The Fish

He creates more shooting chances than anyone else on the team, despite his greediness.

He was shite, he took a decent midtable side and turned it into relegation survivalists, the same as he's done everywhere he's been post-Bolton. Being better than McClaren or Carver isn't good enough to avoid my ire.

You're right, it's Chris Wood. And he does put in crosses, more than literally everybody else on the team. But is that good enough for scoobos? NOOoOOOooooOOooOOooOOoooo

Cool, further proof that expecting him to do the defensive work, dribble past the world, then square it to fucking Joelinton, is mental.

Aye but there was that time around 90 minutes when we were 3-1 up and taking the piss, where he danced past a couple of defenders in the box, wriggled to make room then took a shot when Bruno was free, so... y'know, not a team player or something. God you people make me infuriated! We bought him when we were shite, he's not going to be the complete package, if he was he wouldn't have signed for us.

Oh, Craig.

The fuck did I do? Also, I'm svelte now.

What happened to you? Why do you hate fun? I don't think that's fair. He's mint on the ball, has scored a few and all that. He backs himself to score more than passing to Joelinton, and with good reason. He's created twice as many chances for other teammates than anyone else. Ritchie is second and Joelinton is 3rd. Personally, I think that because he's very good, there's an expectation that he will be consistently very good. Just like the fans got on Robert's back because he wasn't blammering them in from 40yds every game.

What League are Burton Albion in these days?

In terms of our style of play, I think it's fair to say we're currently a counter-attacking side. However, I think the signings we made suggest Howe wants to evolve into a team more comfortable on the ball.

"If anyone wants to support them, they can fuck off" Well, yes, they will. That's kind of the point.

I don't remember that at all. But it 100% was.

Saw a journalist tweet in the immediate aftermath of Lascelles own goal that the crowd's reaction was one of defiance, rather than resignation. It was like the crowd wasn't going to let something as silly as going behind ruin their evening. It was class to hear St James' rocking again. How long has it been since we played that well as a collective? The players, the crowd, United.

By jove, I think he's got it,

Some thoughts, in no particular order. Winning against Everton could be pivotal for us, not just because of the other results but huge for soft victories like momentum, positivity, confidence etc. especially as we came from behind to win comfortably. The other teams failing to win is massive. It not only gets us out of bottom 3, but reminds the players that the other teams around us are poor. Norwich dropping 2pts rather than snatching 1 is demoralising. I was going to say that Everton are definitely in the mix and Brentford should be ok, but I didn’t realise most of the teams below have 2+ games on the Bees. That 6pt cushion isn’t so fluffy. I'd go so far as to say Leeds are safer than Brentford too. Hodgson is good at drilling a team and would surely improve a squad over time, but a) Watford are a mercenary squad-not really the grind it out kind of squad and b) it may be too little too late regardless. As with Norwich, Villa crumbling like that will be demoralising. It’s a shame Targett won’t be available against his parent club tl;dr

same here

The introduction of armed forces famously deescalates tensions.

Oh, Fist... I'm so disappointed in you.

Nobody has made a 'smashing that pussy' joke. I think we can all be very proud.

Orrrrr

I could clear it up in a jiffy.

I think that speaks to the core of stand up; the unexpected. Few stand ups can still get the unexpected laugh, decades into their careers.

Not really. I think he's fully aware of how awful the joke is, but I'm saying I believe he expected the crowd to be shocked, rather than encouraged. He tells jokes about rape, misogyny, murder, 'If only Africa had more mosquito nets then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of aids'. The laughter is supposed to come from people being appalled at the words and by extension the comedian, not agreeing with him. As was the case with the Gypsy joke. Just so we're clear, the above is only my opinion. I still think it's a racist joke, and he's got it wrong.

I don't think they'll go down, but the more teams in the mix, the better, if you ask me. Which you didn't but I'm telling you anyway. Reported. I feel seen. I think any squad moving from 7 days off from 11, to a pressing game was always going to take time to adjust. Remember him blaming the Sports Scientists for all the cheat days? But you only have to look at the uptick in our pressing game and how we don't look paggered by 90s minutes to see that days off doesn't get you fitter. I think Chris Wood wasn't bought for this side, I think he was bought because he was immediately available, for a palatable price. Couple of people on Twitter were saying we should have gone for Weghorst, but I honestly think if we'd try to sign him, we'd have had to have paid twice the price to get him, and he's more of a gamble than Wood is. Bruno is plenty capable of longer passes, but I think him + Willock and Joelinton in the centre (and the two fullbacks) will mean we don't need to rely on that longer passing game. It's a real shame that Targett will miss the next game, because he looked so assured at left back and that gave ASM a much better platform to start from.