luckyluke 1 Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Was told this last night: What have women and clowns got in common? Well, once they fuck off you can actually have a nice day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0 Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 I was raping a woman last night and she cried "Please, think of my children!" Kinky bitch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charvski 0 Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 old lady goes to see her dentist, she sits on the chair, lifts her legs up into the air and raises her skirt. dentist says "I am a dentist madam not a gynecologist! (sp)" The lady replies, "I know I want you to take my husbands teeth out!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JawD 31 Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 Was told this last night: What have women and clowns got in common? Well, once they fuck off you can actually have a nice day. Clouds man Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38911 Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 I was raping a woman last night and she cried "Please, think of my children!" Kinky bitch. fuckin hell, sketchy Three men walk into a bar. There's a Mackem, a Priest, and a Paedophile. The other two blokes weren't much better. Coats on! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walliver 0 Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 Was told this last night: What have women and clowns got in common? Well, once they fuck off you can actually have a nice day. Clouds man Best post in this thread! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 1 Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 I guess that makes more sense. I think I prefer the more surreal version though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snakehips 0 Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 I guess that makes more sense. I think I prefer the more surreal version though. I prefer your version tbh. Clowns = annoying cunts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 1 Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 I guess that makes more sense. I think I prefer the more surreal version though. I prefer your version tbh. Clowns = annoying cunts. Exactly. I'm pretty sure it was told to me as "clowns" incidentally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AgentAxeman 82 Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 Was told this last night: What have women and clowns got in common? Well, once they fuck off you can actually have a nice day. Clouds man Best post in this thread! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 Funnier than the joke, anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JawD 31 Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charvski 0 Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 dear grim reaper. this year you've taken my favourite actor Patrick Swayze, my favourite chef, Keith Floyd, and my favourite singer Stephen gateley. Just to let you know, my favourite football club owner is Mike Ashley! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazarus 0 Posted October 18, 2009 Share Posted October 18, 2009 Some London councils are offering rewards to people who "Do something special in their local community" I fucked my next door neighbours Down Syndrome daughter, does that count ?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38911 Posted October 18, 2009 Share Posted October 18, 2009 Some London councils are offering rewards to people who "Do something special in their local community"I fucked my next door neighbours Down Syndrome daughter, does that count ?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AgentAxeman 82 Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 Little Sally came home from school with a big smile on her face and told her mum, "Frankie Brown showed me his willy today!" Before mum could raise a concern Sally said "It reminded me of a peanut" ........With a secret smile mum asked "Was it really small?" Sally replied "No, just really salty!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JawD 31 Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 Dear Louis Hopefully now you see I'm not fucking about. For every week that the Twins remain in X-Factor, a member of Boyzone gets it. Yours, God. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig 6313 Posted October 19, 2009 Author Share Posted October 19, 2009 Dear Louis Hopefully now you see I'm not fucking about. For every week that the Twins remain in X-Factor, a member of Boyzone gets it. Yours, God. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1892 0 Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 Little Sally came home from school with a big smile on her face and told her mum, "Frankie Brown showed me his willy today!" Before mum could raise a concern Sally said "It reminded me of a peanut" ........With a secret smile mum asked "Was it really small?" Sally replied "No, just really salty!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 13883 Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 Dear Louis Hopefully now you see I'm not fucking about. For every week that the Twins remain in X-Factor, a member of Boyzone gets it. Yours, God. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38911 Posted October 20, 2009 Share Posted October 20, 2009 Not bad taste but: WOMAN'S DIARY Saturday 17 October 2009 Saw him in the evening and he was acting really strangely. I'd been shopping in the afternoon with the girls and was a bit late meeting him, thought it might be that. The bar was really crowded and loud, so I suggested we go somewhere quieter to talk. He was still very subdued and distracted so I suggested we went somewhere nice to eat. All through dinner he just didn't seem himself - he hardly laughed and didn't seem to be paying any attention to me or to what I was saying. I just knew that something was wrong. He dropped me back home and I wondered if he was going to come in. He hesitated but followed. I asked him what was wrong, but he just half shook his head and turned the television on. After about ten ! minutes of silence I said that I was going upstairs to bed, I put my arms around him and told him that I loved him deeply. He just gave a sigh and a sad sort of smile. He didn't follow me up immediately but came up later and, to my surprise, we made love - but he still seemed distant and a bit cold. I cried myself to sleep - I think he's planning to leave me - maybe he's found someone else. MAN'S DIARY Saturday 17 October 2009 Newcastle got beat. Gutted. Got a shag though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0 Posted October 20, 2009 Share Posted October 20, 2009 Just wasted a tenner on a dvd called Jordan: My Dribbling Cunt. Turns out it was a video of Harvey's birthday party. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38911 Posted October 20, 2009 Share Posted October 20, 2009 Just wasted a tenner on a dvd called Jordan: My Dribbling Cunt. Turns out it was a video of Harvey's birthday party. :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paddy 9 Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 Just wasted a tenner on a dvd called Jordan: My Dribbling Cunt. Turns out it was a video of Harvey's birthday party. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazarus 0 Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 On the train? No ticket? Ticket inspector approaching? Just open your mouth, driblle and bang your head against the window over and over, he won't bother you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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