smoggeordie

Everyone does that And what angle to people piss at? I know a fair few people who play the old "stand as far away from the toilet and still get it in" game

When you have a slash, what is your technique? Personally, I like a piss at a relaxed pace, nice and slow, nee point rushing mother nature. However, my flat mate pisses like a horse, i'm three rooms away and I can still here the power piss destroying the surface of the water from here.

"I'll fucking carry him back for 9 million... ...YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Apparently they've re-signed Dan pet-rescue to solve the crisis.

Neil Warnock has reportedly resigned as Sheffield United boss - three days after relegation from the Premiership. The 58-year-old is said to have ended his tenure at Bramall Lane after seven-and-a-half years in charge. The former Notts County and Plymouth boss is thought to have been unhappy with the new £450,000-a-year deal he was offered after the club went down. He was set to earn a £750,000-a-year deal before Sunday's 2-1 defeat to Wigan consigned them to the drop. Warnock met with club officials on Tuesday, having indicated after that crunch defeat that he would take a number of days to consider his future. Sheffield United will host a news conference at Bramall Lane at 1100 BST when Warnock is expected to confirm his decision to leave. Warnock's assistant, Stuart McCall, is expected to take over in the Blades hot-seat.

Love the comment "5 mins 23 secs is the best bit"

Enjoy... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1VEY7ndKCs

Welcome to last week fellas

Show me the money. I can't hear you Jerry!

Show me the money.

West Ham striker Carlos Tevez is set for a £30m move to Real Madrid - with West Ham not seeing a penny of any fee. (The Sun) But Tevez will decide on his future next week. (Daily Express) The Hammers will this week make a £12m bid for Charlton captain Darren Bent. (Daily Star) Spurs have also put Bent at the top of their shopping list, for around £10m. (Daily Express) And they are in the hunt for Barcelona's out-of-favour former Chelsea frontman Eidur Gudjohnsen, too. (Daily Star) Portsmouth defender Sol Campbell has moved a step closer to joining Newcastle. (Daily Mirror) Phil Jagielka is set to walk out on Sheffield United with Everton, Liverpool, Aston Villa and Wigan interested. (Daily Mirror) Praise the lord, Manchester United have finally agreed an £18m fee with Bayern Munich for Owen Hargreaves. (Daily Star) Spurs' interest in Nigel Reo-Coker's has cooled, with Everton and Sunderland watching developments. (Daily Mirror) Obafemi Martins could be on his way out of Newcastle, with Valencia and Juventus already in talks over a £13m move. (The Sun) Portsmouth remain favourites to sign Mark Viduka, who is out of contract at Middlesbrough. (Daily Mail) Glen Johnson has snubbed a permanent move to Portsmouth to fight for a first-team place at Chelsea. (Daily Mirror) Portsmouth and West Ham have made enquiries about Watford youngster Hameur Bouazza. (Daily Mirror) Swansea, Hartlepool and Hibernian have lodged bids for £150,000-rated Hull striker Darryl Duffy. (Daily Star) West Ham boss Alan Curbishley is tracking Benfica's Portuguese striker Nuno Gomes. (Daily Mirror) Celtic and Rangers are set to battle for the services of former Liverpool striker Robbie Fowler. (Daily Mirror) Wolves defender Jackie McNamara will sign a two-year deal with Aberdeen by the end of the week. (Daily Record) OTHER GOSSIP Ex-Thai prime minister Thaksin Shinawatra, who is heading a consortium that may take over Manchester City, would want Blackburn boss Mark Hughes to become the new manager at Eastlands following the sacking of Stuart Pearce. (The Sun) AZ Alkmaar manager Louis van Gaal is top of the shortlist to replace Pearce at Manchester City. (Daily Mirror) Although former Liverpool boss Gerard Houllier could be set for a return to the Premiership with City. (Daily Express) Wigan boss Paul Jewell, who resigned on Monday, left the club with a £1m bonus from chairman Dave Whelan as a thank you for keeping the Latics in the Premiership on the last day of the season. (The Sun) Sheffield United manager Neil Warnock is poised to quit Sheffield United in the wake of the club's dramatic relegation from the Premiership. (Daily Mirror) AND FINALLY Steve McManaman has revealed he drank champagne with the King of Spain when Real Madrid won the Champions League final at Hampden Park. (Daily Record)

Souness

20

Delighted

Git beat me to it!

Souness in!

Merc'd.

Roll on 6th June when exams finish.

Michael Owen will still be a Newcastle player next season, according to his former team-mate Alan Shearer. Asked on BBC One's Inside Sport programme if striker Owen would still be at Newcastle for the start of the next campaign, Shearer said: "Yes." He added that Owen feels guilty about the knee injury that kept him out for much of last season and is "frustrated" about reports that he wants to move on. "He wants to get back playing and scoring goals for Newcastle," he added. Injuries have limited Owen to just 14 games for the Magpies since his £17m move from Real Madrid in 2005. Reports have suggested he has a clause in his contract that allows him to leave for as little as £9m - with speculation linking to a move to one of the big four clubs in England. Newcastle chairman Freddy Shepherd has called for Owen to show some loyalty to the north-east club. The criticism that has always been aimed at Newcastle is the number of goals they concede, so I would imagine defenders are the top priority And Shearer, who was instrumental in Owen deciding to join Newcastle in 2005, feels Owen just wants to get back to playing games for the club. He added: "Michael is probably slightly frustrated because he has a contract with Newcastle and he feels if every time he has to come out and say something about speculation he would be in the newspapers every day trying to deny things. "It's a different story if Manchester United are linked with Tottenham's Dimitar Berbatov and Liverpool are linked with players - and you don't see those players coming out and saying: 'Yes, that's true' or, 'That's not true'." Owen, who was stretchered off with mild concussion in Newcastle's 1-1 draw with Watford on the final day of the season, suffered the knee ligament injury playing for England in the 2006 World Cup. It came not long after he had returned to fitness following another long absence, with a broken foot. "I don't think anyone felt as much guilt as he did when he went down injured that day," said Shearer. Former Bolton boss Sam Allardyce has been widely tipped to become Newcastle manager following Glenn Roeder's resignation on 6 May. Shearer commented: "It's a huge job and there have been so many managers - I think I went through five or six in the 10 years I was there. "There are a lot of personalities there that need sorting out. I think a lot of players have gone stale. "Sam is an expert at getting the best out of players. I hope dearly he goes up there and wins a trophy. It is such a huge club and they are starved of success. "One thing we can guarantee is he will get money to spend. I think it's defenders we need more than anything. "The criticism that has always been aimed at Newcastle is the number of goals they concede, so I would imagine defenders are his top priority."

Those shades really disguise him

erm.....wasn't it on the 11th?

Whats the point hoying this up at half 7?

thats rank

Following the internet broadcast of a video clip containing footage of Newcastle United chairman Freddy Shepherd, the club has issued the following response: Anyone who has seen this video clip will immediately regard it for exactly what it is. It's nothing more than tongue-in-cheek banter in the most light-hearted fashion that nobody could take remotely seriously or try to misinterpret. The chairman shows just how approachable he is by having a laugh with a couple of football fans, and Geordies and Liverpool supporters are world renowned for enjoying a joke and sharing a sense of humour after all.