Monkeys Fist

I have just been informed by the Fistress that I have one hour to get ready to go out. Giddup!!!

Was the Grassy Knoll astroturfed?

Keep it in the microwave

I'd imagine those occasions when I'm at the checkout and remember an item I've missed, so I run back into the shop whilst Chanisse scans my stuff, then waits for me to come back , would send Gemmill into Supernova mode.

Have a sick one you twisted example of human detritus. Here's a few pairs of massive boobs for you

The fact it was sung by a camp dinosaur was the clincher.

And then I'll take as long as I want, chatting, re-packing, etc, and fuck everyone else, especially the lanky ginger bloke behind with one earplug in, thumping his chest as he gets more irate.

C. Every time.

Right boys- you have 24 hours to make a dish of my choosing, pics posted with a handwritten note as proof of authenticity. Up for it? @@Ayatollah Hermione @ Christmas tree

And the self service tills, or " fast track tills" as Morrisons call them- no way are they faster than getting a minion staffed till.

I'm there to buy goods. Take my money or fuck off

FFS, I'm just glad I didn't say they were free range eggs.

As you were.

Did you drop your kebab?

Well done on the sperm btw.

Btw, tip of the day re. Poached eggs- put the intact egg , in its shell, in your poaching water for 20 seconds or so then crack the eggs and cook as normal. It sets the white just enough to stop the egg disintegrating to nowt.

Me too- 2 poached eggs on seeded rye bread for tea. Having just taken my daughter and 8 schoolmates to Build a Bear and the Northside Diner in Fenwicks for her 6th birthday party, I'm just in the mood to eat rare steak washed down with copious amounts of wine. Bugger!

Maybe she hasn't been charging, hence CT's "mild irritation".

After