David Kelly

Whilst you can’t defend Joelinton it has to be said that our midfield was completely incapable of holding on to the ball or doing anything with it. Wilson would undoubtedly hold the ball better than Joelinton and allow others to get closer to him, but if we ever have to play those two in the middle of the park in the premier league we’ll get tortured. If we’re going to ever get anything out of him then we’re going have to give him more to work with also.

For all Wood is a joy to watch steaming in and obviously a massive threat with his pace, I doubt he would have been able to keep it as tight as the likes of Curran(s). I know he actually had the best economy in the first match but keeping it really tight just isn’t his game.

That was a fantastic combination of superb bowling and and an Aussie collapse on Sunday. Really looking forward to the decider on Wednesday.

The Boys is just about the best antidote to marvel at the moment. Des was canny last night. Never realised that Dennis Nielsen was Scottish.

Think part of the hate comes from the thought that we keep seeing him playing poorly yet he gets in the England team in Hayden doesn’t get a look in. I’m also in the couldn’t give a fuck about England camp combined with Hayden isn’t close to being an international camp.

Looked a lot better than I expected us to be a couple of weeks ago. All the new boys looked good and Carroll had his best game since his return. Have to temper it of course with West Ham being dog shit but you can’t complain about that for a start to the season.

You can rely on Luke Edwards for the piss on our chips version of events.

He’ll be under contract for at least another 4 years I imagine and was easily our best player last season after costing us around £20m. I assume you’d have to be looking at a good £40m minimum. Mind if that’s what Joelinton was worth then you’ve got to at least double that.

Hung herself I've heard. Terrbile thing to have happened.

To be fair, they're all more likely to get goals than our current shower.

His Wiki page says he played most of the games for the last three seasons so I'm not sure about injury prone. His goal scoring hasn't been great for a side of similar ability other than that season before last (which was also when Frazer got 14 assists). I would say he's clearly an upgrade on what we have but certainly not someone who's going to get the pulse racing unless he can find that form of a couple of years ago. But my expectations are so low of what we can expect to bring in at this stage, he'd be a very positive move for us.

I'm far from wanting to see the back of Ritchie but if we got Wilson in as part of it and then got Frazer in on a free that would represent good business for a club as shit as us.

The proposed and completed signings all look fucking terrible. Third choice keepers, midfielders Burnley don’t want, centre backs worse than our fifth choice, second strikers when we don’t have a number 9 worth the name and some left back back who would cost about the same as me. Last summer we smashed our transfer record (allegedly) as well as signing one of the brightest prospects in ligue 1 and we were still the worst team I saw all season, with the possible exception of Bournemouth when we played them down there. This is going to be a fucking slog and I really don’t know if I have the stomach for it any more.

Yeah I think it’s all about following the basic plot. I’ve no idea what was happening when twilight boy was pulling them out of the cave. To be honest I had no idea who they were fighting against. But I just went with the ride. I can totally get why anyone wouldn’t like it.

I enjoyed Tenet. I’ve no idea what was happening a lot of the time but I don’t think I was supposed to. If you liked Inception I’d think you might like this. If you didn’t I wouldn’t bother with it.

He starts today in a friendly against Crewe if anyone is remotely interested.

He's barely playing into his early 30's man. On the rare occasions that he does play these days he looks a shadow of what he was. If he wasn't here he'd have retired now I reckon.

Another shite signing for a shite club. As inspiring as our manager. Only positive I can take from it is that it should allay any fears of us signing Bentaleb.

I remember my mam tutting all the way through Robocop when I watched that as a bairn. Strangely though all that bothered her was the swearing, Murphy getting shot to fuck, ED209 on the rampage or Emil getting covered in acid and then driven through didn't seem to concern her. Actually neither Bob Morton sniffing coke off a hookers tits but I assume that was because she didn't have a clue what was happening.

The stats at test level don't really back up Rashid or Moeen as a bowler over the other two. Leach has comfortably the best bowling average of the four spinners although that's obviously at a much smaller sample size than Ali. Unsurprisingly Ali has the best batting average but it's not actually that much better than Bess. I think the way he's been moved up and down the order probably hasn't helped him but it shows how much they rate his ability.

When Woakes came in it also seemed (judging from TMS as I'd went out and missed from Root getting out to well into Buttler and Woakes partership) that there was no way they were going to be able to sit on their bowlers and just try to pick off the really bad balls and slowly get the runs. At that time it certainly appeared that if they did that there would be a ball with their name on it just around the corner. So they really had no option but to go into one day mode. I think this helped them both and it was what lead to that pressure on their attack. It will be interesting to see if that changes how we play them in the next two games. I mean I don't doubt that Burns and Sibbley (and presumably Crawley with Stokes missing) will continue to play their own games slowly trying to wear down their bowlers. But will Root, Buttler & possibly one of Bracey or Lawrence (Pope seems to play this way anyway so not much is likely to change from him) play in a way to put more pressure on their young/inexperienced attack?

This all aged well . Great performance from him and Butler on Saturday. It showed the weakness in Pakistan's attack when you go at them and things start going wrong for them they don't react well for all the talent they have. Makes the rest of the series very interesting.

I'm not at all convinced by the balance of this side with Woakes batting so high. It's even more of a worry when you look at Woakes batting over the last year or so. Not to mention the batting of the captain recently. These look like they have a really good attack but we seem to be having to work really hard against whoever we come up against at the moment even when we are putting a decent score together.

Unhinged. A proper throwback to the 90's. 90 minutes long and cross between Falling Down and The Hitcher. Full of holes but I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Don't think I've got the energy to get remotely interested in any other bidders now.