Mr Lahey

There's only one shit eating scene in the human centipede unfortunately. The guy at the front even says sorry as he does it. Very polite are the japs

Just reminded me I still haven't heard Laura Marling's new one

The Human Centipede wasn't as shit as it looks tbh. With a good director and a better script and better actors and a bit more of a plot it could have been half decent.

I'll be there too. Should be quality

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2...15875-22382587/ Crazed gun killer Raoul Moat wants to go out in a blaze of glory, it was claimed last night. The sister of the girlfriend he critically wounded says the fugitive is too cowardly to take his own life. And she believes he would prefer “death by cop” – being gunned down in a hail of bullets. Kelly Stobbart, 27, spoke out as half-sister Samantha fought for life after being shot by ex-bouncer Moat. He also murdered Samantha’s new boyfriend and later blasted an unarmed PC as he sat in his patrol car. Mum-of-two Kelly warned: “He’s a nutter and he’s definitely not going to give himself up. We are all terrified that he’s coming after us.” Kelly, who is in hiding, added: “He’s a coward and he hasn’t got the bottle to shoot himself. He’d want a stand off with the police, so they’ll either have to wound or kill him. He wants to be known as a guy who went to prison because he shot a load of coppers or who died trying.” Kelly said 22-year-old Samantha had been infatuated with Moat, 37. She added: “She thought he was the bees knees. Her problem was she couldn’t see beyond his muscles, rippling biceps, and six-pack. “He’s all chest but he had a tiny waist and could fit into a pair of my size eight jeans. But he’s got a face like a horse chewing a wasp. You wouldn’t say that to his face though. He thinks he’s God’s gift but he’s the ugliest man I’ve seen.” Advertisement - article continues below » Kelly said Moat was madly jealous and that he and Sam would often row, forcing her to flee to relatives. But he would always “sweettalk” her back. “We all told her she was a fool for doing it.” Kelly claimed Moat, released on Thursday after serving two months for assaulting a relative, was hooked on steroids. She said: “They make him completely unpredictable. He also injects himself with tanning drugs to keep himself brown. “He would wander around the local supermarket in skin-tight jeans and sleeveless T-shirts, thinking all the girls were loving it.” Kelly claimed Moat had underworld contacts in Newcastle and believes they could be hiding him. “He is involved with some very shady people,” she said. Club doorman Tony Laidler, a childhood friend of Moat, said the body-builder would “do anything” to avoid spending the rest of his life in jail. Mr Laidler, 35, added: “He’ll never give himself up. It looks like he’s lost the plot completely. He’s been getting angrier and angrier the last few years – but I never thought he’d go this far.” Read more: http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2.../#ixzz0slcSGdZc What a lass

Might as well give a plug to my mates band http://www.myspace.com/lanternsonthelake Just played Glastonbury last weekend, playing the NARC festival in a couple of weeks

Then after two weeks bake her a cake with "IT'S A BOY" written on it. See if the fat hooah even notices

Don't know why I thought I could click on that about 50 times and not crash a netbook

News just in.....

What did you say when she asked why you want to work there?

even if it's just more of the same

Aye you're right. The stupid twats went their rugby tops on

Thank fuck for that. I was £30 quid down with paddy power so I opened a betclic account to get the £20 deal. Italy fucked that treble up before it even got going but i never got round to taking the returned £20 back out. Won £7.50 on Uruguary today so decided to whack it all on Argies -1 at 5/4. Nearly cum when Palermo scored. Withdrew the 60 quid before I did anything stupid like put it all on an England win. So £10 up and I wont feel bad about putting some more in for the next stage.

I was refreshing like a sad cunt at 6 oclock when it came out. Downloaded and installed fine. Must have just been lucky. Went to take a picture before and it was freezing like fuck which has never happened before. Now I've double clicked the home button and deleted the apps along the bottom its taking pictures faster than ever. This could become a bit of a ball ache

Canny, nothing to shit ya pants over though. Glad to have the folders because I've got too many apps.

Got s Suzuki Swift 1.2 at the minute. Geremi could outrun it. While giving Kevin Nolan a piggyback

The times they a can fuck off

Die in your sleep please. kthxbye

I used to cycle through the Ridges when I was 11............... very very quickly On your penny farthing etc etc

Do I win anything for getting that bit right?

Would rather get raped by Man U first game than someone like Wigan

Blanco looks like a younger Johnny Sack

Got £3 on Dos Santos Best bets when you're a neutral i reckon

Ive got 3 quid on Vela first scorer so it fucking pains me to say good call by the linesman. But aye, well done

A fiver on all 8 favourites to win their group returns £162. Wonder which cunt will let me down. France probably