The Fish

He fires them to safety, and they'll soon be on the Beech

Spreadsheets are fun, but dashboards are where it's at

They weren't so well supported the last time they were in that league... 1 Aston Villa 34,558 2 Leeds United 31,524 3 Wolverhampton Wanderers 28,297 4 Sunderland 27,635 5 Derby County 27,174 6 Sheffield United 26,853 7 Sheffield Wednesday 25,995

Aye, but we're doing that anyway. Might as well have some fancy fuckery on the wing as well, right?

I like fun. I like football. I like fun football. ASM dancing about like a knobhead, beating two players then failing to track back, is more fun than Longstaff putting in a good solid shift but spudding a tap in round the post.

Wonder where they stayed

Genuinely turned it carrying a box of pillows down a corridor. Did my left ankle jumping off a fence after playing football. Never properly healed because I was a dumdum and was back playing football too early, so it's weaker than the other and it turns more often than a normal human ankle should.

He's barely played man, how can you dig him out for that when the majority of his appearances have been later on, off the bench. I trust Howe to either work out a way to incorporate Saint-Maximin's undoubted skill into the side, or to replace him. In a lot of ways he's already been replaced, no one player is as impactful as ASM, but we've made it up in the aggregate. However, I honestly think that with a proper DM, we could field ASM to great effect.

I think he'd say we can ship you out on loan to the highlands league, ya bum.

Just looking at the stats (I know, who would've guessed?), and it's making me think everybody should put some money on @Gemmill's Everton pick. I've said before how integral Pickford has been for them. There are only 4 teams whose 'keeper is conceding significantly fewer goals than you'd expect; Arsenal, Newcastle, Fulham and Everton. 3 of those 4 teams are exceeding expectations in the league. Arsenal and Newcastle aren't giving up a high number of chances (8.5 & 10.7 Shots conceded per 90) , and are usually only being beaten by high quality shots . Everton and Fulham are giving up a high number of chances (16.2 & 13.5 Sh/90) and they're conceding from all types of shots. There are only 5 teams who're scoring significantly fewer goals than you'd expect; West Ham, Everton, Wolves, Southampton and Nottingham. West Ham, Wolves and Southampton are having a decent number of shots per game (between 11.4 and 13.5 shots per 90). Trouble is, they're average shot is coming from the edge of the 18yd box, because of that, the number of goals you'd expect them to score is obviously lower. Everton don't have that excuse, they're getting into the box. Despite this, both the quality of chance and quality of shot is fucking terrible. So Everton are conceding a lot in spite of Pickford's best efforts, they're creating fuck all and even when they do create something the shots are shit. They're 4/6 to go down with Betfair.

Jersey, Shorely?

Memphis better be your nickname for Tindall, I don't want Depay associated with Sir Howe.

What the fuck am I? Chopped liver? Fuck all y'all

There are ways around that. Start with what looks like a 4-4-2 Wilson and Isak up front. Play Willock and Almiron on the flanks with Burn at LB. When we're in possession Willock and Burn can move more centrally and Trippier can push forward. Morphing into a 3-5-2 or 3-4-3 (if Almiron pushes further forward too). That way we can keep the match-ups in the centre, while having a solid base.

Interesting options, but I'm not sure that CB and 8 are the priority right now. Surely it's DM and full backs?

Fwiw, I'd be shocked if it happened. SMS doesn't really fit the age profile, or cost of our transfer policy. He's outstanding, but I'm gonna call bullshit.

Some U-Turn that. Better not try that after a pint or two.

Aye, Eddie's shown a hunger for glory and he's not going to let a silly little thing like morals stop him getting that sweet sweet competition bonus.

I've never understood this idea that the FA, the Premier League are whomever would be 'out to get' one club. Especially one like Arsenal, that has been an entrenched member of the 'Top 2', the 'Top 4', the 'Big Six' for decades. Seen it from fans of all clubs, 'THEY' are out to get them. Fuck off man.

Stood to one side, didn't it? More like the Statue of Liberty than the popular image?

Nobody in the top flight gives up more chances than Fulham. They don't press particularly enthusiastically, either. Pereira and Palhinha are their key men, if our midfield can boss them and still have an attacking threat we should do well. Ream and Adarabaiyo aren't the quickest so I'd go for through balls to catch them on the turn.

Apparently the 3 match ban costs Chelsea £1.2m

João Felix sent off for a shocking tackle.