Christmas Tree

Everyday, 200 million couples around the world have sex, which is about 2000 couples at any given moment. (and we're on here )

and this from Louise Taylor

ARSENAL ARSENE WENGER is happy with his squad. But with Thomas Vermaelen missing, he could do with a decent centre-half. FUNDS: Money is no issue - just persuading the boss to spend it. TARGETS: Bolton's Gary Cahill would fit the bill but they won't be selling. Could make a move for Blackburn's Chris Samba. LEAVING: Manuel Almunia will be allowed to return to Spain. ASTON VILLA GERARD HOULLIER wants to shake things up after a disappointing start. FUNDS: Club owner Randy Lerner wants to cut the wage bill, so all signings must be cost-effective. TARGETS: Spurs' Niko Kranjcar is up for grabs and Houllier could go to former club Lyons for Jean Makoun. LEAVING: Steve Sidwell, Stephen Ireland, Curtis Davies and Richard Dunne. BIRMINGHAM A LACK of goals is threatening to drag Blues into a relegation battle and boss Alex McLeish is looking for a reliable scorer. FUNDS: Carson Yeung won't splash the cash so McLeish will need loans. TARGETS: Robbie Keane and David Bentley are both loan targets but Cardiff's Jay Bothroyd would cost £6m. LEAVING: Would sell Nikola Zigic tomorrow if they could. BLACKBURN STEVE KEAN has until the end of the season to prove he deserves the job. FUNDS: The new owners insist there is "a lot more" than the £5m originally stated for signings. TARGETS: Need a striker, with Wigan's Hugo Rodallega a target. Would love Robbie Keane on loan. LEAVING: Skipper Chris Samba wants to quit and Pascal Chimbonda would be allowed to go. BLACKPOOL IAN HOLLOWAY signed 11 players in the summer. Don't expect many more. FUNDS: There is little to spend and Holloway must rummage around the bargain basement. TARGETS: Assuming Luke Varney stays, Holloway would also be interested in Everton striker James Vaughan. LEAVING: Jason Euell and Chris Basham could be allowed to leave if they wanted. BOLTON OWEN COYLE needs to bolster his squad to keep their push for Europe going. FUNDS: Coyle will be given a limited budget. TARGETS: Utrecht's Danish ace Michael Silberbauer is up for grabs at around £4m. LEAVING: Israeli Tamir Cohen does not seem to figure prominently in Coyle's plans at the Reebok. CHELSEA CARLO ANCELOTTI does not trust the kids on the bench and wants to sign a quality striker and a top-class defender. FUNDS: Roman Abramovich has said he is ready to abandon the austerity drive but outbidding Man City will not be easy. TARGETS: Ajax right-back Gregory van der Wiel, Anderlecht striker Romelu Lukaku and Wolfsburg defender Simon Kjaer. LEAVING: No one will go unless replacements are signed first. EVERTON DAVID MOYES must sign a goalscorer if his team are to salvage anything from this season. FUNDS: Just £1.5m spent last summer and needs to sell before he can buy. TARGETS: Trying to sign Man City star Roque Santa Cruz on loan while Newcastle's Steven Taylor is an option. LEAVING: Steven Pienaar if he does not pen new deal. FULHAM LOSING Bobby Zamora has been a blow to Fulham and Mark Hughes must add attacking power. FUNDS: Know they must splash out to protect their Premier League status. TARGETS: Hughes has worked with David Bentley and Stephen Ireland before and believes he can revive their careers. LEAVING: Ex-boss Roy Hodgson wants Clint Dempsey at Liverpool. LIVERPOOL ROY HODGSON can now splash some cash but persuading top stars to move to Anfield might be a problem. FUNDS: Hodgson's signings have not impressed and he must spend more wisely. TARGETS: Chris Samba is seen as a replacement for Jamie Carragher, Hamburg winger Eljero Elia or Fulham ace Clint Dempsey are targets. LEAVING: Serb Milan Jovanovic has not settled in England. MAN CITY THE world's richest club are planning another spending spree. FUNDS: Bottomless pit. TARGETS: City will bid for Edin Dzeko from Wolfsburg and move for Barcelona defender Dani Alves. LEAVING: Manu Adebayor, Shaun Wright-Phillips, Roque Santa Cruz, Joleon Lescott and Wayne Bridge can go. MAN UNITED UNITED have reached Christmas unbeaten in the league and top the table. As a result, Alex Ferguson is not expected to be busy in the January transfer window. FUNDS: Money is always available at United but with new ownership issues Fergie won't be demanding a fortune. TARGETS: £10million-rated Paris St Germain centre-back Mamadou Sakho. LEAVING: Squad players such as Darron Gibson, Federico Macheda and Gabriel Obertan could be available on loan. NEWCASTLE ALAN PARDEW is still getting the feel of the manager's dugout at St James' Park and is reasonably satisfied with the squad he inherited from Chris Hughton. FUNDS: Mike Ashley is in no mood to spend any more of his fortune, but Pardew won't raise funds by selling Andy Carroll. TARGETS: Southampton starlet Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, Ipswich's Connor Wickham and QPR's Adel Taarabt. LEAVING: Steven Taylor will stay on, but Xisco and Peter Lovenkrands are on their way. STOKE CITY TONY PULIS is looking to strengthen his midfield and believes a top-10 finish is achievable with a bit more attacking quality. FUNDS: The club have backed Pulis in the past to sign the likes of Kenwyne Jones and Tuncay. They are ready to do the same again. TARGETS: Birmingham winger Seb Larsson and Aston Villa midfielder Stephen Ireland are both options. Wayne Bridge could arrive on loan from Manchester City. LEAVING: Tuncay and Michael Tonge are expected to move. SUNDERLAND STEVE BRUCE'S priority is to secure Nedum Onuoha, Danny Welbeck AND Ahmed Al-Muhammadi on a permanent basis. FUNDS: Will pay the asking prices for Onuoha and Welbeck. TARGETS: Manchester City are ready to negotiate a fee for Onuoha but are not keen to let Bruce have Adam Johnson on loan. Welbeck will almost certainly return to Old Trafford at the end of his loan. LEAVING: George McCartney, Andy Reid and Anton Ferdinand. TOTTENHAM NO ONE has worked the January window better than Harry Redknapp in recent years and he is bound to be involved next month. FUNDS: Reaching the Champions League second round has generated extra cash. TARGETS: Harry would still love to lure Scott Parker from West Ham and will try to engineer a swap deal involving Robbie Keane, Jamie O'Hara and David Bentley. LEAVING: Keane, O'Hara, Bentley, Niko Kranjcar and Giovani are all surplus to requirements. WEST BROM ROBERTO DI MATTEO overhauled his squad after winning promotion but now wants to add a couple more players. FUNDS: Di Matteo could have up to £10million but will have to lose some dead wood. TARGETS: Preston centre-half Sean St Ledger, Cardiff striker Jay Bothroyd and Spurs hitman Robbie Keane. LEAVING: Roman Bednar, Simon Cox, Gianni Zuiverloon, Luke Moore and Abdoulaye Meite are all up for grabs. WEST HAM A HUGE month in store for the lowly Hammers, but will Avram Grant still be in charge when the market opens on January 1? FUNDS: Owners David Gold and David Sullivan have made £10million available for new signings. TARGETS: Steve Sidwell is on his way from Villa. Robbie Keane, Jamie O'Hara and Wayne Bridge are other loan targets. LEAVING: Valon Behrami, Carlton Cole and Matthew Upson could all go if decent offers come in. WIGAN THE club are sliding towards the Championship with a whimper and need a real injection of transfer spirit to get out of the mess. FUNDS: Roberto Martinez blew £6.5m on Mauro Boselli and is unlikely to get more to waste. TARGETS: Martinez wants Man United's Tom Cleverley permanently and Arsenal's Jay Emmanuel-Thomas on loan. He is also after Leeds' Bradley Johnson. LEAVING: Hugo Rodallega, Charles N'Zogbia or Maynor Figueroa could be sold to raise some cash. WOLVES MICK McCARTHY believes he can secure safety with a little investment next month. FUNDS: Nothing major but money will be made available for the right men. TARGETS: Villa defender Curtis Davies, on loan at Leicester, would cost £3.5million while Nice striker Mamadou Bagayoko, who has been on trial, is available for £250,000. LEAVING: Steven Fletcher has failed to shine and could go to pay for other signings.

manc mag apparently has a comb over.

And there it is again. yup, wait and see in 6months, low wages bigger fee for the transfer and he'll be gone. well so far 3 or 4 windows have passed when we havent sold off our prize assets despites many comments like yours. At some point you will have to agree that we are not a selling club. Remind me what happens with us if carroll is missing injured for 8weeks say? Have no real idea what that has to do with your assertions that we are a selling club when every window that passes by continues to prove you wrong. what prized assets did we have during those windows honestly? last time i checked the higher earner quality players like Given etc were already gone and profited on. Carroll has only became a big asset now he's proved himself in the first half of this season in the premier league, no one give a fuck what he was doing in the championship it doesn't count for dick all. Jonas is woeful, i doubt anyone came in for him. Sideshow bob is overpriced and on massive wages. Enrique was brilliant in the championship, but hit and miss in the premierleague previously, he keeps playing like he is this season and he'll achieve Asset status and people will enquire. please point me at what prized assets clubs would've wanted from our team before the start of this season, and be willing to pay the money fat man would've asked. Honestly you call me contrary but you just spout the same doom monger crap over and over regardless of facts. I'll just leave you with this little gem from May 2010.... I will not embarras the poster because we all talk shit at times but your reply to the above was "Spot On". I trust even you will agree your analysis of the situation in May was way off and far from decimating the team, we improved it and far from Liverpool putting 8 past us.....

And your classic leazes. 1. When losing an argument, re-copy points I like and miss out the bits Ive been corrected on. 2. Deflect attention my throwing out insults. 3. Drag up lots of meaniless stuff that wasnt being discussed.

Well how do you get to it? I want to see it. Im sure somebody posted a video and map about this about 18 months ago. A quick search might find it. http://www.toontastic.net/board/index.php?...771&hl=lort

Well how do you get to it? I want to see it. Im sure somebody posted a video and map about this about 18 months ago. A quick search might find it.

Cant really see why you all dont just let it die off. Did anyone find how many paying members there are now? What percentage decrease that is? Bearing in mind a canny percentage will be oot's, you probably looking at a few hundred locals. Is it really worth trying to fight over and re-vive something that is so tarnished. The brand is as fucked as Ratners? and the best thing you should do is bide your time and start a proper club without all this trust shit.

And there it is again. yup, wait and see in 6months, low wages bigger fee for the transfer and he'll be gone. well so far 3 or 4 windows have passed when we havent sold off our prize assets despites many comments like yours. At some point you will have to agree that we are not a selling club. Remind me what happens with us if carroll is missing injured for 8weeks say? Have no real idea what that has to do with your assertions that we are a selling club when every window that passes by continues to prove you wrong.

In conjunction with your comments in the other thread, do we sense a smidge of jealousy creeping in.

And there it is again.

Dear me you do rattle on like a little girl at times. you could have just argued against the comments however they're pretty solid from me so I guess a little hissy fit was easier.

How much do you think a player of his ability should be paid? How long is a piece of string? It's obscene that some players are getting more in a week than a doctor gets in a year, but that's how it is. You've got to pay the going rate if you want to compete. Well said, doctor. I want Barton to stay, I also want think that he owes the club something after the sensuous off/jail time/time missed due to injuries. Edit: sensuous? Fuck. Sendings off that should read. iPhone/wine fail. Bit of man lurve in the house.

Its quite fucking simple really. Apparently there is a very clear brief for the scouts to go out and find good younger players on unobscene wages like Tiote and I guess if possible to get them on a play now buy later like Ben Arfa. Its up to the scouts to do that job. A couple of Ben Arfas and Tiotes every window and we'll be in the champions league before you know it. Simples.

Body Found in river under High Level bridge. RIP

AP Can we put this one to bed now

Parky Thumb

4

Got all my family obsessed with him now.....

Mackems in Boldon too Least Ive never stuck my cock in one

In January I have no problem with the upgrading of players if its in the interest of the club, as KK did with Cole and I havent seen anything in the last year / 18 months that suggest we are about to become a selling club. It looks to me like progress built on solid foundations.

blizzards in boldon

Your sons a taxi driver? bloody hell start em young mate. You have no shame, bragging about it on a message board.