snakehips

You're not far wrong! I have to wear a nose clip caus the smells eminating from these 'lads' attacks my central nervous system.

I never could understand betting odds All I know is I wont be putting a dime on our chances of winning the Premiership.

Agreed. The laughing stock we have been over the past few years has been more than enough punishment.

A guy goes to Nottingham City Council to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him "Have you been in the armed services?" "Yes"he says "I was in the Falklands for three years." The interviewer says "That will give you extra points toward employment" and then asks"Are you disabled in any way?" The guy says "Yes 100%... a land mine blew my testicles off.. The interviewer tells the guy "OK.I can hire you right now. The hours are from 8:00 AM. to 4:00 PM. You can start tomorrow. Come in at 10:00 AM." The guy is puzzled and says "If the hours are from 8:00 AM. to 4:00 PM. why do you want me to come in at 10:00 AM? " "This is a council job" the interviewer replies."For the first two hours we sit around scratching our balls.......no point in you coming in for that." Well I thought it was good

Macs are in, baby, macs are in!!!

What you see is all natural, so come and get it girls

Aye. Been arrested before though. Awww shucks You had gone up in my estimations with your earlier revelations Contrary to Gemmill, I saw you on some anarchy march or anti poll tax demonstration and causing millions of pounds worth of damage with your antics. Oh well, you're just a wuss Me? A night in the cell for having a couple of wine gums too many. Like most who get chucked in at 11 or 12 pm I was chucked out again around 5 am - bloody awful

hey canny, how ? Ask Steve Harmison

Shshsh I'm cherishing the moment

I'm afraid my lips are sealed and you will all have to use your imaginations as best as possible You don't know what a Smooth Operator moment is, Toplass ??? C'mon, read his posts

TALKsport are up to their tricks again of pretending to being at the match Obviously commentating from tv pictures. Engerlund now two - nil up.

You laugh, but that's circa 600 season tickets. A month ago I would have FYP to read '600 season tickets at the circus'. Now, I'm hopeful that life at the big top is going to be a little less of a joke.

Can't surely have been any worse than that awful attempt of a film by the name of Oceans 12? It was better than 12. Purely because it didn't have that awful Catherine Zetec Jones in it!

I went to Newcastle today. I was waiting in Haymarket Metro Station. Then it happened. This vision of lovliness appeared. We looked at each other, and you know when eye contact is made and it is obvious you have to speak? It was just like that. She smiled. I attempted to, in my nervous state. I'm too much of a gentleman to go into details, but she gave me something really really nice And when I got home, certain parts of my body were sore and acheing. So, S.O. moments do happen to us mere mortals!

Went to see Oceans 13 this afternoon. No more than acceptable. 5 out of 10 on the hips scale.

Mrs Hips and I should be there tomorrow. Some bint I know gave me some tickets. We're taking our Sou'westers and galoshes

Definitely. I think it's true of many, that you get to a certain age in life where you're impressed by very little, and question everything. 90% of this board is at that stage I feel. If you want to be impressed by something, get Verlaine to put his footballing you tube video's up. He's playing football with his dog in his back garden, it's like watching Ginola against Neil Cox, I won't say which one Verlaine is.. I may be confused in my old age, but the problem I had was your intitial post, '....NUFC source....suggests....' which means the source doesn't KNOW it's happening. You then go on as if it's a cut and dried certainty. Hey, if it does happen, I'll buy you a beer

Why the wink?? I fill most of the criteria you mention above

He's gone to Chewsee. That's his problem. Move on. Anyway, didn't he do some dastardly cheating in some way (diving or summat?? ) a couple of seasons ago?? *just attempting a weak, moralistic 'we don't want that type here' point of view *

Has anyone noticed that one of our companions has an avatar of a swimming pool Swimming pools are obviously a secret sign between bummers

It's just indicative of today's society - especially football - where everything has a value. Ridiculous state of affairs tbh

See my last post

Used to go on Newcastle-Online. Works for the Chronicle now. Used to work for the chronicle. Works for NUFC now. He's not my source though. Do I detect some sort of hero worship ?? If he still 'writes' I hope his articles are better than some of the ones that appear, and have appeared in the past, on N-O.

Used to go on Newcastle-Online. Works for the Chronicle now. Ahh, no wonder I've never heard of him.