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I predict


Dr Gloom
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if the fat controller somehow manages to cling on to power until january, i'm predicting a couple of panic buys of unprecedented levels.

 

what's everyone's predictions? i'm going for torre andre flo and marcus stewart in a £30m double swoop

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Beckham

 

Aye that worries me. Would be so Shepherd-esque, the club is crying out for strikers and defenders, so we'll sign Beckham and bring the circus to town.

 

Sky Sports News would love it, David Craig could get his coat on again.

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It'll be someone from Bolivia or Venezuela or somewhere like that. They won't speak english, have never even set foot in europe and won't know where Newcastle is never mind that they have a football team.

 

The 'scouting' will consist of one grainy video supplied by a dodgy agent and a paragraph from a football magazine no one reads saying he's great.

 

He will be injury-prone, have a poor temperament, suspect finishing and a lazy work-ethic. He will cost between eight and twelve million.

 

Other than that, I'd be guessing.

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