The Fish

December and April are pretty brutal for Everton.

First 6 fixtures have 4-5 winnable games on paper. Hopefully by May much of the final league positions are sorted and we don't need points from Arsenal and Chelsea.

I'm in the office room at the back of the house, so having a Ring doorbell means I can tell the delivery person to wait, or leave the package somewhere, without needing to come away from the call or, more realistically, the game of football manager. The Mrs is either out at Baby yoga, baby sensory, baby dance, just meeting friends for a coffee, or dealing with a hungry/sleepy baby so can't answer the door.

You think I hadn't thought of that? And you're right, nobody in their right mind would have it on.

They're a ballache and no mistake. There's no way for me to fuck around with the field of vision so that I don't get alerts when next door is getting something delivered, and as my Mrs is on Mat leave she's singlehandedly keeping Amazon's stock price high. Don't think it's pushed me to bringing about the downfall of society yet, but never say never.

When you start in the gutter, there's only one way to go. No I didn't... does this mean I go down again?

Assassinated Spencer Perceval

I know, He means brown people, or the wrong kind of white people.

Or is it genius? That selection misstep may have made him less attractive to the Manchester United board? Modern problems need modern solutions.

It's the same dissonance that has them believe each of their young players will go for £30m+, or that they 'belong' in the Premier League. The biggest myth of all, that they've got great support. They have big attendance for their situation, but it's a stretch to same the Stadium of Light home crowd are particularly supportive.

At a certain age, from any generation's position, isn't culture in a continuous state of decline? I can't imagine the older people of the 20s thought much for the new fads, regardless of how they might have roared. The OAPs would have hated the 60s, 70s and so on. I hate modern music and think the tiktok generation is toxic, but what the fuck do I know?

Mag-Like behaviour.

Nope.

You know every year we get two or three university students coming on here surveying our takes on supporting Newcastle? If a Psychology student wants to make a name for themselves, they should study the behaviours seen on RTG.

Have you tried not having sweatboxes every Friday night?

I'd like to see the ages of those jumping ship.

Howe needs regular training sessions to get his methods across. Who the fuck would be the England manager? Massive expectations from the media and a subset of the fans, no time to work with the players and a country that is years behind others in terms of financing coaches and young players. Fuck. That.

Application for Team Bed Wetter is already in the post.

I used to have a job supporting the MET Police, and did 7-7 shifts, the night shifts being just two of us and the security guard in the office. Each of the lads who hadn't yet turned 40 would turn up in messy states from time to time, but the understanding was that you'd immediately go "On A Call" for an hour to sort yourself out, and not take an hour for your break later on. I remember getting a call at 6pm to cover when I was out for a mates birthday at the time and pretty soused already. The hour I took was not nearly enough to sober up and so the bloke I was on with kindly let me fuck off to the boardroom to sleep it off. He didn't wake me until 5, and only because he wanted to give me enough time to get freshened up and catch me up on what I'd missed before the handover. I miss Clayton.

Looking forward to the Fake Sheikh secretly videoing him downing a pint of wine after explaining some trade secrets, like how to get an in-cell bar chart by using the Rept function in Excel?

Got the kids' kit delivered today. Badge looks cheap and likely to come away after a few washes, for what it's worth.

Does his nonsense put any extra pressure on you? I'd be fucking livid if I was having to mop up someone else's mess because they couldn't get their shit together.