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ET's his top nark. He gets information through telepathy with the movers and shakers in the transfer market. He's just got to look at a photo of Jamie Rueben and our five year transfer targets are imprinted in his brain. He then spills the beans to Mouth of the Tyne at the area 51 rendezvous point.

This needs to be reposted (of the ufo abduction)

I get what you're saying, I myself have questioned how wise our transfer dealings last summer were. That's all in hindsight and down to the terrible luck we've had this season though. They were all transfers that improved the quality of the squad. Kelly is likely cover, not a Botman replacement. Given how well the back 4 did last season and how with injuries they've struggled this time around, it's clear we need better quality backup. Upgrading Schar can wait a season or two, he's been absolute quality. That's where Tosin might come in once Howe has worked his magic on him. Also they're both free transfers aren't they? I'm pretty sure Barnes was not a Gordon upgrade. He mainly plays on the left so if anything he was an ASM replacement with Gordon the flexible option up top.

If Comedy Dave tells a joke in a forest and no one else is there. Is it still not funny?

I think a clip of it was posted on here. They were on some UFO hunting tour going to places like Area 51. Or rather about a mile from the perimeter fence. And Roswell and all that bollocks. Looking for lights in the sky or whatever

Actually, scratch that. He’s also a monumental bell end

@Tom recalls seeing him on a UFO abduction programme and that's all you need to know about him

He’s an attention seeker. Nothing more

Aye, Seen the latest Sean Casey transfer video there as well

"Directly". I have spoken directly to someone who spoke to someone else who spoke to someone else.

Mouth is now reporting that Man City have activated Bruno Gs release clause. Absolute clown.

Mouth of the Tyne knows absolutely fuck all. He pops up on my X feed. You should see the knee jerk after the Man Utd game.

I’m meant in terms of ousting a player from the starting XI Tino isn’t better than fit Trippier (at the minute) Tosin isn’t better than Schar Kelly isn’t better than Botman Hall is better than Burn/Targett to be fair but it’s taken him a whole season to break into the team. Barnes isn’t any better than Gordon Tonali is the only player that you’d say is better than Longstaff but he hasn’t proven anything in the PL yet.

Right, so better backup than Lascelles in that sense too.

You need your forwards to be confident but if Wilson thinks he's going to be the main man over Isak he's delusional. And that's before his fitness record comes into the picture. If Trips really has issues as well I hope Bayern or somebody else are still willing to pay the 12M or so. Tino seems to be ready to take over, but despite the last few months Trippier has easily been one of the top players I've seen play for us. Proper world class at times. Will be sad if he does go.

Kelly is left footed so covers the injured Botman and the 30+ Dan Burn…

Agreed on Ramsdale, I think Pope is a better keeper overall. Who have we bought that's not been an upgrade? Tino and Hall were clearly long term buys. Tonali and Barnes are significant upgrades on ASM and Longstaff had they been available to play regularly. Kelly is probably a Lascelles replacement. Tosin looks very good at times, Howe could easily mould him into a quality Schar replacement.

I don’t think he is better than Pope. It’s okay bolstering your squad but we’ve recently bought players that aren’t any better (or on par) with what we’ve got. Tosin and Kelly fall into that as well. maybe that’s a strategy to mould them into better players.

It would be a silly deal for Ramsdale to make given he wouldn’t be the clear No.1.

Yep. He’s a grifter with a massive ego and zero substance. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was gutted once the initial euphoria of the referendum wore off. As, despite him still having a profile way bigger than he should, he’s relatively irrelevant nowadays.

Hearing chatter from Sky Sports / Metro that Ramsdale has agreed a deal with us? Cant see either him or Pope wanting to be #2

If it puts him in the news he'd snap their hands off at the chance.

If Sunak was ousted and a right wing loon instilled maybe then. No, probably no conceivable route for him and I do wonder if he would be elected in almost any constituency outside Essex or Kent. Oh well, guess it does them more harm having him outside the tent pissing in anyway.

Did you see that video of Farage the other day saying he detests the Conservative Party and what they've done to the country. Didn't sound like a man about to join forces with them.