David Kelly

It's yet to be confirmed as otherwise.

Well done trophyshy, that's the only way to deal with Fish's mindless optimism

"I never thought back in 1991 that I would end up speaking to him as a journalist while he was manager of Newcastle United!" I don't think anyone would have ever thought that of either of you two fuckwits Lee!

I've been waiting for that.

Oh I think it's quite lear he likes to antagonise the fans. It's not his main aim but I'm certain he enjoys it. I think he'll appoint someone who is a risk because (one or all of) it'll be cheaper, he likes a gamble or he's fucking clueless about what's really needed. But my only real expectation is that it won't be someone who can move us any further forward than Pardew could. And that's nothing to be optimistic about. It's simply not good enough.

Based on the fact that other that Pardew all Ashley has done is panic when appointing a manager? That Pardew is an example of not panicing is hilarious in itself.

Neither option covers the way I feel about it. Are we more likely to down than three of QPR, Burnley, The Tramps, Villa, Leicester or Hull? No I would say that it's more likely that one of the other four will join QPR & Burnley. Are we sitting pretty though? Are we fuck. I think it now looks likely that Villa & Leicester will finish above us on the basis that we look like we have fuck all going for us in terms of ability and fight. And it's quite possible that the makems and Hull could pick up a couple of wins in their remainings games (they certainly look more likely than us at the minute).

Tell me you did just use the fact that his other appointments have been out of panic as a reason to expect more from his next appointment!

If they or their people tried to stop me going in I wouldn't be putting up a fight put it that way.

I think you're just hoping without any real justification there. Yes you can expect it's not another muppet who'll headbutt a player but beyond that it's finger in the air stuff. There's nothing other than luck that would be a reason for achieving the other things you say.

TBF I wouldn't say for certain that any of the managers I mentioned would be worse than Pardew but I am sure they're no better. They are all around the level I would expect him to go for if they would be cheap enough. If they're under contract that's more than likely a non starter there!

I downloaded the leak of Blur's new one which turned out to be a load of B-Sides and Damon solo stuff. I'm not sure if I actually like it better than the real album. Although I've listened to the real thing loads over the past few days and it's really growing on me now. Not a patch on Think Tank though.

Maybe AO.com can raise some money to get the Sayers to employ the same tactics outside the ground for us?

Really? The makems have arguably found worse in their last two permanent appointments. Is Steve Bruce any better? Is Nigel Pearson? Is Neil Warnock? All these might be better than Carver, who I do think was literally the worst realistic choice they could have gone for, but that doesn't make them better than a poor Pardew. I, like Gloomy, just look at our recent managerial appointments and were any of them any better than Pardew? Fish has also said that Pardew did exactly what Ashley wanted. If that's so then why would Ashley even bother looking for someone better? Pardew wasn't well paid compared to other managers so if he could get someone cheap to do exactly what he wants why pay any more?

There's plenty of games left that could save us. Hull have a rotten run in and so do the tramps. But who would have thought Hull would pick up 6 points from 6 away to the mighty Pardew and Palace and at home to the wall pushers? Who would have thought the tramps would have got a draw from Chelski earlier in the season and who would have thought Burnley would take 4 points from Citeh. There's certainly ample history of things more strange happening that what it would take for us to go down now.

Thanks for clearing that up. Can I ask why you have any confidence whatsoever that we'll get better than Pardew?

I wish I could have your confidence. Before Saturday I really thought we'd pick up points in the run in but now that doesn't look at all likely. And all of the teams below us are picking up some points. Yes it will take quite a bit from a few poor teams for us to go down but one round of bad results and we could be a couple of points outside the bottom three. Its insane not to be concerned now.

Can we expect an improvement on thise seasons rich tea biscuits in next seasons forum? Seriously though, what's the fucking point. These people are proven liars and side steppers of questions. There will be no significant answers whatsoever.

I agree with this. I don't think we'll be seen as bad to European managers who are used to working in a very similar environment. Some of them are also used to working for fuckwit owners. Where I definitely agree with Gloomy is that Ashley's lack of knowlege of and desire to appoint any of these managers makes it irrelevant whether they would come or not. I'm getting a bit confused as to what Fish actually thinks will happen now. On the one hand you seem to have some optimism that there will be an improvement and on the other it sounds like you're suggesting we're heading for another Pardew. Is your optimism only that we'll have better than Carver?

My sheer will to keep this place going. And the enjoyment of arguing with Fish. But mainly the complete boredom of being an accountant!

Ok sorry, I thought we'd already come to an agreement that Carr is decent and we were on to comparing us to Stoke now. Of course I agree that with the restrictions we have, Carr is doing well and we would seriously struggle to do better when you have Ashley, Pardew and Carver (I don't really see the need to include Woodman. I don't have any great liking for him but given his role is goalkeeping coach I don't see him doing that much damage either) fucking any good things does up.

There's a few areas there that I think are a bit short (Aaron is questionable since we've hardly seen anything of him and and centreback isn't great still) but yes that's pretty good. I assume what you mean by that first bit is that all Stokes success (fuck me am I arguing Stoke as a success? Shows how bad we are) is down to their Management/Coaching and transfer policy rather than their scouts and ours, as limited as it is, is all down to Carr and despite of our managers/coaches and transfer policy? Come on, looking at them impartially Stokes scouts as part of a teams have been more of a sucess than ours. That isn't a dig at Carr as such, again I'm just pointing out he's no superman.

Stoke's sales there look incredibly low. Going by Ashley's ideas they should certainly have been relegated by now!

Beacuse Stoke by tradition and brand a smaller club than us who are spending less money than us and acheiving better results. Ok they aren't recouping as much in but do you think their fans give a fuck about that? I suppose I should have said that I'm basing success on what it does for the football team rather than the accounts.

Yeah this season Villa have looked more at getting some experience in. I was thinking more about the last couple of season when they'd signed the likes of Benteke, Okore, Bacuna etc. They haven't yet cashed in on the like of Benteke and Okore but both have had bad injuries. That's probably why their net spend has been high. But I'm agreeing with you that they haven't perfomed as well as us. I agreed the first time you said it. It was the teams other than Villa and Sunderland that I said was unfair to match up against us. Actually stoke was fair and we come up short.