Howmanheyman

I've switched over from Brentford v Villa to Lecce v Meelan on DAZN Italia, Lecce are winning 2-0! I've no idea what the commentators are saying but I do know it sounds waaaay better than Alan Smith on the Brentford/Villa game.

Katie Price: "Does it come in a larger size?"

Great memories, Gemm.

Let's be honest though, she wanted to be sectioned for letting that monstrosity climb aboard her.

Fucking Chelsea playing Leicester tomorrow as well.

Man City couldn't score in a brothel unless one of the ladies is Miss NUFC.

Probably mentioned it before but I recall the whopper describing how he'd been to 'the bridge' that afternoon and he had to admit to being a bit disappointed with how few Sheffield United fans made the trip down, so far so fuck? The next day I was looking at the results in the paper and I saw the Chelsea game with an attendance of 13,000! The cheeky cunt! (they'd had 30,000 that same midweek v us in the LC although there was a good few thousand of us there that night).

"Welcome one and all to toontastic, the place to be for red, hot soccer chat. Have you been to a game today? What did you think of the referee and most importantly are you a season ticket holder? What hand do you usually hold it in? I prefer holding it with my right hand when I'm at craven cottage, err, I mean the bridge, definitely the bridge now. Call us now on 0898 244 606."

Got stuff in for a full English breakfast to put myself right after a Friday night out with the lads but I'm going to have to make it myself and I really can't be arsed to....

Currently reading 'the cat sat on the mat'.

Umbro all the way for me. #spaceAgeSilver

If you need any handy phrases out there, nappy is Sakipoopoo and if you're a car thief you're Nikki Moto.

Fletch telling us every time he hears the Liverpool fans plus what song they're singing.

More jam than Hartley's.

Hold the fucking press, they've even got the cheek to pinch a winner! They've definitely made a deal with the devil years ago. No doubt at all.

BBC: PSG hold Liverpool to a draw.

Red car var cleared for Liverpool, fuck me! Compare that to the pen they gave against us!

Getting battered but PSG miss a sitter then score a great goal only to have it disallowed for what must be a fanny's hair offside. Lucky so far. This could've been us battering them but we're not allowed nice things like PSG, Man City, Chelsea etc.

🎶 Here's a little rabbit with a furry coat I caught it for my dinner, I ripped out it's throat Don't worry Be happy (Don't worry be happy) 🎵

The daughters went over on the ferry without bothering to tell me before they booked, I think they had the sum total of two hours in Holland before coming back, they spent a small fortune on data and overpriced everything. I'd even told them in the past when they were mulling over going to Amsterdam to just pay a bit extra on the flight and it would save them in the long run but what do I know?

I know a Ukrainian who could get a deal done between China and the US as long as the Americans show some respect.

That's mental but I believe their intentions and think they're getting there fast.