shackbleep

I could easily write it in German.. or google could I dont recommend that like

Says the man who used to be known as 'Turd Ferguson'...

Could we be that lucky? (*) * - feel bad towards Billy for saying that as he's a good lad...

Only if Colo / Williamson are injured. I concur with Alex. I was fucking delighted he had fuck all to do with the 5-1 game because you can bet your bottom dollar he'd have been bigging himself up afterwards!

[pedant]Not likely, he's got a broken leg[/pedant] Big question is of course how he comes back from the injury. If he doesn't lose any pace or ability then IMO him starting is a no-brainer. But I agree with the comments made by DK etc that he'd be somewhat wasted wide left. Be interesting to see how Hughton deals with it, but I have confidence that he will

Might just be me, but there seems a bit of a conspiracy to give him a quick yellow in matches. Just summat I noticed. The last one was a joke...For a tiny bit of shirt pulling which is normally a telling off. I think that opinion is assisted by the fact that we're desperate for him not to be banned tbh.

Zookeeper says to Paddy: "The Gorilla is in heat & we need someone to have sex with it. Would you consider shagging it for £500?" Paddy replies: "I will on 3 conditions: 1. I'm not kissing it 2. My family must never know about this 3. I'll need a couple of weeks to get the cash together!"

Ordered a chinese last night, the chink turned up at my door and said "£20 prease". I smiled and said "Can you tell me the name of Jordan's blind son?" He said "Harfey Pwice". I replied "Cheers Ting Tong, here's your tenner now fuck off"

Ritual twatting for Mr Allardyce if you please... on the pitch and from the stands.

If we could offload Xisco and send Smudge to a Leeds-type team in the Championship, then I could see us going for the likes of that lot. Fat Sam was rumoured to be interested in taking him to Ewood Park the other day...

Because he'd have been wasting his time. I know for a fact that, unless the club is sold, Given won't come back here in a million years. I was talking about Wenger, Ah gotcha...

And I'm just the doctor to administer it You like a woman that's taller than you though, don't you? Like he can afford to be choosy...

Webber for me like - so he can stick two fingers up at Red Bull who so clearly want Vettel to prosper. Can't stand the irritating little cunt myself. Personally I love Alonso but I think this season poses perhaps the best chance Webber will ever have to be WDC - and what a great champion he would be. Oh yeah, and Rob..... fuck off!

One of the blokes at work made a bet with me after Hockenheim that Alonso would be world champion. I was so confident back then I put a ton on it.... Well, fingers crossed eh?

Because he'd have been wasting his time. I know for a fact that, unless the club is sold, Given won't come back here in a million years.

tbf the midfield was fucking gash that season and a million miles off what we have now. Can have the best strikers in the world but they'll score fuck all if the delivery isn't there.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/chalkbo...5Z4s32Em1236u3R Fucking awesome.

On a budget!! Had we beaten them and also Wigan we'd be joint top with Chelsea. But we didn't and we need to clear it out of our minds. As Fish said, the Mackems & Arsenal results cancel out the Blackpool & Stoke results. We're punching at our weight and it feels fucking great. Tiote is fucking class like!

The contact should be sewn up before January so that CH can concentrate that month totally on player recruitment!

What? Falling asleep on the sofa while your best mate gives some slapper a seeing to? I know, if he had anything about him he'd be stuck in to one of the other lasses. Letting carroll bring home 3 girls for a sexy orgy and cocaine night, knowing full well that carroll was told to stay with him because hes seen as a mature and responsible character by the courts/club/supporters etc. Also knowing that his wife wasnt happy in the first place about carroll moving in, you really think this was the best idea. What's totally laughable at your stance on this one is that you'd advocate Obafemi Martins still being at the club! What Carroll got up to is tame by comparison man!

My big fear is that Redknapp is lined up to replace Capello in the England job.. If that's the case I'm bloody certain who Spurs will have their eye on and if his contract runs out, you can bet your bloody life they'll have him back at WHL in some capacity. Contract has to be forthcoming, surely...

Wonderfully assured performance - we've built ourselves a tight, well organised XI, I just hope Ashley doesn't rest on the laurels and gets some depth built to the squad in January. 2 Sundays in a row on Sky and we walk away with all the points - bring on the next one!

Fuck me they know how to live... Aye, righto...

Button under attack..... literally! http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-11704802

Brilliant!