Monkeys Fist

My Grandad spoke Pitmatic, with the rolled R, used the full old fashioned vocabulary- Thee, Thou and Thow, He’d “gern ti the netty” , pit ponies were cuddies, his flat cap was a dutt, had his favourite gansey , sweets were kets, he’d collect sheep and rabbit “dottles” to put on his roses I’ve mentioned before that my old man had a tape of him talking to me and my brother when we were 5 and 3, we both clearly understood him and were prattling away in response to him quite happily on the tape, but listening to it years later he was almost unintelligible. I was gutted when my old man’s unhinged* wife “lost” the tape, as it was not only a lovely thing to have personally, but from a social history view it was a record of a dialect that’s now virtually disappeared. *the tales of her psycho behaviour are a whole other story

Aye, that’s how ah got the hornier.

Kangaroo stampede interrupts golfers… https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/world-australia-68501403 The bloke actually says “fair dinkum”

Berb went to the Doctor ” What seems to be the problem Mr. Rerbson?” Berb points at his groin and says “ The Mrs. says I’m getting hornier” Doctor chuckles and says ” Well, I don’t think that’s a problem, is it Berb?” Berb says ” Whey, how’ll ah lift me prize leeks on to the Sher Chebbles with me insides hinging oot?”

A hairdresser in Bomarsund put up a sign saying ” Braids- £20” Locals were outraged and said you could get a stottie and a sliced white for £3:50 at Greggs.

Sherd in Guidepost, hurn.

Ah hord he wiz vary saird, poor blerk.

Baird breath

Also

About fucken time you work shy shithouse.… Only joking!

Needing something gentle and relaxed to ease you in to another hard day’s accounting?

You know that Southampton was founded by a Basque sailor from Bilbao, who brought a load of spare shirts from his club (which was definitely founded by Sunderland, I’ve seen the prewf ! )so I’d expect them to pay some respect to their true founders and only put 3-4 past them.

Having another blast at Ghost of Tsushima, recently finished AC Mirage, I’ll probably revisit Red Dead 2 on the ps5 next as I’ve only done it the once.

Laughable attempt at getting a Pelanty from the mackem. The “head snapped back, back arched, toes pointed” is on page one of Shitty Diving Technique

That’s very rare footage of the , now extinct, Southern Galapagos Five Legged Giant Tortoise. Up to this moment, he was the sole surviving member of the species- was actually trying to bang a sexy looking boulder.

I’ve definitely noticed more Qashqais on the road recently.

He’s nurt wraing

Are we talking about Bruno or BUJ7 here? I do love Bruno and will be gutted if/when he goes, but not as much as Joelinton, simply because I’m a sucker for redemption stories, and they rarely come better than his in football. To go from ridicule to reverence in the space of a season is unreal, and his conduct throughout it all makes it even better. Love the bloke.

I did well last night, I got 5 questions right, before the contestants.

That knee to the head, sparking out the lad in the first few seconds.

Fyp

Meh, I’ve never lost any sleep over Insomnia…