Howmanheyman

Would've been good to that goal before half time. Need to put one away, lads.

oooooo ba, oooooo ba, oooooooooo, ooo ba oooooo ba Why do fools fall in lu-urve?

Very, very perceptive of you not to put that in abbreviations, by the way! Anyway, here you go;

All the (belated) best to you as well, alleged Ginge!

All the best, TR!

I've a date on monday with a very attractive and very nice lass. Also hints of naughtiness going on under the radar. So I'm like a dog with two cocks and grinning like shark.

The rest of us are made of sterner stuff, by the way, Simian's hammer!

Nar I know this is terribly sick humour, but I tell you honestly when he types I think of that Brevin mass murderer bloke. Sorry but I do genuinely. ..........and now for something completely different! I can't believe I'm going to say this but you somehow appeared in a dream I had, you phoned me up about a job and when you realised I was HMHM you started saying stuff like, 'half of them are mugs, know fuck all about the Toon' etc. I'm going to get some stick, now, like!

Anyone else think of AHA, the band with such hits as 'take on me' and 'the sun always shines on TV' whenever you read salty's posts?

You fought many Yanks Stateside, Deadas?

Meh, my bad, sick etc are fucking abominations especially when written by a Brit.

No need for apologies, man!

I can't believe the amount of people who put 'loose' when they mean 'lose', no offence Deadas, you're not the only one.

From left to right; Maze-Prison-excrement-face, Eddie Munster and Sugarplum hardman.

Just came into possession of this little beauty once worn by a Mr David Kelly once a scorer of goals for Newcastle United FC. Not bad if I say so myself.

Thanks for the warning, anyway, mate. Don't suppose you have any tickets for a party with a hundred and fifty pissed secretarys, instead?

Only if they're like Martin Platt.

At this time of year you have to put aside material things and think of those less fortunate than yourself, it really is a time for giving, so if you'd just like to give me one of those tickets you can go to bed with a real warm glow knowing you've made a difference this Christmas. Well done you, Merry Christmas, and thank you.

Don't blame you at all. Can I have your ticket, then? They're struggling to get rid of tickets, I believe. If it sells out there should be nigh on 150 pissed-up nurses, all in very few clothes in one room. I'm missing a trick here - it's one of my mates who is organising it and I'm sure she wouldn't notice a few non-medical types if they snuck in. I could make a fortune! I'm only joking. Why would I want to be at a Christmas do with a load of pissed nurses for? (I'm developing a nervous twitch as I write that, or something to do with twitching, anyway).

Don't blame you at all. Can I have your ticket, then?

Lucky that his breasts are small and humble. Don't confuse them with mountains, though.

We await with baited breath. I'll be on to SKY news as soon as you tell us.

Last Christmas do I had at work was at the hotel near Madisons when I did a YTS course in 1991 for a company in Newburn/Lemington. I've worked for some decent companies but every fucking one just didn't make any effort for Christmas.

Hmmmm, some canny suggestions. Here's mine; 'Deadman can choose his own name but I can't' Or 'Even Kevin is capable of choosing a name for himself'