The Fish

xG and xPts are just a way to represent the quality of chances made and allowed. What they show is that if one team is high up the table despite allowing more good chances than they make, that team's position is unsustainable. You mention Villa, they can only play that risky style effectively when Martinez is fit. So if he gets injured midgame, the wise and informed observer would do well to cash out before the inevitable collapse xG doesn't tell the whole story, it can't. But it can give you insight without having to pore over hours of another team's games. The point of xG isn't to consider the quality of the player, his fatigue or anything like that. It's deliberately averaging out everyone from Beto to Batistuta. to give you a baseline from which you can judge a player (or a team). Only the bottom 3 and West Ham give up more chances, the former are because they're not very good, the latter because they choose to play a counter-attack style which by it's very nature invites possession and opportunities around the West Ham box. Man Utd are bottom half for chances created too (behind the likes of Brentford and Everton.) Those two stats point to a problem with their style, it says to me that they're overreliant on their goalkeeper making unlikely saves, and over reliant on their outfield players scoring from unlikely chances. Their game against Liverpool e.g. they scored twice from 0.81xG and yet only conceded twice from 4.43xGA. Run that game 1000 times and Liverpool comfortably win it 900 times. I can't be arsed to do it right now, but I'd like to see, for each of Man Utd's goals, what value was given to the chance. I'd be pretty confident that they're scoring when they've no right to.

Morale is through the floor. Apparently on of Jimmy's first acts was to send an email round telling all the departments that they're in a shit state and need to sort it out. He said that after monitoring it was noticed that emails were down 25% on Fridays, so that must mean the staff are 25% less productive on a Friday. According to this lad, plenty of people are 'looking for new opportunities'.

That is Ten Hag's only tactic. If they drop points against Palace and Arsenal they'll be on 56pts max. Arsenal are still fighting for the title. Palace are still fighting to reclaim the league position they see as their own; 12th.

Pipe down, Longbenton Entrance.

Well, his first name is James. Bit of an odd one, but nice enough.

It'll be decided at the game at Old Trafford. Mark my words. FUCKING MARK THEM, YOU TOILET!

Plus they rolled out the black and white carpet for us when we got promoted.

Makes Sheffield's defensive record look even worse

I agree with most of this. But I'd only sell Longstaff and Almiron if we got big bids for them. They have value as squad players that would be expensive to replace. Take Almiron for example, how much would we need to spend on a PL quality right winger? Barnes and Gordon were both c£40m. There's no guarantee that Minteh is ready for the PL, especially at the level we are aiming for. And playing Barnes or Gordon on the right is playing them out of position. I'd want Silly Saudi money for him. Speaking of sales, everyone is saying that if need to sell it'll be Bruno or Isak. But, what about Barnes or Gordon? We'd get big money for either of them and we've got the other as a ready replacement.

@Gemmill has a new nickname. If any mod wants to update his quote, that'd be swell.

The husband of a friend of Mrs Fish works for Man Utd as an art director (I know) and lives in West Yorkshire. When he learned Jim Fixed It for them to work from the office full time, he was straight onto the recruiters to find a new job. "It's bad enough spending 2 days a week in that shit show" And he's a Man Utd fan

Brings a whole different meaning to "Saw Nobby on the bugle last night"

1-2 Isak penalty to win it.

Oh sweet summer child, you'll know when I get started.

He's not got the fastest acceleration, but decent when he gets going. Hopefully Pope stays fit.

He's got a great range of passing to be honest. Good at passing through the lines. Big fucker too. And if we're getting him for no fee, that's tickety boo.

Tats the way to do it.

Klopp gone, plus Chelsea, Man Utd maybe changing manager again. If Guardiola's going that blows the top of the league open for the chaos to reign. Arteta and Howe sharing knowing smirks as Emery and Ange persist with a suicidal high line. Everton relegated for financial irregularities. 24/25 sewn up nicely.

I don't like it. But it's not on my arm or my son's arm, so

So, essentially every slasher movie ever?

Yeah, like Gloomy says, to sell to a domestic opponent we'd need enough money to replace him (either directly or in the aggregate), enough money to ensure we don't look like soft touches and enough money to placate the fans. Bruno isn't just our best player, he's a symbol of the new Newcastle, he's adored by the fans, and by extension the owners and execs get credit for him. Sell him to a PL club and all that disappears.

Rashford? I mean, where would you play him? Gordon owns that position.

Bet you didn't know Ferry across the Mersey is really a County Durham classic? Original went "Ferry, across the shit stream" Same as Sweet Home Alabama, which was originally Sweet Home Pelaw Marra.