering with Newcastle-Online anymore Brock! ) 10848[/snapback] I meant forum (Jealous are we? ) 10851[/snapback] Not at all - post wherever you like.... I was just commenting following your post further up this thread!

You're starting to sound like Craig off BB! "Well I'm better at it than he is. I'm best of all, better than anybody in fact! Who was it that sorted everything out when there was problems? Yadder....yadder.... " 10849[/snapback] If it was anyone else you'd be looking at a ban for that comment lady!! (we sooooo need an irony emot - might have to find one)

Which thread? (thought you weren't bothering with Newcastle-Online anymore Brock! )

VERY bad choice of phrase.... Who's sorted out the issues on here since we kicked off BTW? The quoting one for starters which if I remember rightly was bugging the shit out of you!

yeah, yeah...... and the rest you fucking glory-hunter!!!! You don't see this sort of lack of respect over at Newcastle-Online, why HTT is practically wanking Phil off! Show some manners!

To be fair though, I am a genius 10831[/snapback] Yeah OK, you did a nifty banner and a couple of nice buttons!

Looks very little different to when we as the old mods were given a sneaky about 2 months ago.... That being said, my avatar over there was one I haven't used for about 2 months as well! Good luck to them, hope it goes well, but would love to know (and this is no dig at them) what has taken them 4 months to create? As a comparison this place was launched less than 2 days after the idea was first put in my head!

That's about the face of it aye.... What a difference 12 months makes, eh? When we wondered what the point in going for Rooney was as we already had 4 strikers on our books....

Happy birthday

Dodgy monitor? 10672[/snapback] That's what I was about to say - one of the colour pigments in the monitor sounds like it's given up the ghost... Same happened to our TV!

You blind Skol? Must be all that wanking!

Nah, I just think Liedson is a good player. 10608[/snapback] Ignore Shearergol he doesnt know about any footballers outside of England so claims people who do just know them from Champ. Also i dont think he go's to our games yet thinks he knows everything about peoples performances 10654[/snapback] When we going to get a post attacking Jenas? 5 minutes?

I've just got this mental image of the word 'Jimbomobile' painted down the side of it!

Gratuitous excuse to post some beaver shots.... (howay lads, join in! )