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Mary had a little lamb she also had a duck...

Has your sister seen Woody's hair lately? Welcome kidda.

The world according to Alan Oliver is a beautiful place full of trees and fairies.

To add a bit of positive, I bet this was what the Everton forums were like this time last year.

Those were the days, outclassing Berwick.

Vaughan needs a century, for his own good more than anything. Straus seems to be struggling slightly as well.

Jesus was an alien. Mary 'visited' by a strange apparation and then pregnant? She blatantly left out the bit about the anal probe.

Come on Rob, catch up son. Our board seem to have no long term vision or plans, they seem to be making it up as we go along. It wouldn't surprise me if our transfer policy involves a globe which FF makes Souness close his eyes and stick a pin in. 'Ghana eh? Right, think of a player who's name begins with B and I'll get the plane tickets sorted.'

Oooh you are awful... ...but I do like you.

99% of all referees have no father.

I think the failure to bring in two half decent centre forwards has been piss poor imo. It looks like Fat Fred was trying to be a clever shite with the Boa Morte business as well and flex the 'big club' muscles. The arrogant tit probably thought Fulham are such a poor club that they would give in to him, which they're not. In the process he's made us look stupid AGAIN. It's a shame because I think Emre and Parker look decent, and Boa Morte plus one half decent centre froward would imo have given us a good shout at Europe this season. It comes down to two factors really; 1) Our obsessions with hiring only British managers - Souness number 3 choice behind Bruce and Allardyce in our 'list'. Fingers burnt with Gullit, big fucking deal, get over it. 2) I actually think what happened to Leeds has scared the shit out of our board and we're less likely to take a financial gamble. Anyone who says 'what about the Rooney bid' should go and stand in the corner for 45 minutes.

Ultimately, Shepherd and the Board are to blame for the mess we're in. We were massivly underwhelmed when Souness came in because we all pretty much guessed he was nowhere near the answer. In fact, as far as answers go, he was like writing 'I like to masturbate' as an answer to a Geography question.

I'm out on a stag do straight after. Which means I have to go to the match looking and smelling like a tart.

Well, as our resident cancer, I feel he does have some explaining to do. But seriously, he is the only one I can think of off hand on this forum who backs Souness, so I think it's a fair point. 10277[/snapback] I don't think Gemmill backs Souness as such, I think he's maybe in the camp of sacking him early on with no replacement lined up could be a poorer decision than letting him stay till the end of the season.

Brett Lee also in. Aussies shitting themselves here a bit?

Due to our current plight, he's also going to have to learn to play centre forward.

The pressure needs to be taken off Talyor at the moment. There is no doubt the kid has talent, but he needs to stop; a) kicking people in the head on high balls, depsite the comedy value this has given us. b ) stop getting himself booked through petulance, which he's done a few times. I know the lad is lercal and giving his all but he needs to calm down a bit. I hate to see young players set up so high by the fans, especially with out history of being fical and turning on them when it's not going right. Parker or Boumsong for me, not that arsed as it's not an important role anymore.

Where we've just moved there is a shared driveway, but being nice I let the lass donwstairs keep the parking spot as she has a young un. However, I have a wanker taxi driver neighbour and his wife who have two cars and keep parking one right in front of my flat. Nowt I can do about it, it's a public road so no-one has a claim to it, but they're just being selfish bastids. That's what you get for trying to be nice.

One thing I remember about the first time I saw Isegrim was just how German he actually looks. This is my back, with the away top and Shearer on it, left hand side of this bloke;

I stopped watching it early on as it came across as a bit snobbish. They started taking the piss a little bit which is a bit unfair, especially as the first two 'worst' places were two wards of severe deprevation caused by an industry collapse. Hardly the fault of a lot of people who live there. Surprise surprise, the 'best' places I saw were London commuter zones. They also created some sort of unexplained rule where a London district only appeared once despite the fact they were looking at all 400-odd districts in the country. Poorly done imo.

Highest crime percentages per head of the population.

Why did you want to kill Wtdog?