Howmanheyman

"Aldi, Aldi, watch them all go by, Aldi, Aldi.......Domino dancing."

The ballad of Mike and Alan. Sitting in the press room on Tyneside, Trying to get off to a good start. The man in the mac said, "You've got to turn back". You know Mike didn't even give Chris a chance. Christ you know it ain't easy, You know how hard they can be. The way things are going The fans will crucify me. Big Andy scored a goal in my first game, No way is he gonna be sold. Llambias called to say, "Andy's on his way, I was the very last geeza they told". Christ you know it ain't easy, You know how hard they can be. The way things are going The fans will crucify me. I just got my feet through the front door. Then he go changes St. James' Park. The men from the press said, "It's now Sports Direct" Once again I'm being kept in the dark. Christ you know it ain't easy, You know how hard they can be. The way things are going The fans will crucify me. Drove from Croydon to the Gateshead Hilton, Talking 'bout the derby all week. They beat us three zero, Now Paolo's a hero, I was beat by an Italian freak. Christ you know it ain't easy, You know how hard they can be. The way things are going The fans will crucify me. Saving up your money for JFK, Giving your jobs to charity. Last night the wife said, "Oh boy, when you're dead You don't take nothing with you But your soul - think!" Sitting in the bath trying to wind down, Listening to the radio one night, Joe Kinnear said, "I'm the new head", I fawt he's just got drunk and talkin' some shite. Christ you know it ain't easy, You know how hard they can be. The way things are going The fans will crucify me. The way things are going They're going to crucify me.

Been taking some tips already.

Going to that Chiili-fest in Seaton Delaval on Sunday so hoping it's dry and nice.

Just want to wish HF's family well. The constant referrals to and through rings a few bells in this household. My Missus is another DLA scrounger as well, the lazy cow.

I don't understand anything in this thread.

I think he's more..... .......than......... (Particularly with the dodgy spelling).

"Oi! Charnley! Tell 'em to fack off. And Charns.......make the same offer for Cabella while yer at it."

Pardew's patter just stinks the place out. Thinks he's managing Burnley or Crystal Palace the fucking mug.

Think that Roma shirt looks pretty smart. It'll be spoiled with a sponsor on it.

Well done. Putting the pressure on CT though.

(What I imagine playing in your head about now).

Alright Jack? We've bought a skinny kid from Spanish 2nd division Tenerife. Haven't seen him play but he wears shit catchers pants. We'll be cushty don't worry.

Just did an hour and it was a piece of piss compared to anything I've ran in the last couple of months. All I did was lose a couple of pounds and freshen my running music up a bit. Strange.

Fokken do her leyyyk! /Gemmill's German speaking Geordie charvas.

The Wife had a seizure last year, bairn obviously gets it from her, up until last year we had know idea she had it, she's not had one since. The bairns weren't seizures, she just went blank/switched off for about five to ten seconds before snapping out of it before she went on medication. They reckon lack of sleep, feeling a bit under the weather and especially alcohol probably brought it on where the Wife was concerned. The bairn can handle her pop. This happened to an old workmate. He'd been attacked years ago and had damage done to his head, (I'm sure he'd had a metal plate put in) but was perfectly fine and had been for nearly twenty years. On holiday he collapsed just like you and was off work for weeks. Like you they hadn't a clue what caused it but I think just put it down to a seizure. As far as I know it never happened again and when they were dealing with my Missus they did say many people who do have a seizure will only happen the one time.

I thought Nike bought umbro out and then did away with them? Most clubs last year who were with umbro switched to another supplier, (mainly nike).

I wonder how many heads that went over? We used to use squashed ice cups as well.

Bit cruel that, MF. CT just happens to suffer from Bulimia Amnesia. He binge eats but forgets to throw it back up.

What about next years tea lady? Any ideas? As much as I've admired Kath Cassidy's efforts over the years we have to face facts, she's 85 years old! I know she can still knock up a lovely cuppa on her day but maybe we should bring in some new blood? I'll be writing a blog about this very soon so can you throw me some ideas and suggestions, please? My favouirite for the job is Shola with Stevie 'Tayls' Taylor as his assistant. Cheers.