Papa Lazaru

Da Vinci?

Vintage arsenal! Cry like girls whenever it doesn't go your way, blame all and sundry and complain about stuff your own players do all the time to other teams. Bolton are awful and have helped make the prem as shite as it is, but like many teams they know arsenal are a bunch of whinging spoilt pricks who can be be taken care of by the football equivalent of a school bully picking on a little kid in the playground! As for Bolton, they're just as bad in other ways with cheats and divers, surrounding refs and basically spoiling the game at all opportunities, but when they do it to Arsenal it is undeniably funny.

I'm surprised at Fat Fred doing this. We're the "geordie nation" and as such we're hard as nails and its only southern nancy boys (and Gemmill) who need scarves! I don't see any harm in the idea tbh, though i haven't worn a scarf since i was about 5 and won't take one myself.

So who's won the toss then?

I know. She asked me today how I'd feel if we were together and she was spending time with him (same uni class, generally just friends). I told her I'd be quite jealous because of what she does when she spends time with me - surely she'd be tempted to kiss him if the roles were reversed. I think she pretty much accepted that was true. I'm not particularly wanting to get with this girl, though, I just want her to stop trying to have me as a plan-b boyfriend. It's not nice for me and definitely not nice for him. I do still want to be friends with her, though Personally i couldn't be friends with somebody like that, but its a shame for you as based on experiences of people i know, you probably won't be able to stay friends with her. It always ends badly if you do get involved and if she won't stop and just keeps messing you (and him) about then eventually you'll know you have to move on. I suppose your only choice is to be incredibly direct and blunt in telling her exactly how things are going to be if she wants to keep you as a friend and then you will have to stick to them (sober and drunk!) so she knows you mean business, then you'll see if she wants you as a friend without being able to msess you about.

Her behaviour is appalling to both her boyfriend and you and says everything about her. Even if your ideal situation arose and she chose you and dumped him she'd do the same and cheat on you, and even if by some small chance she didn't you'd be constantly thinking she was. This has happened to two of my mates, it ruined ones life for quite a while as he had a "relationship" with somebody's partner on and off for ages and the other one was being treat like crap and played for a fool by a lass. I told them both to get out right at the start as people who would do this stuff aren't worth bothering with.

Not only are you dropping the better bowler, you are pickign somebody who has barely played any cricket in a year! With Jones and Giles its clear that Warne was right, the management definitely have their favourites. Obviously i hope Giles has a stormer with bat and ball and that Jones does likewise with bat and glove, but i'd have went with the other two myself.

Oh dear, I guess you lot are too young to know the likes of Frank Swift, and our own Ronnie Simpson I'm going off what my Dad told me, who was born in 1945 btw, as much as anything. And the footage I've seen backs it up tbh. Even though the likes of us weren't there (though you'd be nearer to being there than me ) from any of the footage you see, you can tell the standard of goal keeping was alot lower in those days. Some of it is downright abysmal and looks like its a joke or needs the benny hill theme being played over it!

I haven't read Noel's comments, but he hasn't got an album out by any chance has he??? I mean normally Liam would just act like a cock and slag off some other people in music to try and shift some records, but maybe Noel is more creative!

Is his missus a professional dancer like? Or is she classed as a celeb in Aus? I hope his missus didn't run off with a professional dancer. Classic sledging material. There was a good sledging thing in the papers this morning from a previous ashes series. It was some, one cap wonder type who came out to bat for England and Mark Waugh said: "What are you doing out here, you're not good enough to play for England" and this bloke replied: " Maybe not, but at least i'm the best player in my family!" Not as good as the one Botham said to Rodney Marsh before. Or the one to McGrath about his wife and the biscuits! Eddo Brandes isn't an Englishman though. Rod Marsh, late Seventies: “How's your wife and my kids?” Ian Botham: “The wife's fine – the kids are retarded.” I know, but its a favourite of mine! Havn't heard that Botham one for quite a while!

Is his missus a professional dancer like? Or is she classed as a celeb in Aus? I hope his missus didn't run off with a professional dancer. Classic sledging material. There was a good sledging thing in the papers this morning from a previous ashes series. It was some, one cap wonder type who came out to bat for England and Mark Waugh said: "What are you doing out here, you're not good enough to play for England" and this bloke replied: " Maybe not, but at least i'm the best player in my family!" Not as good as the one Botham said to Rodney Marsh before. Or the one to McGrath about his wife and the biscuits!

Is his missus a professional dancer like? Or is she classed as a celeb in Aus? I hope his missus didn't run off with a professional dancer. Classic sledging material. There was a good sledging thing in the papers this morning from a previous ashes series. It was some, one cap wonder type who came out to bat for England and Mark Waugh said: "What are you doing out here, you're not good enough to play for England" and this bloke replied: " Maybe not, but at least i'm the best player in my family!"

Seconded! They were summed up quite well by Mark Lamarr on Buzzcocks when he said something like: "Jamiroquai signed a 6 album deal when they started out, the record company should have specified six different albums!" Anyway don't like their music and JK is a twat, and as Snakehips said, it was hilarious when JK tried picking a fight with a photographer because the bloke was a shortarse and he stuck the nut on JK and smashed his face in!

As wrong about the series as you often are about rock/metal music on here! The series is excellent, though as Alex said, in some quarters it suffers from some people overdoing it and calling it the greatest sitcom in history etc. You may be right about his stand-up as what i have seen of it, isn't tha impressive. Don't see how he's a cock though as all he seems to have done is say what Richards' said was offensive, which he's entitled to do. He did seem to be going somewhere then just stood there shouting "Nigger" alot as somebody pointed out!!! Whilst the other bloke just kept saying it was uncalled for. They both needed a bit more material tbh!

Nice work Wullie!

George best wasn't fit to lace Pele's viagra tbh!

Look up the sexual practice of tea bagging on t'internet A kna what that is man, but i divnt kna what Mancy's on about?! It was just a joke. I was playing on the concept of shaved bollocks and open mouths and exploiting the ambiguity caused by the fact that there were no other eye witnesses on here. For the record everyone, Luke didnt actually plant his baby smooth plums in Thompson's gob. That's not what you told me via PM!!!

Oliver and Roeder using Bernard's hip injury as a welcome excuse to gloss over the fact that we signed an unfit player who wasn't deemed fit to play after more than two months of intensive training? Surely not. Don't you just love it when a plan comes together!

Look up the sexual practice of tea bagging on t'internet

I really should keep me mouth shut when im pissed, shouldnt i? You promised Luke you wouldnt mention the tea-bagging incident. Ya dirty fecker!

Can't hear that now without thinking of Homer playing the pinball game 'Devils Advocate' in the Simpsons I even did a google image search the moment I typed it but to no avail. Genius. It is one of my favourite TV moments ever tbh!

Can't hear that now without thinking of Homer playing the pinball game 'Devils Advocate' in the Simpsons

You pick that up from Winehouse last night? I think she was taking the piss tbf. She was pissed! But she was saying she'd been told he did it and that she didn't know if it was true or not. She said he phones his wife just as he's near home and get her to have the CD ready so that as he walks in the door the intro plays and he shouts "Big dogs in the house" or something like that! Probably not true but the fact you can imagine him doing it says everything!

I think it would be interesting to see opinions on the Pele/Maradonna debate away from England where many people will never judge Maradonna neutrally because he had the sense to punch a ball he couldn't reach with his head to score a goal! Yes he cheated, but the fuckwitt ref and linsmen are the dicks in that scenario, Maradonna just got away with a handball. Anyway its Maradonna for me, took a pretty average team almost singlehandedly to a world cup win. Took Napoli from nowhere to a title which they haven't come close to before or since as far as i'm aware, and did the business in Spain as well. The fact that he's a bit of a nutter and possibly an arsehole as well doesn't affect how good a player he was. And the fact that the best player in the world would actually be shorter than me in no way affects my decision!!!

I think Roeder (or anyone else in a similar situation) is entitled to fidn it as offensive as any racist type chanting, though i don't think they would. To paraphrase Roeder, he's not offended by the opinion of the fuckwitts who were saying that stuff and could only be botherd by the words of somebody he actually respects. And i agree with the person who said it would be far worse and every bit as bad as racist abuse if his wife had died of a disease and people taunted him about that. Whereas mentioning he had a tumour something he's well aware of but free from now isn't going to bother him that much at IMO, but he's entitled to be botherd by it.