Monkeys Fist

I take it you’re unfamiliar with international hit, Pigeons in Flight, then? ( stick with it, he does it eventually ).

Bloody hell Fish!

Only partly delivered, which our erstwhile hero will only discover after he starts building them- multiple exasperated calls to “Michael” in the call-centre in Delhi later, our plucky apprentice joiner gives up and buys a cheap replacement from B&Q… … which will be missing parts.

Call me cynical, but whichever one is cut, these cunts aren’t doing it out of benevolence. It’s purely to make their successors look shit when they inevitably have to raise it again to fix the fuck ups they’ve inherited.

Which one of the several potential calamities possible here is the one we think will DEFINITELY happen to Renton, then?

Identify with the lyrics?

Two of my favourite things.

A lorry carrying 10,000 terrapins has crashed on the A189 at Ashington. It’s said to be turtle carnage.

Different kind of literature. I prefer a more jazz-oriented publication.

Tonight Matthew, I’m going to be Wykiki

The Premier League hasn’t had a true arbiter of rightness since the world’s most inherently moral and classy club dropped out of it 7 seasons ago.

I started reading their thread but had to pull out and think of hippos as I nearly popped early.

Eddie getting the news this afternoon …

Crazy bastard married Dobbie the house elf.

I've just got a gig as the triangle player in a Reggae band. Piece of piss tbh , I just stand at the back and ting.

JYP

Are you an accountant now Fish? What happened?

Nice see such a positive attitude

Filled up with filthy whooers this morning.

The replies to that first tweet are giving me a raging boner. I fucking love how much we’re hated

But, the points aren’t a negative number, are they? They are 10 positive points (numbers), which are being deducted from their points total , also a positive number. 14-10 = 4. Lick… Iz.

Excellent stuff gents. Thankee.