MrBass

Murphs!

Not really the same thing if he was told he could leave this summer if a £26m offer came in for him.

Good(ish) passing for the build up mind (ignoring Tonali's miss pass to Tripps)

Elanga!

Brazil ESPN amongst others. Full listing on NUFC.com

If we've offered £30m+ and have heard he's a gentlemen's agreement of £26m then I think we've been more than fair here and are right to stick to our guns.

Poor bastards been on less than minimum wage since he's been there, no wonder he wants out!

FYP

That's probably because the bloke is 6'5 and we have a very high ceiling.

Is that one of Wykiki's aliases?

Trouble is we're (seemingly) too soft. I reckon we'll let him go, let him go this window, let him go to a direct rival (yes the red dipper cunts) and let him go for less than £150m. I'm channelling Gemmill level predictions here, so let's all cross our fingers!

Until it's 49

I’d rather sell him to those cunts over the red dipper cunts.

Well at least we can rest easy knowing that Isak won't be going to Liverpool

And, conversely, if he goes to the red dippers then he really has shown what a cunt cunt he is.

He's not going to torpedo his career by refusing to play. He'll suck it up for the season and then move on next summer.

Cue all the YouTube dickheads putting out shite with SOLD clickbait thumbnails. If we let him go this window when he's got three years left on his contract, without some major marquee signing ourselves, then it's a fucking joke. All this talk about him going nowhere... well, that part seems true right now. I'm steering clear of social media comment sections otherwise I'll lose my shit with all the scouse cunts cheering and celebrating on the basis of nowt.

You been eavesdropping on your Mrs when she’s entertaining Callum?

He’s 28

Nah, extra £5mil if we win the treble, extra £10mil if Ekitike does his cruciate early doors.

It's the Telegraph so I don't believe a word of it. In the unlikely event they've got their facts right (for once), if the player is agitating for a move then I'm sure there's some middle ground around the £30mil plus add-ons with those add-ons being things like, he plays x number of games, we win a cup, we make champions league etc... etc....

What's his metabolic age though?

No pleasing some cunts.

...and finger guns I reckon.