Howmanheyman

@ the CT shrimp BBQ jokes.

Sitting in the bait room at work today I casually turned to one of the lads and asked him if he'd heard the one about the Nazi interrogation officer? He'd barely got the 'No' answer out when I slapped his face shouting 'LIAR!' in a loud German accent. (It was a gentle slap, promise).

Great and poignant piece in the Guardian. http://www.theguardian.com/society/2014/jun/04/coalition-attacks-nhs-return-britain-age-workhouse

I'm looking forward to another season where we really "attack the cups" (Alan Pardew).

Metro Radio breaking news: "Staff at Newcastle United's ticket office were today called in at 6.am to deal with season ticket sales frenzy after the announcement of imminent transfer of jack Colback from Sunderland and young Perez from Tenerife who was playing for the Thomas Cook reps team on the Canaries island."

Ok I'm in. I better not get someone daft like Iran or England! I'll put £2 in via the donate button.

"'Appy birfday my awhld Sahn!"

....And still collect more points than Keane.

Looking forward to Bendtner playing for us next season.

Helped the Missus put the shopping away and seen this in amongst the stuff........ ......She'll be be getting served her divorce papers first thing in the morning.

Got done a few years back for pinching some tampons and Sunglasses from her local Tesco. Said she was expecting some sunny periods later that week.

Jason and the Argonauts

Hail Caesar!

M'oaning a'bout f''ucking a'postophes. H'as i't c'ome t'o t'his, m'an?

Has anyone seen the club crest on the new away shirt, yet? Looks and feels like you could just peel it off. It won't last two seconds with any active bairn. Cheap as anything.

If you don't laugh you'll cry.

Hopefully. There'll be a few Rocky Balboa's knocking around tonight full of peeve in pubs and clubs that's 100% guaranteed.

I'm out for six, back to my pals where there's a few round to watch it for about nine. Really hope it's over in the first round with the first couple of punches as I can't stand boxing any more.

Who asked you Herr Gruber!

no spracken ze Bampsen, mein herr.

The majority of our fans are German?

A good businessman should take advantage of our history and promote the club as an institution, even bullshit it up a bit to help create interest. We seem to not bother. See all the banners around grounds like Spurs, Chelsea, Arsenal etc lauding their history/old players? It all helps the 'brand'. Building a good side does as well like, but baby steps and that.